who I want to be is
trapped beneath my
skin, stretching
stretching,
tearing at my
seams.
she cries, "let him go
and the wound will
set me free. oh, god,
please."

it's just

that I hope macaroni and
cheese makes you miss me
and that you'll be downtown
and drive by my building and
see my car and feel an ache in
your chest because you are not
allowed inside anymore and
that your hands can barely
play all those songs you wrote
about me at your shows and
that the book on astronomy I
gave you glares at you from
the shelf and that no one will
kiss you like I did, no one will
make you shiver like I did, no
one will light a fire inside of you
like
I
did.

I've
done
nothing
for the
past six
months
but be
lost in
you.

I spread out everything I had inside
of me on your living room
floor
in small, neat stacks.
I said
fix me
fix me
fix me
please
but you didn't know
how.

you breathe
like
the cities
that I long for
but
your heart beats
like
home.

"You're cute!"
jumped off the walls
of the ally
"Except you're smoking
a cigarette so now
you aren't"
unbelievably
my spirits were raised
till she stumbled
into a car
with a drunk
driver

if there is a
crash
I hope she becomes
a
survivor