whatever I have done, I am so so sorry. whatever you are feeling, I am so so sorry. whatever is happening, I am so so sorry. whatever this is, I am so so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to.

More and More i say and More and More you know and More and More i feel More disconnected More delusional and More gone

press your foot against mine but no please dont press your hand against mine but no please dont press your leg your fingertips your side your hips your touch
no please dont

waitwaitwait

whatever I did, I am so so sorry. whatever you feel, I am so so sorry. whatever happened, I am so so sorry. whatever this is, I am so so sorry. I don’t mean, I don’t mean to, I don’t mean to.

but i always do
More and More

the shared hot breath is what makes me so crazy. the small battles of tongues are what make me so insane. in this instant in this moment i want it all back. i want it now and i want it forever. my senses are selfish. i want your hands pulling my legs over yours and i want to feel you smile as you pull away only to come right back. i want the pressure of your lips making love to my neck but so gently. i want to feel your hair slipping through my fingers. i want to brush your cheek with my fingertips and feel the sand. i want to hear the small laugh as you pull back. i want to ask are you laughing at me and to say dont laugh at me. and i want to say your name. then i want to say it again. i want to hear you laugh again and hear you say no youre just funny. it is all these things and more that make me so

(it is everything
all at once
that makes me so)

what if i want to hear you say should i not have kissed you? and what if i want to respond no thats not it. what if i kiss you again just to make sure you understand. and what if i ask okay? and your eyes look straight into mine as you nod and what if you say okay. and what if i kiss you again?

(i kissed you again)

and it makes me so