I don't want to take meds for depression
Adding another component to my ****** up brain is only going to be stressful.

What if I dont take it?
Will everything feel worse?
Will my mind and body become so reliant on these stimulants that I wont know what different emotions feel like?

The "Happy" that ill be feeling will only be a temporary man made lala land.

It feels like some inescapable thing,
Is trying to replace my heart
Before it knows how to beat on its own

We all have that person who we want to talk to

But it hurts our soul

When they dont want to talk back

I feel like everything is going so slow
Like everyday is a year.
But at the same time,
When I'm hanging out with someone or even just texting them,
Time seems to fly by.

Give me a day that feels like a day.
Give me the time to talk to someone and not have it end in a flash

You are not the star,
But the dust it left behind.
You are not the fame,
But the emptiness it left behind.
You are not the picture,
But the empty frame.
You are not the person,
But the shadow that follows them.

What if the roles were reversed?

What if you were the star?
Would you be sad about the person who was left in the dust?
What if you had the fame?
Would you feel the emptiness of the onlookers?
What if you were the picture?
Would it hurt to look at the people you left behind?

Would you wish you went back to being in the shadows?

Where there used to be a heart.
Full of love and admiration.
Is left a hole.
Dark as night.
Empty as a black hole.
You feed the hole with emotions.
Over time it gets bigger,
and bigger.
Until the Hole isn't just where your heart was.
Now it is your lungs too,
You cant breathe.
The black hole spreads to your head,
And takes over your mind.
You cant think.

A Grin,
Plastered on your face.
Happy.
Or so it seems.
Inside you're breaking down.
Picking out every flaw as you look in the mirror.
A tear.
Rolls down your cheek,
as you reach for the blade.
The blood flows as you cry.
Tomorrow.
The same smile.
nobody knows.
Its the secret you cant keep in,
so you let it out.
It becomes those cuts, burns, and bruises.
Your eyes gleam with the tears that you shed.
They dont know,
That the prettiest eyes shed the most tears.
The prettiest smile,
Has felt the most pain.

You ask me "are you okay?"
"yes" I reply.
but cant you tell that deep down its a lie?
The pressure is building up inside my head,
Sometimes I really wish,
I was dead.

These are not just scars.
These are the countless demons,
Hurtful words,
And emotions she keeps chained inside.