My head is in a spin
because of all the thoughts stuck within.

My heart is locked away
and that’s how it’s going to stay.

Feelings are bottled in a jar,
floating in the ocean where it’s drifting off afar.

My thoughts are incomplete,
written down where they can’t be bothered.

I have a mind like weather,
it always seems to change at random times.

Sometimes flare guns go off in my heart,
warning my entire being to keep my emotions apart.

She fell for a boy
She knew he wouldn't hurt her.

He were sweet, caring
Her thoughts of him was daring

Her heart melted from his voice
But one day, she heard he made another choice

She was confused, upset
But she still haven't give up

She remains in battle
Self assured to win his heart

I was damaged to much
It leaves bruises, a bunch

You'll never see the damage words leave
It's always hidden by our skin

Emotions, hidden within your heart and soul
Leaving pain untold...

Fake smiles and pretend laughs
It's a habit of life around us.

Majority of people is a paradox

Neither happy
nor sad...

This world is a damaged humanity

You have hate. You have love.
The word 'judgemental' fits you like a glove.

Mentally destroying,
with lives you're fooling.

Judge me all you want;
call me a *****, ***** and ****.

Ha! You feel so proud
when your friends roar of laughter
while I'm being slaughter.

You're a bully,
a judgemental soul,
eating my body whole...

Judgement leads to suicide
for it's what victims use for the pain to subside
because in the shadows the can't hide.

Self-hatred evolves,
innocent souls fed to the wolves.

Helplessly they break down
from a smile to a frown.

Judgement is unneeded
for demons are being fed.

Your sadistic ways,
it lets joy fade.

Your tongue, a weapon of destruction
and joy abduction.

His ***** hands brushed over my skin
I could hear his heavy breathing in my ears.
His hot gusting breaths pulsing against my neck

I held my breath, body shaking blindly.
My heart beating furiously out of fear.

He grinned, my heart sinking.

His lips pressed against my cold skin,
I am petrified…

He pulled back, as if its some game to him.
Suddenly I felt his hand tugging at the hem of my shirt…

Few moments later his hand was suddenly on my breast,
pressing, kneading it like a cat

His other hand slipped up my thigh sneakily, grabbing at my leg.

I was able to escape his grasp…

what is heaven?
what is hell?
is it the places where demons
and angels dwell?

what is life?
what is death?
is it the cause that leaves you broken
and sad?
or is it the cause that makes you laugh and smile... by force?

what is joy?
what is depression?
is it the empty expression you show,
or the paradox life you live?

what is love?
what is hate?
is it the power of attraction to one another?
or the anger and fear pushing others away?

what is a human?
what is a monster?
is it the living beings walking
upon this shattered earth?
or the being hiding inside our broken bodies?

why the low self-esteem?
is it because the judgement they sow?
or the inner hate and fear you bare inside?...

what is faith?
what is hope?
is it the trust you have in someone?
or the feeling of discouragement ?

what is time?
is it the illusion we witness every day?
or the thing that determines age?

what is marriage?
what is divorce?
is it the bond between two loved ones displayed through rings?
or the papers you fill in after one fight?

what lies beneath our skin?
but beyond our minds?
will we ever know?

what is love?
is it the heart-racing moment you experience
when your eyes first meet?
or the sudden fluttery feeling inside your stomach?

what is anger?
is it the moment when hate takes over?
or the moment when your frustration makes you
lash out at someone or something?

what is equality?
is it the respect you show others by handling them
the same despite their sexuality, race, religion, etc.?
or the judgement we sow across everyone?

what makes a person rich?
money?
or love?

Have you ever felt physically sick because of a person;
A person you would give up everything for if you had to?

Have you ever felt like a vessel that carries feelings you wish to get rid of?
Have you ever felt like crying but no tears are falling?

Have you ever tried to un-love someone, but can’t no matter how hard you try?
Have you ever tried to not show feelings to the person you’re most comfortable around?

Sadly, I have.

Sadly, I can’t get rid of my feelings for him…
Sadly, I can’t get myself to let go of him….

I’m comfortable around him, more than what I am with others,
But some days I feel like I’m a bother.

I long to be his, but I know it won’t happen soon…
Some nights I just wish my tears and feelings gone…

I haven’t opened this much to someone before,
And I don’t regret that I have… even though it hurts.

If I had the guts, I’d tell him face to face how I really feel,
But my fear holds me back.

I fear that the result might hurt me more,
I’m scared I’ll start crying in front of him and I can’t have that.

Being around him makes me feel at home,
Makes me feel calm and not unwanted.
I can be myself around him…

I can’t be like that in front of other people, let alone guys.

How do I deal with everything?
I haven’t fallen this hard before…

“Why do you fear the stars?’,
a stranger once asked me.

“I don’t fear the stars but the secrets they hold”,
I replied to them with a faint smile.

I thought to myself:
I fear the truths, secrets & memories the evening sky held.

The night sky holds so much.
Beauty & a bright glowing crescent moon.

The stars captivate the eye of the beholder;
The beholder who seeks their way in the lost galaxies.

So, ask yourself this:
Do you fear the stars & why.