His ***** hands brushed over my skin
I could hear his heavy breathing in my ears.
His hot gusting breaths pulsing against my neck

I held my breath, body shaking blindly.
My heart beating furiously out of fear.

He grinned, my heart sinking.

His lips pressed against my cold skin,
I am petrified…

He pulled back, as if its some game to him.
Suddenly I felt his hand tugging at the hem of my shirt…

Few moments later his hand was suddenly on my breast,
pressing, kneading it like a cat

His other hand slipped up my thigh sneakily, grabbing at my leg.

I was able to escape his grasp…

My head is in a spin
because of all the thoughts stuck within.

My heart is locked away
and that’s how it’s going to stay.

Feelings are bottled in a jar,
floating in the ocean where it’s drifting off afar.

My thoughts are incomplete,
written down where they can’t be bothered.

I have a mind like weather,
it always seems to change at random times.

Sometimes flare guns go off in my heart,
warning my entire being to keep my emotions apart.

“Why do you fear the stars?’,
a stranger once asked me.

“I don’t fear the stars but the secrets they hold”,
I replied to them with a faint smile.

I thought to myself:
I fear the truths, secrets & memories the evening sky held.

The night sky holds so much.
Beauty & a bright glowing crescent moon.

The stars captivate the eye of the beholder;
The beholder who seeks their way in the lost galaxies.

So, ask yourself this:
Do you fear the stars & why.

Have you ever felt physically sick because of a person;
A person you would give up everything for if you had to?

Have you ever felt like a vessel that carries feelings you wish to get rid of?
Have you ever felt like crying but no tears are falling?

Have you ever tried to un-love someone, but can’t no matter how hard you try?
Have you ever tried to not show feelings to the person you’re most comfortable around?

Sadly, I have.

Sadly, I can’t get rid of my feelings for him…
Sadly, I can’t get myself to let go of him….

I’m comfortable around him, more than what I am with others,
But some days I feel like I’m a bother.

I long to be his, but I know it won’t happen soon…
Some nights I just wish my tears and feelings gone…

I haven’t opened this much to someone before,
And I don’t regret that I have… even though it hurts.

If I had the guts, I’d tell him face to face how I really feel,
But my fear holds me back.

I fear that the result might hurt me more,
I’m scared I’ll start crying in front of him and I can’t have that.

Being around him makes me feel at home,
Makes me feel calm and not unwanted.
I can be myself around him…

I can’t be like that in front of other people, let alone guys.

How do I deal with everything?
I haven’t fallen this hard before…