Engulfed in flames,
I stand alone
burning for you
whilst you feed the fire.
Doused in gasoline,
I feel overcome by the purity
of a cleansing pain
with no desire
to scream for help.
Feed the fire.
I've burned for years -
All for you,
but in retrospect, it was for me too.
It's been so long. I concede.
Raise my arms; fall to my knees.
No more anger.
No more pain.
All nerves fried,
much like my brain.
But I am conscious,
although unaware
of the crowd
who stands and stares.
I cannot see: not with my eyes
that have since been seared
by love's demise.
But with my heart, I do decree:
I burned for you.
I burned for me.

When you're left with only a bullet
I'll be the barrel you're gazing into.

I'd rather be your itchy trigger finger...
the deciding factor; not the cause of death.

If we swapped positions,
I guarantee you'd choose to be the scope.

Watching,
     aiming,
        waiting.

I bet you prefer ****** rifles
with the distance in between us.

I prefer pistols
because you're too close for comfort.

Every time the walls echo,
I hear explosions and gun shots.

Sometimes I hide under my pillow,
like a soldier in the trenches...

but your memory is between my sheets,
and you know exactly where to find me.

See... I feel like you're cheating,
But nothings fair in war
       or love.
And did you even love me?

I'm in a skirmish with myself,
and the ghost of you is on the side
of me that I don't recognize anymore.

The scariest thing in the world
is to be haunted
by someone
who's still alive.

Whisper to me that you hate me
so I'll leave the window open.

Come and go as you please.
I beg pardon for the invitation
but if I can pretend I have a choice,
maybe I won't be the one
with the barrel in my mouth.

I am a prisoner
of the present.

The monotony of cacophony
subdues the depth of calm.
The tyranny of sound
will not cease and desist.

But for a moment I am free:
I hear nothing; I feel nothing.

         Sanity.

            At least that's how I perceive it,
But only for that moment.

A single engine's burst
or the song which birds chirp
reinstate the madness
from which I run.

I suppose this is being human.
I should have been a cloud.

Creating new memories
like the ones that disappeared
when you lied and said forever
despite my lack of fear.
I can't erase you completely
but the day I do I'll cry,
and from the moment forward
I'll understand I've died.
The understudy
did a better job
than I ever thought he could.
He stole the heart,
on one knee
the day I said I would.
When I told you, "Break a leg"
I wasn't speaking in such literal terms.
But, in honesty,
I'm glad you did
so that I could learn.
He holds me tight
through night
although I push away.
The thought of you,
a heart untrue,
how can my dreams still come true?
This is what goes through my mind
when he asks me what is wrong.
Until I find a better way,
I'll pretend that I am strong.

From ashes to ashes.
From dust to dust.
I'll search for you forever;
While floating, I must.
Maybe I will follow you
Because I will leave before you do...
And the Universe will bring us back together
Lest I fly forever and ever.
I could come back as a butterfly
And fight the wind, a battle cry.
I was born just to die,
And I pray that after I will fly.
But it's possible I'll stay on Earth
Instead participating in a rebirth.
I could be your ghost this time...
It's only appropriate.

I try to drown my demons
but they know how to swim
I thought everything from hell burned
but I guess this can't be true
maybe it froze over
the day I left you
I may have a drinking problem
but from what I learned
in chemistry class
Alcohol is a solution.
with that being said...
why are my problems
unsolved mysteries?
Like the old television show
I guess it's because I killed
the only part of me
that made any sense:
You.

But it's hard to catch a criminal
after the first 48.
it's been a year.
So I'll never be caught
but I'll be the one
who carries the burden
like Atlas
with the world on my shoulders.
maybe I'll defy the gods
and hurl it into the Sun...
I guess
I've always wanted to watch the world burn.

A field of stars laid me to sleep
Behind my heavy eyes.
I realized how small I was
In the span of everything.
How little space
I must've taken up in your life
When you allowed me inside.
How often you saw my face
When you closed your eyes
And opened your mind.
Opened your heart.
Then shut it just as quickly.
I still wish upon stars
That I will find my way home to you.
I know it's as far off
As one of the foreign countries
That I've been dreaming about...
So I'll rest tonight
With a vision of sunrise
And imagine that you are the Sun,
illuminating my darkest crevasses.
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon
Where to shine is blasphemy
Because I was never meant to see your light.