Is anything truly what it appears to be?
Why is it, that when I smell
Honey
I do not think of buzzing bees,
But of whiskey, leftover on your breath?

Her skin felt like cashmere,
And made my cheeks flush
As I felt warmth overflowing inside of me.
I could not help but feel shy at first.

Something that was nice about being with men
Was that there was no urge
To compare them to myself-
This is often inherent between women.

As our limbs became entangled, though,
I was not concerned by whose ******* were larger.
Although we had curves in different places,
It became harder to tell when one sand dune ended
And another began.
I would not mind allowing the wind to blow us into one.

With delicate fingertips I would trace her collarbones
From one side to the other,
And watch as the goosebumps became raised on her skin.
The indent
Where neck meets chest
Looked to me to be exactly where my lips belonged,
And as I heard her breath catch
I knew I was right.

Men do not smell like lavender flowers and warm vanilla.

What a pity
To live in a city
Where the only time you feel pretty
Is when men holler at you,
Telling you
To show them your itty
bitty
kitty.

You have never
Tied your hands around my neck to
Scare me or
Thrown chairs at me or
Called me a w h o r e in
The middle of a crowded room like the last but
You tell everyone else that I am a w h o r e in
Private so
I do see much difference if
You won’t hear my side of the story like why
I don’t let people in and
Why that is because
So many others have hurt my mind and
My body  because maybe then you would
Understand the reason behind my thinking even if
It’s not always with my head and sometimes with
My *******because at least my
Conscience isn’t involved with
A situation like that and
At least I can still find pleasure no matter who
It is and where it is because
It doesn’t matter to me although
I understand it might matter to you and I am sorry because
I do not want to hurt you but that is why
I warned you that is why
I did not want to let you in even if
I wanted to even if
You didn’t want me to because
I cannot help it I can not fill in the cracks because
I need something stronger I need
Something heavy no matter if
It makes my chest cave in or
My stomach pound in pain I like it better than
My heart beating right out of my own body.

lies are easier to spit through gritted teeth
I love you
I hate you
come here
leave me alone

I don't even know what I want anymore

Never
Have I ever
Been able to devote myself to only one thing.
There are too many songs to sing.
Give me your heavy metal
Serenade me with your acoustic guitar.
I’m not an expert on anything,
Not even love.

They call me promiscuous,
Usually with harsher words than that.
I won’t apologize
For going to bed with whomever my heart or body desires.
Unless I break your heart.
How else will I discover that
Some nights I want to be chained to the bed,
And other nights be melted ice cream,
Just aching for a spoon?

You call me selfish,
But really it is anything but that.
All I want to do is spread my love,
Far and wide
And why does only one person deserve that?

I’m afraid I’m spreading myself too thin.
Sometimes
I notice my ribcage
Protruding a little too noticeably from my skin.
I’m hungry,
But I have never been able to decide what I want off of the menu.
It’s a Libra gift and a curse.