Here is a little lesson on my depression. I don't care that you think I'm pretty, skinny, or anything like that. I care that you want me alive and in your world. My happiness means nothing to me. All that matters is your happiness. Even if I don't like you, you mean more to me than I do to myself. If I say I love you I mean it and no one can change that. If you hurt me I want care and I will always blame myself. You can hurt me all you want and I wont care a bit but you hurt someone I care about I will care and I will stand up for them. I am worthless, I am nothing. I am worse than nothing, but you are always better than me. I will put myself down and no matter what you say I will not change my not change my mind about myself. I am sorry about everything. There is only one thing in this world I will never be worry about. This is my lesson to you. Take it or leave it I don't care. I will say I don't care and I will stay quite. Its not me ignoring you or not caring about you. Its me not wanting to let people in or to trust the world. I have gone numb and that's how I will stay. Learn a lesson about my depression if you care to.

They all say life is fun. They say it will all be okay. They same I'm here for you. They tell you all these lies. They tell you to live. Live for what? Live for you to **** me more. Live for you to leave me when I need you.

The pain is real. It always stays and never goes. They all leave and it never does. The pain and darkness is more of a friend then anyone. You have to change for them to stay but pain stays for you are you. It came for you just being you. It's the only one who doesn't want you to change. It's the only one who likes you for you. You look around see them all leave. Lean in and let it wrap you in it's arms. You use to scared of it but now it's for best friend. You use to hate it but now you love it. That pain that ince controlled you now is the only thing with you. If it wasn't for it you would forget you even were alive. They all day it will leave and you will be okay one day but you don't want to be. Without the pain you would have forgotten who you are. You don't want the pain to leave because if it does you have no one left. You start to question if it will leave you to now. Do you really want it to stay? Of course you do because without it even you would lose yourself forever. So you ask and beg the pain today. maybe one day you will realize it will always stay and that someone else will to.