My hands run across the fiberglass siding
As I think of things worth hiding
The water’s warm, so inviting
The bubbles calling me to join them
I give in and slide my body in
My pallid skin shone in the moonlight
Though I feel this might not last
As my soft skin begins to prickle
I can feel the sadness washing over me
Just like the water on my legs
Its cold hands wrap around my limbs
And I can't move
This water that once welcomed me
Is now cold and menacing
I hear a voice inside of me
Telling me to slide down in
To make the pain go away
So that I may feel free
Once again

But I do not listen
For i know these feelings do not last
They only bite for a while
But soon will leave and let me be

I only have to remind myself
That the sun does come up in the morning
And the bathtub will once more be inviting
The feelings of sadness will no longer be
On my sleeve and in my skin
I only have to keep my head up
And believe that happiness is near

Which I know will eventually ring true

The voices in her head
She tries to make them silent
But every time she tries
They only grow more violent

And when she finally gives up
And lets her demons take over
She seems to go insane
From the voices that control her

She tries to sing a song
And they leave her for a moment
But when her voice goes still
They come back like a tyrant

The harsh memories in her mind
Are only a reminder
Of what she's gone through
And that she's a fighter

So she holds her head up high
And takes a deep breath
She tells herself...
That she'll get through this

And that she can live another day

As she trumps along
In her trek to happiness
She runs into obstacles
But that won't bring her down

The more that she experiences
The more that she will learn
That all things in life
Are just another turn

To her happiness

She realizes that maybe
The things she's been through
Have only made her better
And helped her to understand

That life is hard
And you can't just keep on sitting
And wallowing in your sadness
You have get up, no quitting

And make something beautiful out of your life

Just like a diamond
She had to go through all kinds of pressure and turmoil
To become the woman she is today

Her heart softly pulses.
It beats with love.
With compassion.
With care.
It beats stronger now than yesterday and years before.
The time when someone ripped and stabbed at it.
But it's stronger now.
It's healed those wounds and only hurts every once in awhile.
Today's a new day.
And her heart continues to pulse.
It continues to love as it once did.
Just more carefully.
But sometimes her heart isn't like everyone else's.
It doesn't understand sometimes.
It doesn't understand the kindness shown by another man and wants to reject it when that's all it has ever needed.

I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach.
And I can't breathe.

As if someone is stabbing my lungs.
And I can't breathe.

As if someone is ripping at the tendons inside my body.
And I can't breathe.

I feel as if someone has ****** the air from around me.
And I can't breathe.

As if air never existed.
And I can't breathe.

Perfect spheres of sweet, sweet air float in front of me.
Air that was once mine.
Now every time I breathe in, all I get is water.
And I can do nothing about it.

A block of cement is chained to my legs.
Dragging me down.
Drowning me.

I keep trying to breathe, and all I get is water.  
A mistake.
So many mistakes.

My vision is leaving me.
My lungs are so far gone and now I'm dying.
I'm dying.

Drowning.

There, in the looking glass
Don't you see her?
Her eyes, light green
So full of mystery and past pains
Her dress, so pallid
Has been stained by words so very brutal
And her lips, trembling so
Daring to speak but she won't
For her lips have been sewn shut
By the man who told her not to orate one word
The man who should've listened
The man who should've loved her
The man who she dares not to ever utter his name even once
The man who she should've been proud to call Dad
Is now the man who's ruined her
Who's given the hellish gift of anxiety
Its icy hands wrap ‘round her neck like a vise
Reminding her of his merciless words
The bullets that he shot at her
The scars he has given her
And now her white dress is no longer just stained
But it is a whole new color
All thanks to he who shall not be named

I used to look into the night sky and gaze at the stars.
I'd wonder what it would be like, to touch one.
Or to be up there, floating amongst those beautiful ***** of fiery light.

But tonight, there are no stars.
And I ponder about where they've gone.
I wonder how each and every one of those great specks in the sky seem to have dimmed and died away.

And I sob because of this.
I scream into the dark void of what is night, demanding that the stars return.
But they don't.

They don't return and I can't touch them.
I can't wonder what it'd be like to be floating with them.
I can't lay in the tall grass and try to count them when I can't sleep.

So, I don't sleep tonight.
I just lay still, and will them back into view.
Will them to fill my vision and mind with amazement and thoughts of complete awe.

But they don't return.

The anxiety of it all strangles me, and I can't do it any longer.
I have to shut my eyes and breath.
I can't keep worrying about this.

After what feels like an eternity, my eyelids flutter open.
And there they are.
As if they never even left.

All of them singing their songs to me.
Each one telling its story.
And my heart finally can stop beating so loudly in my ears.

Tears well up in my already wet eyes.
But this time, these are joyful tears.
Because my stars once again fill my mind and heart with wonder and contentment.