tled

Black as day dark as night I dont know why I started this fight it's a problem I chose to begin it started with a needle and a bi#h called her01n you see m3th didn't do it for me it wasn't enough that's the real reason I started doing the stuff tar is no joke it eats your soul you think I'm lying then call my bluff I've had it hard and my childhood was more than rough so when I turned 14 I couldn't keep being tough. I gave in and started chasing the feeling if numb it wasn't long before I learned my choice was dumb I was turning tricks just to get my stupid f#%ing fix then I'd go to jail and have to deal with the kicks all to bury the memories of what my dad started when I was six some people say I'm crazy I think I'm just broken a person who's been beaten down by fists and cruel words spoken life flipped a coin I got the wrong side of the token I'm hurting so bad I bet u think I'm joking I pray so often that God will tame me away just stop my heart dont make it beat another day but 20 years have passed and hes ignored each word I say what do you do when you cant stand to be who you are I've cut myself ive swallowed pills I still have every scar but the only thing that kills my pain is xanax and black tar. I wanna stop but don't know how to love myself for me cuz growing up a *** toy is all my daddy thought I could be. I wanna open up my chest and expose my pain for all to see maybe than he'll say hes sorry and God can set me free.