Men and cheese,
I tell ya.
I can walk away from anything else.
People aren’t meant to be loved in parts.
Cheese isn’t meant to be eaten in blocks.
Yet here we are.

I can taste myself rotting from the inside
The cycle repeats religiously
All that’s left lingers
Slipped so quickly through thin fingers.
After the teeth and hungry hands are no longer
On to the next they wander.

I am not sure who first said
that the eyes are windows to the soul
but it must be true
because yours are every bit
as amber as your heart.
They are also every bit as tired.
Forever a mystery,
Greedy souls slinking in.
Sticky fingers
Leaving the best of us
Grasping for straws
Begging for thread.
Take it all
Leave a shell
Somehow they’re still good and well.

My hair is coming back
Silver strands, snowy salutations
Falling just as gently
Grizzled graceful
Chaos and serenity simultaneous
Consistent contradiction.

Tale as old as time
Born bold in brine
I walked out of those waves
Wandered
High desert honey
Life is funny
Juniper and I, juxtaposed
Wildest of horses
Her winds are unruly aren’t they
Be careful, you might blow away
I’ll never leave Nevada, not really.

Heavy heart but light on my feet
Settled but not to stay
Sweet mountain stream
Not quite a dream
Copacetic Colorado
I prefer my castilleja with less contention
Arches itching
Clocks are ticking

You’ve filled every crevice of my mind.
Much like the haze that’s settled into these mountains.
Cradled.
The distance doesn’t make a difference.
You were just blowing it, smoke.
Disappointment will dissipate.
Winter is on its way,
I feel it in my chest.

Oh oleander,
once upon a time
you were often the object of a daydream.
Violent mercy
sweet demise
🔀

From time to time you would mention
That I’d likely never meet your father.
I knew him well.
I woke up next to him
Every morning that I fell asleep next to you.

Frigid feeling
Family facade
False embraces,
fair-weather friends love you
until they need to lift a finger.
I’ll leave the light on for myself.

If only your lips
could find their way to mine
The way those lazy snowflakes
found their way
to the ground this afternoon.
Dizzy dance,
I’m in a daze.

Went for a wander
to find just one reason, stumbled on six.

Oh, and a single rock
that reminds me of a steller’s jay skull
that I found one time
while slinking through vanilla trees
which reminds me of home
which reminds me of you
and that is reason enough.

I’m not as casual as you’ve seen me dress.
Moons are passing
I am aging
strings are what I’m seeking.
You were careless
Last severing your own too short
Failing and fraying
Growth never came from drowning,
Liquor lullabies.
Healing from hindering
Hiding.
I’ve never felt as alone
As asleep next to you.
Untouched
Unseen
Unknown.

When I said that I wanted to learn to dance
I didn’t mean around your emotions.
I’ve seen you shoot,
It’s always straight.
Maybe I’m the one
that needs to find the point to my arrow.

My ****** poems won’t pay the bills
Isn’t that the way you put it.
They might save my life.
But I’m sure you could put a price on that too.

Reoccurring themes.
What can I say
My heart is steady
It might be the only part of me that is
I don’t know how to feel things small
I scare easy
Maybe that’s why I’m so partial to Nevada
I can relate to those horses
on a personal level.
Do I crave the gin
Or do I miss the juniper

You can be too much
But never enough
Spend your life working
For the letdown

There’s a rock in my shoe.
Dead snake heartache.
Home is where you make it but I started building in the wrong place.
Sorely  mistaken, steps I’ve taken.

When I think about it,
it makes sense
how easily I fell into your ocean eyes.
I grew up in those waters
and you feel like home.
Familiar doesn’t mean good.
I walked away from that comfort
when it didn’t serve me,
and I’ll walk away from you too.
Sure as sugar.
It all ends in salt.