What is this loneliness inside my soul
Begging to be let free
But how
How do I let free that which is not physical

Or am I mistaken
Is loneliness a tangible thing
Can it turn into something greater than an emotion?
******

Will these bodies keep me company
Or are these lifeless eyes just another distraction
Helping me hide from my pain
Running away from my shadows

Drugs
Attention
***
Mutilation

I could say these things brought me joy
Pleasure
But no
I always knew the pain was right around the corner
Mocking me

Sometimes I miss how I used to be
The act I could put on
I had friends
Family

As I grew older I couldn't keep up the facade
I'm not a terrible person at heart
I don't want to be this way
I don't want people to leave me

But whatever I have
Whatever I am
Keeps me back

I can't get close to people
I can't have friends
I just hurt them in the end

I don't mean to abuse people
It just turns out that way
I'm sorry to everyone I've hurt
I'm sorry it has to be this way

But I realized I can't hurt anyone when I'm alone
So here I am thinking thoughts no one will ever know
Feeling things nobody will ever guess
And bleeding blood that everyone will never see

Maybe I wasn't made for this world
Maybe this world wasn't made for me
All I know is that I'm dangerous

I lure people in
With promises of love and support
And I believe it too
That I'll help them

But in the end it's always the same
The people I love
They all end up more hurt inside
Than before they came

So I'm leaving now
Even though I'm not saying goodbye
I want you to know that I love you
All of you

Even if I've done the cruelest of things
Said the meanest of words
And committed the worst of crimes against your hearts
I want you to be happy

And the worst part is
That I can't take responsibility for my actions
I don't want to say I was wrong
I can't admit I was the cause of your suffering

I've tormented you
Manipulated you
Destroyed you
Traumatized you

Yet a part of me doesn't want to accept I was wrong
A part of me feels nothing for your pain
I can't take the blame
I'd rather die first

It hurts so bad
The pain you have dealt me
I don't know what I did wrong
Please tell me

Was it because I was weak?
That is what you told me
But I still don't understand
Why you had to leave me

I knew you more than most
Is what I thought
Then you threw me away like I was nothing
I feel so stupid, opening my heart to someone like you

I knew you were bound to hurt me
I knew you were bound to bruise me
But what I don't understand
Is why you had to leave me

We were there all along
The children of shadows
Waiting to be seen
The soft words of the fallen left unspoken

Those of us who made it out alive
We mourn those who did not
The grief and pain of being misunderstood
Is more than I could ever describe with words

Those eyes filled with hate
Mad at the world, and scared of fate
They used to hold hope and light
The eyes of a child

We raced hurriedly towards the future
Saying "I can't wait to grow up"
What were we thinking?

And here we are
Exactly where we wanted to be
But not with the result expected
Asking where it all went wrong

Alone we stand, abused by the world
Confiding in each other
Hoping one of us might have the answer
Just to learn we're all as wounded as the next

What do we fight for?
What do we stand for?
What are we?
Who are we?

We're just kids
Grown older
But kids none the less

You tell us
To fix it ourselves
But you never give us a solution

You tell us
We're your future
And yet, you treat us with indifference.

You tell us
You're here for us
But where is your presence
Among these tears on the ground?

We are the children of shadows
Our hearts beaten and broken
We were waiting for you to open your eyes
But you never even turned around to see

It's time for me to go
I've been struggling so hard
For so long

It's pointless to keep trying
When I'm just going to keep feeling the same way
Why would you care?
You weren't there when I was smiling

No one cares
Unless you're pretty or dying
Why the **** do you want to be my friend
Now that you know I'm suicidal
The second I get better you'll leave

Roses are red
Violets are blue
No words can help me to describe
How much I ******* hate you
Die in a hole

You stupid *** *****
I want to stab you
With a sharp *** stick

Like a rose
You'll be red
Painted over
With more to shed

I'll be waiting
By your door
To take your life away
You little *****