I know    
I tell you this instant
I am under surveillance  
my life is being recorded indefinite
every movement
private or ordinary
including this moment
every event
big or insignificant
without my consent
there is no instant
when i am alone
only deep thoughts I no longer own
I am sure
I feel their stare
every hour they dare
can't you hear
the transmissions and communication
that high supersonic pollution
sending a command to their camera the observer
sometimes it’s near and sometimes it’s somewhere further
then I hear them, their inside the interior
I cannot explain
tell you when it came
how I missed them inside
but you now they always hide
what is sharp and clear
is the camera they put in here
right there in the Magnavox television
an ordinary TV became their mission
of course it still works with normal precision
no matter what action I take
it’s now in an unbreakable state
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
don’t look at me in that STUPID unbelievable way
you can’t conceive why
I won't just leave and be free
as much as I hate the show they see
I would rearrange the furniture down to the mantel
or even change the channel
to leave through the front door is not possible
the problems that it will intelle
outside, your crazy it's just short of suicidal
don’t you understand they are watching every intention
each direction
to plan and abandon
a walk out the door would terrorize
  I would be seen by all the eyes
the eyes in the sky
    you can't deny the satellites
catching everything like it's their right
dominating the outside day and night
pointed directly at My hidden front door
don't get me started on the store’s
once the night is in its darkest hour
I have tried to leave regardless their power
walk right out no longer the coward
that is what all the plans are for
I must make it out all my thought’s implore
I extend my hand and keep my eyes on the floor
holding the **** I begin the chore
then as if it were a signal
yes!! a secret signal
something Tucked deep inside to conceal
a dangerous secret
like a man in the shadows wearing the blackest hat
he conceals all the private things from my closet
the phone rings before I can even see the welcome mat
on a stunned level
It's always the same devil
I am obliged to acknowledge the scoundrel
we are immersed in his timing
an old move that is still so very cunning
a silence oh so staggering
my fear disorienting
they are listening
I pick up the phone
ignoring the radio source  
a land line of course
never touch a cellular they are the worst
the G P S will never let you go
cashiers at all the supermarkets will have a window
Strange ladies at the grocer
will be calling me by the name only I know
frozen with fear
the Receiver is on my ear
there is no one there
it's always the same dreaded silence
the attempt to scare me in alliance
must they listening for every performance
I know
it's them again
in here and on the other end
I am telling you I know and it's evident
they are recording my every movement
I am under surveillance
   I know

   Terry D’Arcy-Ryan

the perfect winter day
the house is warm, the fireplace a blaze
dinner simmering on the stove
a meal that will warm to the bone
my homemade Irish stew is perfect
for cold winter days and poisoning
you never finished the first bowl
that's when it hit you hard
my combines, the realization
that I disguised your demise
in a bowl of Irish stew
in the first stages you were surprised
not understanding what this is about
why I would **** you
I sat calmly watching you suffer
it is only fair at this point
waiting for the man I knew
you began to demand that I help you
to stop it, to fix it, to take it all away
and then the monster entered
reaching, sweeping and grabbing for me
you were getting slow and sloppy
I was prepared for this moment
you are done dealing out pain
we are down to seconds
you were doubled over in anguish
tears real tears to seal the deal
and now you are dead  
I like you better this way
back to the perfect winter day
there is always such a mess
with home cooking  


Terry D’Arcy-Ryan

forged noble thread
guides a knife to cut or trace
sewing as you slumber
belief is a place right here
inside the very outline
to the scar on your face
time has not erased
the momentary recall
planted in the center
holding tightly to regret
humbled by the force
an energy that lives between us
the always spinning final chance
forgoing lost or found
reminisce in love’s true kiss
but disregard the vow  
grasping for the single reason
beyond what is clear
the day by day cheer
disguising a familiar fear
expression of a coward
an accessory to the hustle
left behind with souvenirs
a voice named forgotten
holds on sincere
having your cake and eat it dear
is a million mile detour
from what is real
to a girl with the most cake
a knife is just a knife
there is no death to mourn
no martyr to end betrayal
a final thread in motion
brings destiny to her feet
a magnificent stretch unfolds her wings  
I am set free
with the fate of a butterfly
trapped inside a jar
the weight of agony’s pain calls
for soul’s that cannot fly
with a bended knee and closed eyes
arms held wide
I reach for the sky


Terry D’Arcy-Ryan

running with the wild things
racing ahead of shadows
claims from the sunshine
speckle lightly on the face

faster than her own feet
tripping a surface courageous
arm's length from disaster
always tugging at loose strings

nature’s constant movement
receives the fearless, little outlaw
landing soft at the top of a hill
intently picking flowers

chosen and counted
maintaining links for a chain
plucking only yellows and white
colors that shine in the night

skipping petals drowned scarlet red
blood from a heart broken
better off dead
I collided with the words
spoken as a child

all around her flowers bloom
this heart so strong in rebel spirit  
love will never stay long or abide
in a thing so wild

humbled forever by the moment
blinded by her crown
silenced with the presence
treasures hidden and found

Terry D’Arcy-Ryan

the very Earth beneath
shakes and trembles
at my feet
horizons break
desert meets Sky

there is no escape
from the *******
always taking and creating
these rapes and shakes
to what end

my eyes dart and wander
like a bird
broken and lost
searching for something familiar
in the land and the frost

the hint of a life past
cannot touch this realm
standing in the shadows
I heard my voice
"welcome to paradise"



Terry D'Arcy-Ryan

knots and weaves
windward gales quickly deceive
ever moving the undertow
constant curves dip in the winds and below
blowing off the waters deep
leaving a mist so sweet
hand to cheek
blue waters press further
possessed by the wind
willful turbines stay in sync completing the cycle
shaping and sculpting the swells
creating an undertow struggling to be free
choose to swallow in pleasure
choose to wallow with the pain
an answer returns with demand
beating fists upon the sand
the wind answers back with violent command
to the tides, to the swells, to the surges, hit the rip current
so powerful, so aggressive, she intimidates
all to catch the craze
ocean, she see's and waves
man is met
sized and weighed


Terry D’Arcy-Ryan

The light no longer exist
Only the dark and darkness is all I see
Deep in this under tow or psychotic shade
I sit with the obscurity that wicked made
to what end
Overlooked by veil or disguise
a spotlight in reprise

this ominous dark curtain drop
far beyond center stage a place marked X
from the blue sky's to my demise
his place is not hell this is dead in denial
late for the reaper and one last kiss
a dull sinkhole short of the abyss
writing in my head a plot and  a twist
the unreliable and suicidal list

darkness steps inside
devouring every nerve I hide
a paralyzing strangle
pressure from every angle
suppressed screams die within  
this predator's dream land
breathing escapes me
Movement leaves
against a constrictions reach
speech betrays again
sounds intense and stunning
listening still
the last melody hitting my ear
the breaking of bones
my shattering frame
  I did not recognize agony's
hiss and surrender

a soft vibration begins to rattle
a growl that began slow
made for the roar of a battle
Deafening
to the Echo inside my head
a sensation of hot water
dripping hot rain
Saliva running off huge fangs
waiting the command
a Bite deep in flesh
again and again

deep in the dark I've been set free  
piece by piece as a hunger feeds
a virtual force indeed
I suddenly see
behind the creature's eyes, my eyes
monstrous vision
to prey with Precision
darkness is everywhere
that's where I will be

I am the face screaming beneath a crack in the Ice
I am the scratch at the surface of you scared pale white
I am the movement in the dark you cannot see
I am the shine in a child’s smile while hiding a knife
I am Still alive, soaked in black and I am not alone
I am coming to tuck you in your bed
bless you with my kiss
to the sound of breaking bones




            Terry D’Arcy Ryan