[ ] I tried and tried to hide my dark side I tried so hard I’d cry and cry I lied and lied to the point I would believe myself if I said I could fly and I did it so good hiding my demons from my family lying and lying day in and day out they most likely wouldn’t even recognize the real me if I reviled myself to them I’d be a imposter in my own home a hostile individual they’d all fear I’d be more then a black sheep most likely judged on my mistakes even my close friend would feel betrayal from my Lucifer like side still I try and compare there white privileged life to what I’m battling like somehow they are able to compare my struggles with the streets saying they understand my struggles so it’s not true I say thanks with a smile while deep down inside I’m twitching trying my best not to raise a fit because honestly they’ll never understand and the last thing I want is to upset a compassionate friend that’s just trying there best to  help a bleeding soul I’ll never compare my treacherous upbringing of drunk family members getting me to cook there drugs when I was only 12 cuz they were to incoherent soaked in there own **** and ***** I’m just at a point we’re I’m lost I mean really lost that’s not a metaphor like most would think I’m honestly lost don’t no where to do I wanna do better however I can’t and yes I’ve tried doing it for my self just isn’t enough motivation I need something more I need someone otherwise I’m pretty sure I’ll be dead before to long because I’m pretty sure taking 10 percs with Xanax mixed with 20 grams of blow hot railing half a g of **** drinking a little of ghb and a bit of mdma is a pretty deadly concoction but yet here I am mixing narcotics together like a 70s rockstar