The things I'm good at
are sleeping
failing
falling
moping
around.

The things I'm bad at
are living
laughing
dancing
standing
still.

I don't know what to do now
I don't know what to be
the feeling of frustration
is taking over
I'm drowning in doubts and uncertainty
but that's what life is supposed to be
Messy.

I didn't realize how sad I was
until you told me you were leaving
not because I like you
but because you are my friend.

I hate goodbyes
I hate hate hate not being able to look people in the eye
I don't like it when people lie
but I hate it even more because I know I die a little inside.

******* for making fun of me
I asked you repeatedly
Does it make you happy to see other people cry?
And continued on with your lie

I guess now I know I appreciate honesty
and friendship that doesn't revolve in tomfoolery
so to put it bluntly
I am ****** and you are an *******
so don't talk to me.

I run
because I forget in the first place why I do
I run
because I can't stop thinking "why do I even breathe"
I run
because I think about you and me then back to me then back to you
I run
because of the silent scream in my head that needs to be suppressed
I run
because there is so much hate and love inside me
I run, I run, I run
far
         far away
                          even if I stumble
                          even if I get scarred
                          even if


I run.

I just want to run away
to a place
where no knows
me
I want to hide at a corner
where I can
just be.

I don't want to enclose myself
in the prison that I have created
I don't want to keep on thinking about what has not even happened yet
I don't want to restrict myself to what is comfortable
I don't want to regret not exploring the "impossible"
I don't want to look back when I'm old and just say "it was okay"
I don't want to be just there
I don't want to merely exist
I want to be more
I want to do more
I want to live.

Just give me a little clarity
I've been holing myself in this four corners
I am sick of thinking of the possibilities
I feel like I might just implode
Just give me a little clarity
And
           Save me from this Madness.

I lose track of how much
these thoughts
         can
consume and destroy
                                       you.

Eyes too blind to see
that you're losing yourself to him

Where is she?
the girl with big dreams who said she doesn't need anybody

I guess love means to destroy
don't be that kind of girl

Who will crawl after she falls
save yourself while you still can

because when all else fails
who will be with you until the end?

I sleep and dream of you
some stranger you are
out of reach
only your shadow can be seen

Someday I will know you
or perhaps I already do
maybe a little light
will help me see

the person that I always wanted to be.

10 am: rise and shine
12 pm: let us dine
3 pm: sweat it out
10 pm: lights out
(repeat)
the clock keeps on ticking
and I'm still here right where I was
after May 27th.

I've grown a year older but
not sure if I'm any wiser.
Still prefers night to day and
sunrise over sunsets.

The 15th of May will be
D-Day
whether I get to fly or fall
from the dream I've been living in
a cycle of waiting
the alarm will blare
                           (soon).

I sat on a blue colored swing
pushing myself up so high
as if I can touch the sky
jumping of my seat
dust gather around me

Sometimes I wish
that I remained naive
free from the troubles of this world
but once you lose it you can never have it back

Now that I'm back, sitting on that swing
it no longer moves in many ways
it goes back and forth carefully
afraid that it will break
afraid that I will break
afraid always afraid