September 5th 2018, Dear Diary i'll say as I start a fresh page
Tap tap goes my finger on my desk
Flick flack goes the pen cap as i tap tap tap
What can I say im lost in thought
How can i feel about everything im just awfully distraught
September 18th 2018, Dear Diary same dance different day
I just want to feel a certain way
Is there any way i can break free?
Of this normal routine
The people here they seem sincere
Only to hurt me in the same exact ways.
September 27th 2018, Dear Diary now im just yelling at the page
Another hard day
Just too much of the same
Someone look my way for even a second
Just for today.
October 5th 2018, Dear Diary it's all just a blur
My head says one thing my heart another
My hands are starting to stutter
My mind is sound but my heart is a flutter
What do i do my life is confusion
Right now I just don't see a solution
October 12th 2018, Dear Diary a new developement on my stage
Theres just a sparkle in the rain
Someone different starting to look my way
I don't know what to say
Just lead with maybe and see if they go away
I just can't do it not right now not with who I am and what my life is about
October 19th 2018, Dear Diary same old same old
An occasional glance in my direction
But I go home to the same mess and imperfection
But you know I just can't let them go
The past is the present and it has kept hold
October 26th 2018, Dear Diary now im just lost
What was there before can be again
But won't history just repeat itself in the end?
The yelling the fighting the screaming the crying
All to just go back to the forgiving and forgetting
But even as this new road seems enticing
How can I bring someone in when my life is this frightening
November 2nd 2018, Dear Diary what do I do
My tears stain this flawless page
My writing choppy and dismayed
To him im nothing but im also everything
But to me hes something but I need there to be nothing
Then theres still this feeling with the new soul I've been discovering
Could there actually be something?
No absolutely not this is something I'm done discussing.
November 8th 2018, Dear Diary this time hes done it
I've had enough I just want to run
Get me away from this evil that be
I don't care who he was but right now all I see
Is this demon that's chasing me
Grab my friends we have to flee
Get me to somewhere where I can be free
Drink till the lines blur and my head stops making the decisions for me
November 3rd 2018 Dear Diary I really think that he loves me
But still I'm me this torn sheet of paper
This indistinct human this imperfect creature
I can't walk down that path not again
I'm filled with fear
"What if he's just like the others"
It was just a fluke just forgive and forget
You know that you belong in this trench
He's not that bad let me just go back to bed
November 11th, 2018, Dear Diary Just keep your head up and look straight forward
Still confused of everything thats behind
I don't want him to hurt
But I don't want him to see
That there are all these dark sides to me
People change
But then again they don't
If I don't take the leap i'll never feel the fall
I guess that's not so bad after all....
November 18th, 2018, Dear Diary, You've always been here
Through confusion and mess
Never been jealous
Never given me a second guess
Who am I filling these pages about
Am I ever going to let all this out?
Just one big split decision
I just don't ever want there to be a collission.
March 14th 2033, Dear Diary, It's been a while since ive written
I broke free of my prison
All it took was just one person
And a few years of them holding my burden.

It's 5 am im laying in bed
My heart feels as heavy as lead
Can I just write with it instead?
Can i project whats in my head?
Alright lets see if it can be said.
Lets start at the beginning
Its been 5 years and still no beat
I feel like my heart is concrete
My life is automatic
Everything is the same
It doesent matter if theres sun or rain
Wake up and dance do my thing
Why do i still not feel anything...
Pull up my phone swipe left and right
All this has done is maybe fill a night
Not fix the void in my life
Turn to the page my soul as the ink
But still all my heart does is sink.
Another day another week
What is this mess is all I can think
Why would anyone even give me a wink
My screen lights up
Notification recieved
Who's this staring at me?
Nah it simply can't mean a thing
Next day same deal.
Is what im seeing real?
Nah it cant be im the damaged goods
Can't you see all these cracks?
Oh wait I hide it to well
Im sure i look swell.
Alright lets see where it leads I mean shes pretty
Thats something anyone can see
But theres no denying shes a mystery.
Can i look around the corners of this bend?
See what lies down the road ahead?
"Im broken too is what she says"
This stoic person strong and tall?
There is no way that she could crumble and fall
But no it's true if you look hard enough
You can see the chips and cracks in her heart
Even though its tough
How could I think it was only me?
Im starting to see the cracks in her seams
Two people cold and broken
Each one cornered by their own emotion
I dont want to start any commotion.
Here we are talking each day
Relating to our individual pain
But there weird this is the more that we say
The lighter my burden is in a way.
Another late night
Another set of texts
All i want is her caress
Don't say too much
Don't overshare
Don't say you want to play with her hair
Don't kiss her
Don't say the wrong thing
That inner monologue still screaming
Can I really say something?
Is it okay to be rebuilding?
One night I tell her these things
And how does she reply to me?
My screen lights up
My heart tenses back up
Her reply is something i couldn't make up
Something that I would have never though to read
She tells me similar things
But whats most confusing
Is for all the beauty and good I see
When she looks in the mirror thats not what she sees
Its just truly puzzling
"Im broken im shattered, theres just too many pieces scattered"
That's no problem is what ill say
There has to be some way
I should know i've been broken enough
Wait why don't i feel as rough...
We are the same
Circumstances change
Im silently reassembling a frame
Take your pieces and fill in the blanks
You have already recreated my picture
I close my eyes and i see your face
You make my heart race
This old machine that was broken down
Now won't stop pounding or making this sound
Hopefully these words echo and resound
Hopefully you see you are found
Dont be scared to let your heart pour out
Your cracks can be filled
I have a new mold
You put me back together
Without even being told.
Was this poem for me or you?
Im starting to get lost too
I'll wrap this up with one more line
You are red
And I'm blue
What happens when you combine the two?

How can you show someone how you feel?
Would you take a pencil and write a note
Take a brush and begin to stroke
Graphite will fade and erase
Paint needs a canvas to remain
Ink however will never fade
It comes in many different shades
And is not confined to a canvas or page
It can take many forms whether words or an image
And can be written on any apendage
An arm or a leg is a small price to pay
An inch of skin to record a memory
To depict a thought or even a fantasy
This is how you've written your story
Your skin as the page
Your heart as the well
I'm hoping to become familiar with the author
I've barely begun the first chapter
But I'm hoping this ends in a happily ever after

When things go wrong why do they always say
"Oh honey don't worry it will be okay"
No it won't.
I feel like im scattered across the floor
Pieces of me like ceramics door to door
Making a mosaic of my life for everyone to adore
I feel like a janitor sweeping up my mess
But then someone comes along and tells me im an artist
With all these colors that I can make something great
What do they see that I don't?
When I look in the mirror all i see
Is these broken fragments of me
Then this someone comes back along
Rippling the scene
Making this glass swirl and change
I don't even look the same
All my experiences are there
But on my sleeve
"Now aren't you proud?"
Look at all you've lived
Out there for the world to see
"But now i'll be judged"
But what's done is done
I guess i'll just have to go on
Try and be who this person wants me to become
I go back and try to remember their name
And they shimmer away into the breeze
At that moment I realized it was me
All I had to do was shift my perspective