Trust is so hard to rebuild after it's been destroyed......

"Hey not bad, you can cry quietly while you pretend to be sleeping"

"And you thought you genuinely made her happy"
*heart chips and piece breaks off

whistles*
"There goes another piece of your heart"

I need to drop all my energy NOW the voice is back and I feel my energy flipping out inside

**** I think it is a demon, I'm getting nauseous and my head is starting to spin. I started hearing the voice while I was gathering energy for a little to stay awake.

"hehe hi"
Who are you?
"Just someone, you have a lot of energy and that's what attracted me"
Is that so?
"Yup, in fact I'm watching you right now"
But I can't see you

"She probably was doing her makeup for her boyfriend and they're probably on a date right now. Maybe he's getting lucky too ;)"

Well it's been an hour and a half and still nothing.....I'm gonna take a nap....

5 minutes after would have been fine....
10 after would have been too.....
It's been an hour.....where are you?

"If this is love I don't want it, please just take it from me."
"Why does it hurt so much?"

The memories that hurt the most are the hardest to get rid of......

"Upset m?"
...............
"Sad?"
...............
"Are you gonna say anything?"
...............
"Silence?"
*weakly nods head

silence*






Need I say more?

"The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red

Big surprise
Bears demise
Bleeding from his neck

Knife in hand
Bright red band
Bleeding heavily

Tears on cheek
Eyes can't peak
Closed, never to open again

Skin ice cold
No longer bold
Pale drained of life

The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red"

Sext: make me feel again.....stab me right where my heart used to be before it was abused

Sext: I want my knife blade to kiss my neck like you used to

Parents divorcing
Grades failing
Soulmate with another guy
Wishing I would die
In the end I sigh

"Oh M, you look like a wild beast"
walks over toward body
heavy fast breathing, blood flowing from cut across torso
"Your eyes are nice and glossy too, like little pearls"

"It's been a while since you've given off this much negative energy. This ominous aura that gives you chills............it reminds me of a demon's aura......it's dark and cold"

Sext: I heard you think veins are hot, let me show you mine
*slashes with razor

What's your favorite part about the rain?
The way that people can't tell the difference between the droplets that fall from the sky onto my face and the ones that form from my eyes

"Hah this is gonna be fun"

Why are you sad.....why do such large tear drops fall from your eyes...?
nibbles on bread
"I dont know..."
*tears drip off chin

"Put down the pills M, you've already taken six times the recommended, if you take twelve times the amount you're gonna die. You hear me? You're gonna die if you take that many!"

stares at pills through teary eyes

"Put em down M, you don't have to die"

If she picks him over me I do.....

"You're lucky you survived without any consequences last time when you took seventeen pills but these are pain killers. They will **** you if you take twelve. Don't do it M....don't do it"

*tears fall on pills

Will 3 times the recommended dose **** me?

"Don't let something suffer, put it out of its misery"
That's how it goes right......just let me die if you won't stop my suffering......let me **** myself if you refuse to leave him for me.......because while you're having fun with him.....you're killing your soulmate....let me die tonight......please......let all of my suffering and pain end tonight........

walks to cabinet
"Are you are you, coming to the tree? They strung up a man. They say who murdered three. Strange things did happen here no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight, in the hanging tree."
gets painkillers
"Are you are you, coming to the tree? *opens bottle Where dead man called out, for his love to flee. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight, in the hanging tree"
*swallows pills

"Tch, you idiot, you didn't listen did you? Now your heart is three fourths gone and you lost consciousness. **** it, now I have to stay out...what a pain in the ***."

"sighs you're heart is starting to crack more....you idiot, stop going through those things when you know it'll hurt you. You basically looked for the pain."

I know.......

"So then don't look!"

.......

*crack

"You idiot. If you keep thinking and talking about that your heart will start to crumble away again."

piece of heart breaks off and fades away

"See? I told you."

Why did I have to look at your favorites. Why did I have to read that one favorite. Why did it have to say you didn't think you would feel love after me but last night you were proved wrong. Why did I have to read it. Why didn't I just stay away....

I hope I die today

Sext: throw me in the dirt like you did with my heart

"911 what's your emergency?"

She didn't treat me like a soulmate

"Sir I am an operator for this emergency line, not a counselor or physiatrist. Do you have an emergency or not?"

Yes, she treats him more like a soulmate than she did with me.

"911 what's your emergency"

I can control my demon now

"Excuse me?"

I can make the mask materialize and show you

That sad thing is you're still with him even though you know he's using you. Admit it, he's your soulmate not me

You still haven't shown any change....your words still don't match your actions.....the only difference is I've changed. I won't hesitate to pull back my final chance I gave to you. If you keep taking me for granted, I'll find someone who won't.

What are those? Are they buildings?
"No, they're the walls"
Walls? When did they get there? Who built them?
"Obviously you. You are the king of this place, but you built those walls nearly two months ago. Don't you remember?"
I guess I forgot.....

I built my walls high and thick to protect what's left of my dying heart

How do you fix something that has so many large holes in it? How do you fix something's that's that broken? How do you fill the holes and cracks when nothing will stick? How can you heal my heart with love when it just seeps through the cracks and holes....I am broken. I don't think I can ever be fixed....

Are you scared?
"scared of you? Hah, not even close!"
Really? I am....
"What kind of ******* is scared of himself? That doesn't make any sense!"
swords clash
The kind that knows what they're capable of when they no longer have restraints....

I wonder how long you stay awake at night wishing you could take everything back you've ever done to hurt me. I wonder how long you stayed awake thinking about how you shattered every last bit of trust I had in you to take care of my heart...I wonder if you're really going to change this time like you say you are....or if it's going to be exactly the same as all the other times you said you'd change.....

You're essay was really sweet.....and I'm not rejecting it but...it's just not going to be that simple to get me back....it's going to take anywhere from 6 months to a year to prove you've really changed and years to have me trust you as much as I did when we first started.....I want to say those words again but I can't....not when I feel like you won't treat me the same way I treated you....I told you I had standards this time and that I hoped you took my words to heart....and I still hope you did....because if you can't give me loyalty, consistency, and thinking about my feelings before you do something, I can't accept you....I won't take you back....I know what my heart deserves this time and I won't let it get anything less than what it deserves

Gettin really tired of being stabbed in the back so often and wiping your spit off my face

furiously slashes
"Come on, come on, come on! You movements are so slow! It makes me sick that you're the 'king' of this place"
feels sharp pain in stomach
"You're not worthy to be 'king'. You're way too weak"
starts pulling out blade
"You're nothing.....
pulls out blade completely
....But trash"
blood sprays from wound

I wonder what you thought while I went on a "date" with her....I wonder if you were hurting....

"You finally know my real name....I've been waiting for you to be able to hear it for so long now.....

Sadness hits you like an ocean, it comes all at once and you drown in it.
I guess it's fitting that my names means dweller by the sea

"You really shouldn't mope around you know"
.....
"Hey you could at least say something ya know"
......
tilts head up and sees glossy eyes
"sighs you just had to die huh? I guess I forgot how fragile you get, maybe you'll be more talkative tomorrow"