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Blaire 4d
i have trouble finding the right words to say, i get stuck get sick an then lose the train of thought anyway. what am i supposed to say to you, it makes me feel so delicate. I want to know everything about you, we feel so the same but different. I never know what to say to correlate to what this is. To you i could just be a quick fix, something to take your mind off that other *****. But i wanna rewrite both our past-tense, "what im used to" or "Im so scared im going to mess this up and lose you." let me show you how i can really be good for you. Im a lover girl, an baby i just wanna love you :/
All these butterflies make my tummy sick, i ***** onto these pages, anything that comes to mind that i couldnt say when it was just you and i, some of these words so sickening it makes me lose my appetite.
Blaire Oct 13
They laugh when i wear a collar,
Ask if I'm a dog.
But they couldn't be more right,
Im feral,
I bite.
I foam at the mouth,
drool spills from crying so hard;
i can't tell whether my lungs are getting any air, in, or out.
And I whine whenever you're not around.

I love like a dog
Too loyal to be mad
Every time you put me down.
Leave blisters on my neck from pulling me towards the ground,
Your fingers gripping my collar to lead me on
And pull me around.
Id let you kick me outside if it meant i got to sleep in your bed again
Someday
Somenight

Anyone else gets too close and i bite
Only to be proven right
Every cold, ******* lonely night
No reply while you're out on a late night drive
Different ***** with her head out the window
While i'm chained to the fencepost,
Lucky if i even see you tonight

The difference between you and i
Is you talk when it's convenient
Whereas i would walk out a conversation
Just to try and start a new one with you


But they're right
Im a dog,
Who doesn't know the right time to growl and bite.
Blaire Oct 13
Your kindness was alien to me. the comfort of a man who I wanted so badly and way more than  a friend. I guess i need to let go
This obsession comes and goes, i hope to you i wasn't just another ***- everytime i leave the house i hope to see your car parked at the store, the hope you scream in my face if you ever grow the pair to speak to me face to face.
Everything we had is equivalent only days ago in my mind. i'm so sorry i wasted any of your time
Am I on your mind? Is that even something you'd still like?
Do you notice when I'm not around?
I dunno about you, but dining alone at a table for two i s even more depressing remembering the "non-dates" I shared with you.
Every nerve remembers the soft touch of your hands- **** a tattoo, id spend 80 dollars to see your face, your touch burned into my skin like cattlebrand.
I hate you for ever taking a hold of my songs, sometimes I wish I could take back everything I put you on.
but then what would i do with this playlist dedicated to you, that i still hope someday i'll share with you
i'd be lying if i said i wish my memory could be erased from you, i could say 10 things i hate about you but that's 10 too much,
you were a starving artists dream guy, i'm so sorry i never got what you meant by
"I really like you" or that you picking me up was for more than the chance to get laid,
so cheers to the memories of parking lot paint and thrift store dates,
This is goodbye.
No more, "hi you."
... not unless you want to.

— The End —