Pretend that you're OK
Pretend that you soul isn't dying
Pretend that you can be strong
Pretend you're happy
Hide your heart
Hide your anger and sadness
Hide yourself
Hide how you feel
Pretend your life isn't falling to pieces

I hate this I hate it, It hurts its gone
A missing piece, the puzzle forgotten
Thoughts and habits
The pathway is blocked
Deep inside I scream
Why is it this
Why can't it be that
Loneliness creeps in
Alone and confused
I wait and think
Thoughts always rushing
Bombarded with pain
It won't go away
I just wanna fix it
It's just not that simple
Drowning within myself
Trying to breathe
Catch it take it back
Hand slapped away
A fork in th road
But I'm still here
Waiting, breathing
Supposed to be strong
I feel so weak
Yet here I am
Waiting, breathing
Wishing, hoping
Fight til the end

I guess i'm still here, I guess I got lost
I'm still so reactive, I'm still so hardheaded
Nothing has changed, it's not me anymore
I'm not the same, but there you are
Screaming, twisting, controlling my actions
For my own good. you watch out for me
You're never wrong, so why this time
Why this moment, what did I do wrong
I tried to do right , I'm mentally exhausted
Worries scratching at the edge of my skull
Decisions and a thousand thoughts
Swirling constantly, and they never knock
My voice is hoarse, my tears are not drying
What's the point, broken heart either way
Stop, breathe in, breathe out
Listen to me, I'm always right here
You never shut up, always in my head
History repeats, lessons get buried
I can almost reach, I'm so close

The house is silent and I'm all alone
No one is here, it's so normal to me
Lonely every night, but not for love
Lonely in solitude, wishing for contact
No one is here, I'd like to go now
Silence
No one to talk to, now it's so loud
The silence deafens me, and I retreat
A beautiful place inside my mind
No one is here to pull me away
Racing with thoughts so fast
It beckons me, pulsing so loud
Silence

Shaundarel 2024

Breakdown rages
Mental rollercoaster in my head
Handle it **** it
Slow down the racing
Today is not the end
Tears will run
Already they run
Concentration fighting
Handle it **** it
What’s happening to me
Can’t stop my brain
I want to hide and cry
Somewhere in the dark
Solace is comforting
Handle it **** it
Vision is blurry
I can’t see through the storm
We have things to do
We have people to see
Handle it **** it

Shaundarel 2024

I hope you are okay
I know it’s hard to do
I feel your pain deeply
I hope you can believe in you
I know you can do this
I feel like something’s missing
I hope you know we’re here
I know you are strong enough
I feel your absence completely

Shaundarel 2024

Breathe in slowly
Close your eyes
Try to focus
Breath out
Listen to the waves
Relax in this moment
Breathe in again
Focus
Breath out
See your worries
Remember them
Learn from them
Breathe in again
Focus
Breathe out
You are stronger
Worries are temporary
Stress is temporary
Good things will come
Focus on your worth
Know your worth it
Fight for it
Don't back down
The fight is hard
Patience is hard
The end is worth the wait
Breathe in
Focus
Breathe out

Shaundarel 2024