The devil of distress here
awakened by your life
Grim pleasure
twisting your mind
The hell hollow breath you breathe
into me
I become as dead as my vice

There is faith in my blood
Cold hate that won't wait to
raise hell with my love

and I won't try to change your mind
I'll just wait for my fate
while you cry

I'll be fine for one more day
and I won't pray
I wont beg, for this life

This wine will be my mind
never solid, nor sober
a mess all the time

I won't pay to see this movie till the end
I wanted out, I chose sin
hoping a change in me would begin

I've no living sentimental cues
beyond jewels are finer areas
higher and just
and ive just become
another  
one of you

Ice memories burn like hell
and hell is frozen over
my mind with inspiration is so hard to find
always
when you're constantly falling inline

Lets drive tonight
to the moon

At first there was so much, then so little

It was no wonder why.  

I felt I was to lie

down

next to

dreams that'll die a slow death tonight.  

But I am born again through them in a new life

I am still alive, Aren't I?

My armor and arm and a roar
Tumbling down the mountain
Mouths sewn shut
    We just need to listen.  
No moral compass could have you brought here
But we have bared our own tears
  Mouths sewn shut
But we refuse to listen
Bludgeon pestilent leviathans with
Mouths sewn shut
It's time they listen to us

The virus is getting worse
But the worst of course is always
The first time
You really want to live
Maybe you'd do anything and Maybe you'd do everything and it still would not matter
It's more like a curse
Sometimes we fight to get through
Sometimes we give up
We've all felt that way too
Do you keep dying in your head
To humble yourself through?
I'd cling to someone if I had someone to cling to
But there is never a soul to be found
I fade away from that sound

Shapes a man in the wind
Blows contradictions back and forth for him
Never letting voice reach falsettos
In expensive red stilettos
Coarse is namely the objective here
Stupidity loves obscure
As we adhere

A callous temper flaring about
new Las Vegas diamonds
to my eyes
they are fixed, but just for me!

where your indirection led me to go
I sought hope in the structure of the cage
and the diamonds were real
but it matters not

After all of that 'being lost'
something was 'found' in what did not fit in
and the only thing I ever loved about myself was never
really real at all

The hammer will beat down
the ones who never forgave
The ones who did
will never be
forgotten
The **** you did
IS still so rotten////
You were'nt just a soul
you were everything and one thing
sought for something that means nothing
Do you feel it now as you disappear?
You disappear.  
you ******* disappear.
and thank god you're gone

Your memory sleeps with me tonight
And I hope you're jealous
Now that you left us alone together
In the darkness
We fell in love
Without you

Somehow these dreams
     Slowly start and stop the way I thought they'd end it seems
A frustrating, catastrophic way I played
    The game let me descend into despair at the beginning
And every
girl is always lonely at the end
But never lonely enough for me

There's nowhere I can go
No where I can run when I need to you to go away
In this mist
I can see the forest through the trees
But what I continue to see is that
every one should be Believed
Trenches of my heart stripped away by the excavating force
Should I listen?
Or should I just swim upstream alone all by myself?
I know I'll probably never get to sleep tonight
I'll need someone's
Help to make me make everything seem alright
You know I'm not fighting strong enough
Because there is no love
And something's always falling apart
Whether it be my heart
Or my old ****** car
I'll always be a friend for you
Whether you need me or not
We can fix what we broke
While I'm already so fragile now
Wondering what little I have left
And when it will all leave me behind

Take Your Pills, Take your medicine
Do you really make yourself
Better than you've ever been?

Trust in life is never promised
        And its the world that makes
you feel like it's not alright
perhaps grasp that
   The entire world is still in this fight.
  they all lose their minds every day
From minute to the next is another question
burning in your brain
Unanswered. Inadequate.  Now you must suffer
........the whole day.............
/you never get a whole day/

With every beat
The blood pushed into my veins
Chillling ice cold
Freezing me in place
As my eyes follow you
Down the hall
I can't believe that I believe in you at all
But I do
Watching you running down the hall
Running the wrong way
Never trying to stop at all
The cold is coming back again
I'm guessing you will not though
As I'm staring out the window watching you
Leave this town forever

His heart is still lost in the glittering of the rain
The billows of smoke would never hide it from his soul oh but
The tears would flow
The memory remains
His answer to a life bereft of profit
Is the answer to all his questions just the same

The sinister snare
The teeth clamped upon my flesh
The eyes
The baritone beat of the wicked war
The eyes
Of the beast
Six lies in
Six weeks
Six die  
And no one weeps
Shepard's proclaim that they keep
God-fearing men as their sheep
As I bleed to death
I see
I told six lies in six weeks
I am the sixth to die bleeding to death
In my sleep
I pray to no one for my lonely soul to keep

One day I feel like I do too much. The next is never enough and everything in between reminds me that I can't sail against the wind but I'll always find love again for everything I loved before I thought I'd never love again

A dead, callous soul addresses the pundits
Another fiction for the public to erupt
Never trust
And forget that there are those of us
Who still give a ****
And believe in a world where we can change the game
in the name of love

I don't know how I feel so strongly
That I am so wrong for everyone all the time
If I could leave this house for another home
I'd leave lonely and return to my old praxis on a dime

I could say I tried
That I am justified to take my own life
Impoverished and some how still alive
Angry all the time because the high is never as good as the first line

I wish those memories of my life would just stay behind
But I
I am so angry all the time
Because love is never as good as you pictured it in your mind

Your heart told me that...
I'll always be so unhappy
So angry
Until I'm gone
And that life's not beautiful
Unless you're drowning in despair

The mouths are closed
       Obedient proles
Destitute trials reap the fear we always know
    Treasure troves, a place for morals to hide
Willful to shift to an honorable life on this side
To a judge who cannot be faithful
To promise justice
For our lives
To kink the top brass
Shoveling food out of the mouths of peasants
And coal into the hearth for fire
Fire forging hate and manufacturing consent in the form of arms
But no alarms for my friends in high spaces
You have the aces
We only have our spades
We will grind ourselves away
Just a little a time, we die so disgracefully
In the garden of  disdain
Where the little people were too quiet

To rise above their pain

What do you think about the depth
          The proximaty of death  
How far I walked to hide my mess
The amarillo blood clot sky
Every day you die in a world where if I tried I could lie and say that it all worked out for me in the end.

Hello poetry I....don't always feel
Like I
Can relate
To anything in any form of creative
'But they say'
Expression is always the way
So I cut myself open
To feel again
Like someone or something that matters
Like money or fame  
I cut my heart wide open to stain
To see myself in my bloodiest
Way again
Like rose petals with stories of
Little white smiles of
People faking their fifteen and pay
While I dream
Some day I could make it over that cuckoo's nest
And finally be me again

Eyes are ******
   They see dreams that are gone
And I'm forgetting what is in between
The beginning of the end of my life and the end

The stars never hurt for who you never got to be
and the chains never fail or so you always believed.  

A night could last forever and tomorrow only be a dream
I died over and over again
just to break the seams of this straightjacket
just to be
if only for a moment
happy, and free

Love is no ****
but its a drug
no love is no love
a drug is one
and it is the other
drugs are okay
if you get them from your lover

like angels strapped to the arms of an electric chair awaiting their invisible fate
We anticipated our pain
One black moon shows the world that the universe exists regardless of our blindness in the dark
What is beyond the all-encompassing?
Nobody knows when nothing really matters
No one can think about the future when you're strapped to the chair

Take your self away from me
     But let a little bit of you fall on my wing        
          Disappear in my feathers like whispers in the wind
             That's what you mean to me

What little faith
fell from eyes
and lay dead on my skin
hoping to be reborn in my heart again

Bullets fly
Our favorite death
Is the one we die tonight
And we're out of control
Cause I can't tell for certain
If this life is the life I'm really living in

Blood and Vice
A
Misunderstood symbol
For
A
Hand dipped in wine chilled with ice
My heart
And her eyes
Are both busy
Beating
Paths to our minds
While we...
Divine

The tall oak tree marks sudden death
The man whom I speak does not lay at rest there
He lies forgotten in the tomb I built with grief
Wilting Red roses for a broken spirit
And crow's gather for pools of blood
They no longer mind the taste of shame on the tempest tongue
And no one cries for vengeance
Death is that way for the lonely tortured soul  
May sympathy just die with the rest of the world?  
No one wants to answer this question, so I never ask.  
I paid my visit to the tomb with blood on my hands
I dropped the knife into the tall grass where no would find it
I would say that I'm sorry, but he can't hear me now
I tell myself, I'm going to be okay, but that is not true
I am the transformation at moonlight horrors wax poetic
But I am real
And I am not sober for this soliloquy
I am drunk with insanity

My cemetary
      is the burial of thieves
          My heroes who never sleep
   As the arrows FLY across their empty graves
TheyLiveOnAsUsToday