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Amrita G Jan 2021
“He doesn’t even care to keep the knowledge of her possessions a secret, not the least worried about it being stolen”
“What’s worse, is that everyone knows his treasure exists. It’s common knowledge in town”
“How long will it take to get stolen?”
“It’s a matter of days, if you ask me.

He was, however, smiling in the corner. He coerced the enemy into being his friend.  This is why he doesn’t actually disclose himself to anyone, because she might be misunderstood, like what was unravelling right before his eyes. This time however, the misunderstanding just helped him protect his real treasure, something he thought no one could possess because……………

What if you need to think a certain way to know something; and you can’t think that way without feeling or experiencing something else. If that’s true, so much of this world remains hidden in sight, and we don’t even know its hidden.

You can, to an extent, disguise what arises from material belongings immaterially. That’s what makes the key to your locked doors. The keys to your secrets and trust. Our experiences may dictate the way we feel. Look closer however, and there will always be these cracks on the edges of interpretation, these nuances in feelings, small differences that stem out into larger and larger branches until you have at your disposal- uniqueness.

So, here is a complex network of questions and possible answers deconstructed to portray different perspectives of personality, trust and secrets.

Let’s start with trust. It should ideally start with mutual respect and admiration.   Most things fade away, so in reality you are not trusting the other person, you trust yourself to be hopeful enough to believe trust will not wither through time, which is why it may seem like it’s your fault or centered towards you when you are betrayed of trust.

Even the reasons for choosing why we trust others is vastly different for each person. It goes to show how ephemeral our mind is at the microscopic level., almost like no one can truly know us. The reaction of others and their understanding of you may be an external input. But after that the interpretation is yours. And interpretation is slowly built over cycles of overlapping feelings and subtle thoughts.
Can we use this as a “key” to explore parts of ourselves whilst keeping them invisible to others? Can we recover old feelings or find out what means a lot to us, but we remain ignorant to?

Many things that matter deep inside, tend to have a personal lock, like an unspoken connection, or a bittersweet memory we like to visit. The most interesting part about these is that the key for some of these is unpredictable! Any future incident could somehow serve as an access to it, which is what makes personal locks so magical. No one can possess it because of no one, sometimes not even yourself, knows it's meaning to you. Such a key is truly unique, two people may go through the same thing, but for one person alone, that experience could serve as a key.  Here, an experience from the outside world can awaken memories, thoughts that we inadvertently treasured. It can, in a sense, almost transport us to a different timeline.

The phenomenon of getting goosebumps from listening to a piece of music (called frisson), and experiencing a surge of sensory feeling could be a doorway to some great things and could be a sign of higher levels of creativity. When you re-listen to a song you hadn’t listened to in many years, you can relive the time you originally heard it to startling detail. You may notice newer things about memories, be aware of nuanced feelings. Essentially, it becomes something that’s only yours, because you can’t predict how you yourself will be. The only key for such a secret is a unique reaction to an external input.

When you listen to this song, even ambiguously (not attaching it to any particular person or experience), even then when you later hear it, it will be infused with meaning. Why? Because the environment around you at that time possessed some emotional meaning, even if you didn’t know it. It became like recovering a part of you. Like recovering your own perspective on what’s in front of everybody.

Suppose instead of attaching significance, you simply create scenarios in your mind. You just imagine instances and do this repeatedly. Over time, the song’s original meaning will tarnish away. Such imagination gives temporary satisfaction, and even though one can imagine a variety of different scenes and emotions; imagination itself, feels the same. It does not carry any value by itself. It would seem that listening to a song a couple of times and then years later seems to be the world’s best time machine, but when we overplay it, and tamper it using imagination, neural networks get diluted and may not be serve as a very effective train of reminiscence anymore. *^


Mulling things over in our mind in loops can change almost everything about it- it may change a happy sentence into a sad one, a normal experience into a special one, and now these emotions that have been created by you, are like small filters that complicate further experiences.
Consider that two people go through the same experiences from birth. They may not feel each experience to the same degree. The second point is that subtler feelings are experienced by each of them. One may react more heavily, and the other may have auxiliary feeling in more magnitude than the other. Though these differences may be minimal at the start, these subtle thoughts become triggers, just like the initial experience.
Look at what’s happened. Now the seed of subsequent thoughts and emotion is no longer EXTERNAL. Its internalized. As they grow, though material interactions give rise to initial waves of thoughts, our lives are culminated by infinite intertwined feelings and emotions- so for each material interaction, a hundred immaterial ones are processed subconsciously. A symphony can’t be broken down to violins, piano, and drums separately. The feeling that arises when they are played in unison is simply “different” though its just a conglomeration of its parts. This is similar to our mind, and the concept of “The whole is greater than its parts”. What’s more is that the thoughts occurs in different order, and a different order creates a different story.
The concept of “personality” is viewed as abstract sometimes”.  Like character is something that describes the mind, rather than the experience. But this is contradictory, as “Personality” is immaterial, while the experience, the derivative, is material. So, there is a possibility that during this invisible conversion process, our internal reactions and what we make of things in our mind may gradually shape our personality more than the experience itself.


In a strange way, that makes us original. Perhaps not completely original, but it’s possible that no two people are the same, even if they have gone through the same things.
But since the development of originality is subconscious, let us look at conscious examples to put it into application:

Often, there is a part of a song that appeals to us, a favorite part.  When we ask ourselves why that particular melody appeals to us, it may be hard to pinpoint the source of what produced your liking in that part.  Sure, it may mean something like “freedom” or “joy” of remind you of a memory. But why does it mean a specific emotion to you? This is an example of how something that has no direct connection with a memory could possibly trigger a feeling. This is a magical occurrence. It’s extraordinary that a melody can awaken in you a unique emotion, that others may not react to in the same way. It goes to portray how subtly different our minds are. Furthermore, when we create things out of that feeling we derive from the music- make a story based on the feeling, write a new song, or even play it on an instrument- now you have made something that is unique from the depths of your mind. Your own subconscious interpretation.  
Frequency of frisson was positively correlated with overall Openness to Experience, as well as five of its six sub facets: Fantasy, Aesthetics, Feelings, Ideas, and Values. *This may also mean that extensive feeling, or sensing is related to creativity.

Sensory influx, the visual imagery, nostalgia, all point towards creativity, and many renown creative geniuses draw on their sensitivity to fuel creative processes.

Highly sensitive people tend to be more creative, as the depth of feeling offers scope for exploration. The interpretation and emotion felt greatly corresponds to the creation of ideas, and is similar to how interpretation even creates association between senses, or synesthesia.
Infact, drawing on nostalgia can increase imaginative processes


You might have heard of the term “synesthesia”, where sensory experiences get interconnected. A person with grapheme synesthesia, for example, associates letters and numbers with colors. A person with musical synesthesia sees colors effuse out of musical notes. Some synesthetes taste words, smell numbers, etc. It is also a fact* that Synesthetes don’t necessarily share the same sensory experience-though there are commonalities ( ex: most synesthetes associate either black or white with zero), the difference in perception is linked to the environment of growth, childhood*, and if its occurrence is natural, then synesthesia is developed in childhood or at birth.

A Symptom of synesthesia is also reading sentences that seem personified, as though a stranger with different personalities are narrating them. It is interesting to relate this to how there might be different personas in our own head, and sometimes constantly make commentary on our life! It’s like seeing yourself through different perspectives, except these perspectives have defined forms, which makes it easier to assign little quirks to them. If this helps us sense and perceive the world better, and makes us see through multi-colored glasses, it can be very creatively satisfying to have internal conversations, in a positive and uplifting way. We can be a stranger to our own experience, and wouldn’t a change of view be enlightening?

Synesthesia also, may be linked to creativity and metaphors, * and is in a way a example of consciously coming up with original sensory interconnections, a creative process that becomes part of character.  It's connecting something unrelated and different, and an original combination of connection.

So the rearrangement of feelings, and extent to which people sense and feel can contribute to original creations. It is no surprise that many artists and musicians have synesthesia.

Such experiences, with music, nostalgia and conditions like synesthesia are examples of a how we interpret and sense can consciously contribute to originality.


The bottom line is that synesthesia obtains its roots from childhood, but morphs into something complex enough to blur lines of emotion. The proportion of how things are mixed is unique. That proportion is the starting line for all character, and the proportion can be random and unique.
Thoughts feel so diverse and interwoven, that experiencing different facets of it itself can seem synesthetic. Seeing a neon sky, for instance, may not just bring happiness or excitement, but very specific sentience, and a connection to memory, even if it has never been a part of your life at any point of time. The neon sky could mean regret and eccentricity, and flashes of senses may correspond to it. You may feel the aesthetic of a place to strange degrees, and sometimes a simple scenery can seem “wrong” or “sinister”.


  “Why does the neon sky seem eccentric?” “why are roses connected to a past memory that had nothing to do with roses?”

These questions have some intangible meaning behind them. So, it’s not just that people perceive things differently, it’s that their reality itself, a culmination of perceptions is unique, and so are thoughts. And don’t thoughts and ideals shape character in some way? Don't these interpretations become a part of you? A filter for how you perceive the world?


Some song forms a golden thread link with some intense feeling which is connected to a memory you never knew you possessed (this memory may be fictional even) which is linked to a whole little city in your world.  Everything means differently. And as we think and think, these meanings become fine-tuned, and create emotions, thoughts and perspectives that shape our individuality. The essence is that your character may have obtained its roots from the world, but your proceedings, both on the inside and outside, are truly yours. And gradually, proceedings reflect character. More than the roots. It’s a many layered mind that could seem impossible to strip down.

Memories can be similar, but the sequence of memories and thoughts, will likely not be the same.


Here we gently skim the daunting surface of the philosophical idea of “Fictional realism”. A main idea here is to try and question what the definition of something has to be to be considered real. We say “It was a dream, not reality” But did it not feel real? When we read a book, or a movie, and voraciously delve into fictional landscapes, does it not truly feel like we are integrated into it, or rather, it is integrated into us? In that case, since we are real and it is now a part of us, can it be real too? Or can it be real, simply because it exists in our minds? Love and loathing also exist in our minds, but we regard them as a real thing, pulsating with its repercussions. Do we regard something as real only if it has a scope for action? Or if it’s something we can touch or see? In that case, the world will be limited, and there would be a loss of explanation for what gives rise to those actions. It would be like saying “imagination seeds reality”.

Memories and thoughts can be similar, but the sequences of them, even if  slightly  different can grow to be hugely dissimilar. If we can consciously create things when exposed to sensory information, why can't we consider the possibility of subconscious creation of individual character?
141 · Mar 2021
Untitled
Amrita G Mar 2021
Even what seems logical, and axiomatically derived, has that spark of understanding that is the source for a certain type of potential to create abstract links.

You'll find yourself on the brink of logic, feeling, intuition , memory and meaning. You'll find yourself overwhelmed.

The universe inside demands abstraction.







.









.
105 · Mar 2021
Abstract
Amrita G Mar 2021
Something inexplicable occurs- two or more aspects  converging, the lines blurring, a rising, blazing emotion, metaphors condensing to make sense, intuition screaming to be heard.
The beauty of abstract. A glimpse at creative transcendence


The conception of an idea concerning different phenomenon, and finding a unique link  glowing like a magical revelation. This can make you feel like you trespassed on something you found, or even created.

When these mysteries and questions occur to you, sometimes you connect things out of feeling, intuition. It seems obvious to you, but you can't explain why yet. We need to work backwards- conclusion to derivation, whether this is art or science. You put yourself out when you create something that connects things using emotion and internal symbolism. These strange combinations you made therefore are beautiful, simply because of the way they were conceptualized.


This is what happens when you experiment with sheer randomness, when you apply one philosophy to another, make a paradigm stand for something completely different.
you have been imaginative enough to have played with the material, the immaterial and create new patterns, colours, and states of the mind.

You have invested in what may border on eccentricity, what seems devoid of logic to others.Two words you connected in poetry, that now has an entire world of sentiment attached to it

It all starts with why. Applying this question to anything in the world, and drawing on what you know. Considering possibilities and contrasting them to with you observe. Most of all ,you try letting your imagination run wild, because it has a right to.

Art and music, science and poetry, all of these fields are vastly different but the sparks of abstraction are always there. The Eureka moment can simply be a vague feeling with no defined context. But it's still there, and our ability to create things, our own innate wisdom, always has an effect on the world, however miniscule.

Even what seems logical, and axiomatically derived, has that spark of understanding that is the source for a certain type of potential to create abstract links.

You'll find yourself on the brink of logic, feeling, intuition , memory and meaning. You'll find yourself overwhelmed.

The universe inside demands abstraction
91 · Jul 2020
The unsettling mistake
Amrita G Jul 2020
Mankind's vicious cycle
Never ceases even to take
A single breath
A moment of reflection
As blood falls
Draping the hard ground
Like the ruby hilt
Of a gleaming sword
That is driven through the mind
Without mercy
And leaving the heart
In all its purity
Perfectly intact

As they rage
With their ferocious demeanor
Their countenance
Focused on the allure of the shine
But not the gem itself
That lies deep hidden
They crave control
That beckons out to them
Control over their vices
And over other's virtue
The tears, and the cause
Are now indiscernable
From the sweat, and the effect
Mutilation
Of something precious
That did no harm
But for its beauty

They fight
With greed
And lust
For a better life
A life with honour, dignity and grace
Empowered
To take it all
From themselves
And from innocence
Anger is a powerful tool
Blemished outrage
Tainted appall
With basic human instincts
That are predators
Watching it's prey with steely eyes
Preparing for the hunt

Soldiers, warriors
Attack, defense
To oppress for glory
To unflinchingly cut off
The burning entity
Of real, opaque lives
Wars are fought
In raging tides
Of an ocean
But a few feet deep





Earth cries in dismay
Where is righteousness?
Has empathy become
A mute victim
Of your endless tyranny?
Can you gain trust
By stealing it from another?
Can you win a war
By celebrating cruelty?
Can you be aquire power
By sacrificing love?
"No"
They say
The blood is on our hands too
We watch , raising our voice
Like thunder in a storm
But the lightning has already stuck
Indelible damage
Is etched
Into the arms of generations to come
It started with a mark, vague and blurred
But it was always a poison
Running in our veins
Slowly consuming
With insatiable hunger


Trust us
Rely on unfazed kindness
Of people
They have a spark
Of humanity
An edge
Of lingering compassion
Like a field of marigolds
In spring
Fragrant, beguiling
As yellow as the sun
The glow of which is
Culled by caves of character


"I told them
I warned them
That humanity is undefined
And that history teaches us prescience
If we are careful enough to see it
If we observe not just the glimmer of the leaf
But the dew drop that carries it
Which came from the storm
The night before
It is foolish
To fall in love with the silhouette
Without realizing
That it's a shadow
Of something else
To admire a rose
Without feeling your hands bleed
See, the vileness
Of hate
Greed
Loathing
Will one day
Approach with stealth
And as painful reminders
That even putting justice in
The hands of people
With goodwill
Is a soon to be crime"
So I looked
At the fallen warriors
Yet again
"Look at what you have done
By trusting people"
91 · Jul 2020
Smoke
Amrita G Jul 2020
Smoke

It started with a fire
That you ignited
A crime of ignorance
A deed of selfish fear
And you watched it burn bright
Fed by cruel rage
And the intoxicating breeze
Of your blindness
To what you have burnt

As you see the ashes
That are black, and dead
But not lifeless
You can still hear it
The flicker of the flames
The noise you ignored
That kept begging for help
You are slowly paralyzed
Not yet realizing
But not blissful anymore
The storm didnt come
To put out the flames
Nature, transcended
In ferocious glory
As blood red sparks
That maimed itself
And all Lovely blossoms along with it


Now the smoke
Black as a night sky
With no stars
And like your fear and loathing
Of yourself
And grey like clouds
That drape the moonlight
In curtains of desertion
Red, scorching
Like tasting blood on the tip of your tongue
As flames cascade down your throat
Choking out in pain
Faded green
Like the stench of death
From a drought struck lair
A ***** brown
Of all emotions blending into
The chaotic state of your mind
That keeps you awake
Always

Burning, blunt blue
Deep, and sacred
Shameful
Of maladies contained
Within the tears that well in your eyes
Which make you see
Through crippling water
Everything is drowning
Swirling, disfigured
Even the smoke morphs into you
Consuming your mind
Hammering your soul
Bleeding out your conscience
"Stop!"
"I can put out the fire"

The smoke becomes lighter
Till it's a blinding white
And it finally lets you see
Just for a moment
The damage you wrought
Upon yourself
And the things around you
That deserved to flourish in earthly grace
Just for a moment
It lets you know
That no matter what you do
The fire has burnt
Nature has done it's work
It has already killed the forest
But not it's love for it
And now
The smoke won't subside
Because it has nowhere else to go
Except to thrive in you
Suffocate you
It's only fixation
Because the you let the flames grow
Not for a second
Or a minute
But days
And days
Revelling
And so the melody, sad and beautiful
Will play
Haunt your mind
And the memory of the forest
That was never yours to begin with
That tiny moment of clarity
Where you and nature fathom alike
Is the only relief you shall have
Before the guilt envelopes you again
88 · Jul 2020
The chorus
Amrita G Jul 2020
It's easy to get lost in the chorus
Within the multitudes
Of echoing voices
Reverberation of instruments
Harmonies and melodies
That blend into one another
With the perfection
Of the ruby sun
Sinking into the deep blue sea
Amidst hues of orange glory

It's easy to dissolve into the utopian music
And not in the sound
Of the soft symphonies
The eccentric disposition
The serene style
And the eloquent expression
Of each voice
The turbid power in emotion
Of each other
That all merge into
One equanimous embodiment
Like the patter of the  rain
The roar of thunder
And the mute lightning
Reform into a tempestuous gale

It's easy to lose ourselves
In the beauty of a bleak ballad
The richness of the voice
The faded love of a violin
The gentle caress of a piano
Or to dive
Into the polyphony of them all
Like trusting the wind to carry you
From the edge of a precipice

Does the chorus make you love
Feel, cry,  and hate
Or does it underwhelm you
The desire to use your own voice
And portray the character in it
And revel in the song
That you sing from your heart
That belongs to no one but you

Deep down
Somewhere in your soul
You are both the chorus and the lead
You can listen to your own sound
And find grace in another's
And there are many parts of us
That are two things at once
Not black and white
Not good or bad
But strange and lovely
But we veil one
Either the part we resent
Or do not comprehend
Or the part we created and hold dear
And afraid of it
Being robbed away
Along with a piece of you

And even your demons
Your fears ,and affection
Your past that haunts you, and invokes memories
The future you dread, and are curious to see
The truth you need
All the volatile colours
Flowers blossoming
Sunbeams cascading
Fear suffocating
Birds chirping incessantly
Waves thundering with aberration
All of them

Pause
In time and space
Just to enjoy the music
For one moment
Becoming tranquil
This poem is mainly about how music, in its simplicity, and beauty can resolve countless things in your mind. Not only is music a universal language of people, it is also, in some ways, the universal contant and the voice of reason for all different aspects of yourself.

— The End —