I’m flooring my feet to control my balance,

my head is wrapped up in paper mache,

hiding my fears with tears,

say something to me I wanna know,

if there’s something,

you have to show me,

I’m doing just fine,

I’m still standing,

I’m feeling okay,

Not sure of my way,

or my direction,

but I,

I will be fine,

I’ll conquer me,

and all of my faults,

so just hear me out,

rescue me if I ask,

tell me secrets,

and help hide my past,

say something to me I’m trying to hold on,

I can’t help but place everything as being wrong,

my life is shattered into a million pieces,

Lord, God, help me I’m praying to you,

Say something don’t give up on me,

Give me reason,

to help me believe,

my faith is shaking,

my legs are rough,

say something,

so I’ll be fine.

Not even the moon could see me,

twisting and shifting drowning in changes,

so fast the wind just gave up,

I was in mourning,

lost at the rage buried deep inside,

ready to burst out,

give me a ******* punching bag.

I’m sitting staring at faces so unfamiliar they don’t know me,

no stares no afflictions or brief awkwardness I am alone,

surrounded by souls that don’t know I exist,

please someone say hello,

someone needs to read my palms and tell me my lifeline in so that I know I’m needed,

I know what my worth could be but I need purpose to believe in because I’m struggling inside,

I feel like crying constantly in corners facing away from a society of glances from strangers,

I walk in circles and circles and circles trying to find direction for my future,

I’m being mislead by life’s curriculum and I feel like I’m above average in general miseducation,

I’m screaming silently help me!

I don’t want to deal anymore but I want to hold on if not for my sake then for those that need me more because I have to believe that in order to be,

How could you all not notice me, I’m yelling internally, I’m jumping and prancing in the bathroom away from everything not even staring me in the mirror,

I’m closing the doors before I open them so that I can never hurt again,

I’m avoiding chances and taking backward leaps to make sure that I can’t be touched, burned, or disturbed,

I’m going to find me first because I don’t know who the **** I am anymore,

I’m not even sure I ever knew which makes this challenge even harder,

I don’t even see it as a challenge because if I did the semantics would take over me,

I equate struggle and failure with success and greatness because I fail at all,

I’m reading my mind closer than ever before making sure I spell out my intentions to myself before I take one step out the door,

I feel as if I have OCD making sure that everything feels 100% right and if it isn’t I will not move,

I will not progress and maybe even digress to fix my missteps from prior years,

I don’t know where to go from here,

but I guess I’ll start with whistling and whispering in someone’s ear.

I have a lot of pain left inside me and if I don’t come out with it it’s going to be the end of me,

I’ve left crying the last resort and giving up is what I come to at the shortest end,

I’m not sure of what the **** they want me to say,

Ask me simple minded questions and I’ll give you an okay,

I’m too busy worrying about what they’ll think of me,

How the words just fall off of my tongue so vividly,

I’m losing my mind so lividly,

Crashing to the depths of my mind on my own two feet,

No one can blame the innocent me,

That’s trapped up in closets surrounded by fallacies,

I can’t help the fact I know no wrong,

I know that everything is not so wrong,

Like me,

I’m here for everyone except me,

Put me first,

Love me, love me first,

I’m dying here with a love thirst, Love me,

Leave me,

I’m dying of thirst

I see it happening in all of the jumps and laughter of the little one,

He has been wronged by so many people and he can’t spell yet,

I can already see the anger and tears in his eyes beneath the smiles and warmth that lies alongside his innocence,

He’s finding outlets that society will judge and he’s already ignoring them when no one’s looking in pursuit to be himself to find heroes in this world who understand and won’t yell and judge,

He feels safe and home and in peace with the surroundings that bore him it is new,

So infatuated with subtleties that he unbeknownst to himself find solitude in joy,

The kid is outrageously confused, figuring things out that I hadn’t till the latter years and it is confusing,

It’s as if you know the future of the child already despite the choices and personality of the frail soul,

You know him in and out and the kid just wants to be a kid, have fun, and surrender to happiness and safety and home,

Well home is mobile, always on the move, home is fatherless with mother selling dope, home is little torturous yells that don’t ring with I Love Yous anymore, home is torn into pieces of I don’t cares, grow ups, and be a man,

Well if you should ever find yourself so unprotected, so delirious in thought that it pains in your gut and you can’t scream out with so much intensity as to bust a balloon with red, then say ok and move on. Say okay and move on,

Repeat the torture only in your head because you don’t have the right to live in abuse, you don’t have the right to be afraid, you don’t have the right to be misunderstood, you don’t have the right to cry yourself to sleep, but it’s okay not to be okay.