Why are so many afraid of me?
Why do I keep falling hard?
Why can no guy see it?
Is it because I'm just too easy?
What's the point in trying?
If the only option is failing,
How is everyone else getting it right and I'm the only one falling?
I love too hard I can't help it,
Which is why I should stay put,
But whenever someone wants to know me better,
I'm always misunderstood

Just a memory lost in the casualty,
Deepens the strings but let’s them loose much calmly now,
Cause every lose disappears less frequent now,
Cause I’m at peace with myself and with others now,
Like raindrops dripping down my face but the sounds are less frightening now

Short and discreet,
Most likely a short dream,
Telling me “I’ll see you soon” as the mysterious figure said in the white room.
Short and discreet,
Follow you in the dark,
Door slams shut,
You look back and grabbed me,
My breathing almost leaving me, almost touching lips,
I woke up with my eyes wide, with my body feeling like I just left cloud 9.
Short and discreet,
Walking in the streets,
Where a bright white flash passes my view and made me stop to think,
That there were people I was going to pass that seemed more like a warning…
Nope, was just a cute boy that I used to admire.

I’m a spirit in a body,
I hold my hands out and there it is,
Lit like a flame,
As it slowly maintains  
Not burning nor hurting,
just sitting and floating,
Just waiting patiently for my soul to stop glowing.
But it won’t.
Not even when time stops.
It’ll keep on going.
Cause no matter if the body’s gone,
The spirit will still keep moving.

My life is on pause.
Stuck in a fog.
Making bad decisions.
I’m a sewer that’s clogged.
Overthinking.
Overbearing.
Over stimulate my own flaws.
To make room for more claws.
Scratching its way to my heart.
To bleed.
To fall.
Like licking blood stains off art walls.
A canvas so finished.
There are no blocks.
No stops.
Head is filled with so much intensity that’ll make your head spin.
Break.
Even possibly shake.
But not as far to make you feel lonely.
You may feel guilty but you’re not the one melting.
I’m the one who has to figure this out deliberately.
Warmly.
Figure this out calmly.
I have to push myself to be who I want.
To move swiftly.
Through gravity.
Stand still or keep going?

Why is my body wanting me to stay here?
Viewing my visions in clear view,
My mind is so lost I can't see straight,
And yet here I am,
Blind as a bat,
Finding my way,
Cannot be swayed,
And all I can hear are footsteps blocking my way.

Nighty night the clock strikes 12,
My eyes still awoke in this warm blue cloak,
As I stare up high in the sky while my eyes shimmer like shooting stars like rockets,
The night is still young and I’m glad I’m still here to watch it

White hair,
Blank face,
Woke up in a white room with light space,
Waking up from a lost memory that I couldn’t remember,
The last thing that popped through my brain was a dark room in a dark place,
Which I thought was a vision but turns out that was my last life in a different setting,
Don’t remember after point blank,
Now I stare down at a round globe that looks pretty,
But should I stay here or go down there and start my new life journey,
White gown was what I was wearing,
I see a lovely couple in the waiting room wishing to have a baby,
But she wanted a girl and ended up with two boys, they seem a bit rowdy,
Waiting here is kinda tiring,
As I stared back down knowing I must make a decision,
But also knowing the consequences,
That if I start up my journey there,
It’ll all end up in tragedy and then I’ll have to make myself whole again,
By finding love again,
By finding peace again,
By finding me again,
That’s a risk that I’m willing to take,
Even though it might crush me inside out to be able to breathe again,
I’ll still progress the process within me,
To set free the real me and let people see what I wanna be down there in the greenery than being stuck up here and looking down at the scenery,
Now that’s a challenge that I’m willing to make possible,
Even though the world that I look at seems damaging,
War outbreaks,
Religious and race,
Stress building,
Suicidal and grace,
Liars and cheaters,
Loyalty and love,
Everywhere I’ve looked brought me more closer to God,
I wonder what kind of personality I’ll have,
What kind of traits I’ll discover,
What type of friends I’ll make or maybe become a loner,
Either way, it’s how I shape me or where my journey leads,
The life lessons that teaches me might crumble me and have me waiting patiently,
But realize that love breaks down every negativity that streams through each and everyone’s star dusted bodies,
I think I’ve made up my mind,
Cause there was a sudden bright flash that I had to bask in,
After that I blinked twice looking up to see the most beautiful of brown eyes and smile all covered in sweat,
And a name given to me while the nice women held me snuggled close for there was little room for stretching,
And then I fall back to sleep knowing that this part of my life was already beginning.

When do I give up?
When do I stay?
When do I ever call it a day?
How long do I wait?
or should I even wait at all?
All these decisions are making me quake.

How should I respond?
What do I say?
Can me and him really just be friends?
He is a loner and I am the same,
So how do we do this?
How can this situation be tamed?

Just be you and I'll be me,
And one day,
we will meet,
But for right now,
just do you,
and I'll swiftly follow a suit.

Why is writing less such a praise?
When writing more makes us gaze,
With undying eyes that is framed,
From an almost broken glass that is hanged,
To see what the other sees,
Through their eyes to ours is a crime,
Not even that we can obtain,
We can feel what the writer feels,
Off from a single page