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381 · Jan 2018
Sadness
Mehkai Figueroa Jan 2018
My life is depressing...

I'm always stressing to be the way others want me to be...

But I don't know...

if I should let the ink to flow from my pen...

I analyze myself, question myself...

Contemplate my actions and fears...

I am not very happy...

My experiences aren't clear...

My memories leave me...

No one believes me...

No one can save me...

The darkness held me...

I was forever devoured by this endless void...

The deception made me feel like my life was the only exception,

Exceptional moments made me feel dismay,

Maybe I need to let go of this....

I wake up everyday unable to move like...

sleep paralysis,

That's how I feel when I think about the world...

That's how I feel when I think about the talons,

Digging into my back,

From the predators who though I was weak...

And took that moment to attack me...

But as a matter of fact I don't care...

About life, about the world, about anything...

I'm done with all the hate and the lying...

I feel like letting out my anger...

But it seems like right now would be best for me...

If I was crying...

I will cry...

I will drown...

I don't know...

My heart is broken...

My trust is fading...

Like the light in my eyes...

As I breath one last time...

As I fade away...
228 · Jan 2018
I don't know's
Mehkai Figueroa Jan 2018
I don't know how you feel but to me life is nothing but a series of events intertwined between you and others,

The vines of fate move in between society

You can seek sanctuary in others but is that what you really want?

Sanctuaries are but temporary shelters,

What you really need,

I could ask you all the questions in the world and maybe you could answer them...

Maybe you could respond,

Maybe you have that knowledge....

But with knowlegde comes fear,

Fear that you don't know what you are doing, saying, living....

Fear that nothing matters,  because nonexistence is significant and existence is futile,

But let me tell you this...

What you really fear isn't any of that...

As you became more knowledgeable, you become more fearful,

Fearful of what you don't know

Because with more knowledge comes less self-satisfaction

As you are left wanting more... but needing less...

Needing less than what is needed because you only exist in the crevices of your mind,

Psychological, Analogical,

Your mind is but a place where your soul resides because your soul isn't in your heart,

I don't know how you feel but If I went to you and asked....

"Would you give up everything... for the 1 thing that means the most to you?"

Give up your life, your family, happiness.... friends... all that you have aquired over the short or long life you have lived....

Many would say yes... For all the love, power or money in the world....

They would give up the most important things in their lives....

But fear not... if you say no.... you have decided right....

Because all possessions may make you feel content for a short while...

but losing what you had will make your heart ache and pain more that before....

So when the day comes that you can receive anything for something as important as everything you have obtained over the course of your live....

I hope you take my advice... or just throw it away.... maybe even forget it....

I don't care.... I just hope your decision makes you feel content in the end...

But honestly, no ome will ever feel content or satisfied,

I hope you don't spend your eternity contemplating the decisions made...

All I know is if this question was asked of me,

I'd respond with I don't know.

— The End —