I tried to keep strong all day
Had some tears in my eyes
Pretended I was okay
Although I knew you could see past it.
Smiled when I came home
To see my pets again
.But first thing I did was get my phone
To know if you are fine.
I'm always afraid something might happen.
One kiss instead of two
Might bring death to you.
Always thinking
Nothing helps, not even drinking.
And I miss you. I miss you.
I kept strong all day.
But now I'm in my bed.
Without your soft touch
And your warm breath.
I'm so cold
Yet I feel like burning
Because panic is inside
And I can't stop crying like a ******* child

Looking for a bottle
Nothing here to find
Feeling the need to get totally wasted
Inside my head it's already a dark night

I'm on my knees
With a knife in my head
Waiting for the voice
To say I should be dead

Please dont say goodbye
Remember when you said hi?
It was the best day of my life.
Now it's me, myself and my ****** knife.

Living on the edge right now
I miss you and feel bad somehow.
Wanna to slice in
Cave in, **** the demon within.

And it's only two more days
Before I get to see your beautiful face
But it's too long
And I dont know if I can hold on.

But I know blood won't solve
It won't solve how I feel right now.
And death won't evolve
It won't evolve my life anyhow.

But I still wish for the knife inside
Slitting my wrist, nothing to hide.
Me in a box, carried away
On my own funeral.
I'll be dead soon anyway.

Knifes are still screaming at me
The light that shines upon them
Begging me to cave in
To cave in across my skin
Until the skin turns red
And the blood flows out, slowly.

The voice keeps whispering
That I should cut before he leaves
To prepare myself
For the pain and the loneliness
For the darkness that will talk to me again.

They say I should go
And be inpatient again
To torture myself
To tear my own heart

They even say
I have to lie to him
Just so he would leave
And I would be home
In the darkness of my mind
The deepest part
Only he has found.

And the fear is paralizing.
No more realizing
Of the happiness I found
Every time
His voice is the sound
The only sound in the cold room I'm in.

And some part of me
Wishes to save him
And another part
Wants him to save me
From my own dark cloud
The dark cloud, I myself
have made.

And I have to cave in
But I don't want to disappoint him.
But the voice won't stop.
And it's killing me from inside out.