I picked up a leaf today
on my walk home
it was yellow and red
among the browns and oranges
it seemed to glow

I lifted it from the crowd
thinking to bring it home
before then considering what it wanted
was it friends with the leafs surrounding it?
or was it like me, alone
waiting for someone to notice, to help?

I halted in my path
trying to feel what it was willing me to do
after great thought,
I decided it had friends to return to

placing it as closely as I could from where I took it
so it could be with it's companions,
I took photos to remember it's beauty,
promising it that I would capture it's beauty
in a painting
so it could always be remembered
so it felt cared for
even if I hadn't done what it had hoped

When guns are being shot
bombs being dropped
people screaming in pain
wailing in sorrow and desperation.
I lie in my bed
my feet tucked under the covers
to protect me from the imaginary monsters
the ghouls, ghosts and skeletons
the cyclopes with thick spiky hair
in pink, green, purple and orange.
Unbeknownst to me all these years
they werent hiding underneath my mattress
or lurking in the shadows inside my wardrobe
instead they sit in court rooms and offices
in conferences to decide the fate of millions
who they do not value
who they disregard without a second thought
they introduce the rules we follow
the values we believe
then they go out for a beer.
They bomb the countrys they think are dispensable
whilst dancing in a club
hoping we won't make a peep
yet even if we did protest
they know there's nothing we can do
cause we do not hold the power, they do.

the rain does fall
in good weather or bad
when the sun does shine
when the clouds are grey

even those who hate the rain
thinking it spoils their plans
they are delited too see a rainbow
dancing in joy at it's presence

I love the rain
it's always their whether I'm happy or sad
a constant reassurance in my life
which the sun could not provide

so when the rain does fall
whilst others look for the rainbow
I embrace the droplets of water
that have been gifted to me

I think we all want to be angry
something to scream about
an excuse to not be happy

I think we all are a little sad
deep pits in our hearts
rocks unswayed by weather good or bad

I think we all want reasons
that we feel alone surrounded by people
that we cry even when we feel happy

When I was twelve I first heard the voice
that dictated my worth

Although I waited for it to fade
it grew louder until it's all I could hear

Suddenly nothing else mattered
except these words it spewed

that told me I was not good enough
that I deserved all that happening to me
and all I did to myself

I was twelve when I first heard the voice
and it only now has gone away

tomorrow I'll wake up
a zombie
going about my day
in a mindless way

tomorrow my day will be like any other
except my emotions
which I cannot control while
living as a lost soul

how I wish I could be a zombie
emotionless and empty headed
no reason to overthink
instead I'll just have a drink

How does a keyring hold this many memories
it's looped onto my childhood
dangling not by the keys but the belt

It's textured but not really fluffy
its pink and in the shape of a pig
that wears sparkling disco ball shoes

Id give them to my friends
a momentum of our connection
my only way to showing how much I cared
as words were too difficult to bare