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Apr 2020 · 104
Built to Last
Shades On Inside Apr 2020
Through a foggy shame
A road that leads to nowhere
Not that I have anywhere to go
Or maybe I am running away
Pretty sure I should not stay

There's truth to every story
But some are fantasy
Move me if I've fallen down
We like to hold onto what we make
Faded memories I can't shake

All the time I hear
No more time to steer
Away from troubles that are your past
Some things weren't built to last

Roughed up down and out
Shaken and rather delicate
Drinking up to keep warm
Point at who's to blame
Wishing it were new it's still the same

All the time I hear
No more time to steer
Away from troubles that are your past
Some things weren't built to last

Broken glass, torched black
Scenes from youth, please no more
Do not call, Overcooked
Feel the line, Forsaken

Bored with all of this
Dancin' with life's razor blade
They say just turn the page
Or write yourself a new song
I just need to play along

Sunlight fades today
Find a road to somewhere
Not that I have anywhere to go
Or maybe I am running away
Pretty sure I should not stay

All the time I hear
No more time to steer
Away from troubles that are your past
Some things weren't built to last
Apr 2020 · 100
And Try Not to Say Goodbye
Shades On Inside Apr 2020
Oh these days are just lonely ones
Oh these days we sit and watch trains
Oh these days are just lonely ones
And these days bring terrible pain
And these days I know you know how I feel
How much we'll pay to cry
So we just lie down and think
And try not to say goodbye

Oh these days are just lonely ones
Oh these days there's no morning sun
Oh these days are just lonely ones
And these days you sit all alone
Hear their call-grit your teeth hard
And you draw those blinds closed
Listen to the silence in your room and mind
And try to say goodbye

It doesn't have to be that good
And no one really owns this world
Life isn't over just yet
Until his living is done

Oh these days are just lonely ones
Oh these days we sit and watch trains
Oh these days are just lonely ones
And these days bring terrible pain
And these days I know you know how I feel
How much we'll pay to cry
So we just lie down and think
And try not to say goodbye
Mar 2020 · 109
All the Way Down
Shades On Inside Mar 2020
Police cars, sirens screaming
There's no way gettin' through
A mob now gathers peering in
Panic stricken
Old boy blue
Shimmering glass on sparkled streets
Newspaper news comin' right for you

Whoa (drag out)
Looks like your world is crumblin' all the way down
Whoa (drag out)
Looks like your world is crumblin' all the way down

Bulldozers
Work til morning
Diggin' up thoughts goin' in and out
For a dream you'd lost long before

Public servants, two time cheats
The sun is setting into stone
On a plan you thought lost long ago

Whoa
Looks like your world is crumblin' all the way down
Whoa
Looks like your world is crumblin' all the way down
Maybe I should scream out loud
Turn these thoughts right into jail
Silver spoon
Here I go
As I watch my life burning on the stove

Whoa
Looks like your world is crumblin' all the way down
Whoa
Looks like your world is crumblin' all the way down
Shades On Inside Oct 2019
Her eyes are changing colors
But mine have always been brown
She's got soft kisses for others
Been knocked down since time began

A black eye and heart that's true
A black heart looking out for this
I get all jumpy when I look at you
Send my *** to the jailhouse again

I've been lookin' for forever now
In a room full of mirrors for my gal
sure is hell ain't how
I felt all this would go down

Just the thought of you my heart skips
And I think my stomach is doing back flips
I always thought you were the one
I knew I'd always get you back
But now that I'm here you're not mine
So I left again and you still weren't mine
Here I am again, please be mine
I'm so sick of fighting

I've been lookin' for forever now
In a room full of mirrors for my gal
It sure is hell ain't how
I felt all this would go down

She's a southern belle without a drawl
She's a good girl who ain't wearing no bra
She's the only one who has made me cry
She's so mean and I am too sweet

She's got the spirit of a gypsy
And a **** mouth I've never heard
She can't sing  all that well, see
But maybe she'll write a song for me

I've been lookin' forever now
In a room full of mirrors for my gal
It sure is hell ain't how
I felt all this would go down
Aug 2019 · 113
The Cause is Lost
Shades On Inside Aug 2019
Your vibrant eyes they cut me to my core
It gets so hard I can't leave you alone any more
You want to be here with your pain
Giving your love to someone who you won't drain

The cause is lost on me
The cause is lost on me
Honey, this cause is lost

There's too many people you used to show
They know where you've been and want to go
All of those secrets you had are now theirs
This place isn't yours, it seems only I care

The cause is lost on me
The cause is lost on me
Baby, this cause is lost

I'm sick of fighting
I'm sick of fighting
I'm sick of fighting for you

There's a place that you'd like to go
But you know you have already been there before
And there's no one left to pick you up
And no one left to fill your cup

That's all my love was for

The cause is lost on me
The cause is lost on me
Baby, this cause is lost

I'm sick of fighting
I'm sick of fighting
I'm sick of fighting with you
Aug 2019 · 201
It's Not Long
Shades On Inside Aug 2019
When I moved out to Colorado
I had a friend out there
Met my mountain girl, only I was a desperado
She had so much love to share
I took a lot of turns on that snowy mountain side
My heart just wasn't it
I wish it was for you

I tell myself that life just isn't very long
and I keep on moving
even when I hurt someone
It's just not very long

Then I met someone else, someone new
I very rarely got my rest
I stayed so high with you
I drank from your cup and did my best
You weren't ready
Going too deep
Nothing fit my soul
You needed lightness
All you got was something heavy

You tell yourself that life just isn't very long
and you keep on moving
even when you hurt someone
It's just not very long

Still looking for direction
This whole thing felt like balloons once
Maybe one day I'll strike gold
I know I will
Strike gold

Striking gold
I need someone (something?) to believe in
Someone to hear my voice
I looked at religion
But they don't give much of choice
I keep writing my own verses
And praying up above
Am I exactly where I am supposed to be
Looking for the one I love?
Aug 2019 · 133
Trouble
Shades On Inside Aug 2019
When the sun starts to show
that's when I know
I'm in trouble now
Oh man, I'm in trouble now

I smashed your flat screen TV
I let all your animals go free
I'm seeing double
and beggin' for trouble

Used to go to church back in the day
Now I don't feel welcome no more
Used to go to church on back in the day
Now I just sit outside and shout

Wipe my nose and steady my leanin'
I lied all about what I was thinkin'
Maybe I'll make it to mornin'
Just lookin for some trouble to get in

When the sun starts to show
that's when I know
I'm in trouble now
Oh man, I'm in trouble now

Used to go to church back in the day
Now I don't feel welcome no more
Used to go to church back in the day
Now I just sit outside and shout
Feb 2019 · 125
Dreaming of life and love
Shades On Inside Feb 2019
All these men who have loved you well
How do I compare?
I have no choice, your voice is ringing like a bell
Your beauty lost on yourself ***** out my air
Pull me in, let me hold you near
Your body is like an ocean
Deep and forever filled with life so clear
I want to dive in head first drunk off your potion

Bright are your eyes, brighter is your smile
Please take this longing from heart
Broken on the ground, I lay for awhile
My stomach turns when we are apart
Dreaming of life and love
Dreaming of life and love

I can see your dress falling to the floor
Do you whisper in his ear all your favorite foods?
Loving you may not be the right thing for me anymore
Wrap your legs around him, lights dim, set the mood
I am not going anywhere though, we only just met
Your spirit is like a search light
Beaming bright and looking for a path, yet
I want to find it with you holding you in the night.

Bright are your eyes, brighter is your smile
Please take this longing from heart
Broken on the ground, I lay for awhile
My stomach turns when we are apart
Dreaming of life and love
Dreaming of life and love

I saw you for the first time on that cold and snowy night
Did you know too that it wouldn't be the last?
I love to see you sleeping naked, laying just right
Especially from the back, these moments pass to fast
There's an uncertainty in you eyes that I know to well
Your mind is like a highway
Winding and full of surprises that you have yet to tell
I want to drive it with you losing the day

Bright are your eyes, brighter is your smile
Please take this longing from heart
Broken on the ground, I lay for awhile
My stomach turns when we are apart
Dreaming of life and love
Dreaming of life and love
Dec 2018 · 849
Dreams Like Whiskey
Shades On Inside Dec 2018
I turned this town into a cancer
Now movin' on's my only answer
My roots obstruct the exit way
You and I both know there's nothing left to say

I am making my daring escape
I'm sneaking out, my world I reshape
I sneak through the door, don not distract
I'm looking forward, never looking back

Our dreams like whiskey, better with time you see?
Rush the drunk, it's not the same
There ain't no heaven, not in this world
I wish you were begging me to stay

One day I'll write a letter
Just to let you know I am doing much better
Maybe I'll pick up the telephone
I don't know why, no way you'll let me come back home

Our dreams like whiskey, better with time you see?
Rush the drunk, it's not the same
There ain't no heaven, not in this world
I wish you were begging me to stay
Dec 2018 · 867
Bullshit Love Song
Shades On Inside Dec 2018
I know these feelings I have not shown
Now that time has past they have grown
Dear mamma can't you feel my heart beat
all alone

And I say please let's don't do this
We don't feel it
And all of the accidents
And we ain't curing this

Look at this beautiful spinning girl
She is lost in this ****** up picture perfect world
Some days I can I hear her heart beat
along with my own

And I say please let's don't do this
We don't feel it
And all of the accidents
And we ain't curing this

And all of my nonsense
And all of my recklessness
Please don't do this
We don't need it

This love ain't nothing but a ******* love song
I'll just go back to where I come from
Can't you hear my heart beat all alone?
It's just that all this feels so **** wrong
Oct 2018 · 127
Waste of My Time
Shades On Inside Oct 2018
"You were a waste of my time"
That's what she said to me
I don't want to see you crying like that
Not when I broke your heart
I wish I didn't want you back
But I loved you more than anyone else
And I broke your heart
I broke your heart

I'm sorry I called you
I wish I was with you that night
I see your eyes in the stars
But now when I think of you
I feel like the worlds biggest fool
I wish I hadn't made you fall so hard
Just like a shooting star
I broke your heart

I feel like a shooting star
There and then gone again
I broke your heart
Oct 2018 · 142
Half a Lie
Shades On Inside Oct 2018
I am heading down to mexico
and I dont know if I am coming back
tell mom and dad that I love them
I hope they understand that

I bet you think I am runnin from my problems
and to be honest you aint that wrong
but there's so much more to that now
The only thing is to move on

The truth only bought me half a lie
A fakers dream and an empty wallet

I am going through all these changes
and I am a degenerate, a complete wreck
looking for love in all the wrong places
What is it did you expect?

The truth only bought you half a lie
A fakers dream and an empty wallet

I sank into a bleak empty void
and I am grabbing at all these straws
keep your shiny side up so no one sees
pluging all the holes to hide the flaws

The truth only bought me half a lie
A fakers dream and an empty wallet
Sep 2018 · 137
The Spirit of a Drunk
Shades On Inside Sep 2018
We all want a woman who's wild and free
She's always naked when she comes to me
She burns bridges turns back and laughs
She done set fire to all my photographs

Cigarettes, papers, and empty cans
whiskey bottles, ******* mirrors, yeah she can
It's nights like these where sinners sin
But man she knows how to make it feel right again

She'll be shoutin' and she'll be screamin'
Making no sense or meanin'
She brings me sunflowers and a place to be
The spirit of a drunk and she holds the key

Some waded up dollars and a case of broken dreams
I said, "Baby, We ain't makin' it to heaven it seems
But I know for sure they'll be sorry in hell
Let's get one last trip before the bell

All my life I've waited for someone this true
I close my eyes and feel it brings me back to you

We all want a woman who's wild and free
She's always naked when she comes to me
She burns bridges turns back and laughs
She done set fire to all my photographs

She'll be shoutin' and she'll be screamin'
Making no sense or meanin'
She brings me sunflowers and a place to be
The spirit of a drunk and she holds the key
Mar 2018 · 198
It's Not a Guarantee
Shades On Inside Mar 2018
In time you learn the difference
between holding on tight
and sharing in spirit
You learn it doesn't mean safety
and it doesn't mean company
It's not a guarantee
and life's gifts are not all free

After awhile you accept defeat
with a head held high
eyes forward and on two feet
With the poise of a person grown
and not the regret of a child undone
It's not a guarantee
and life's gifts are not all free

You work and build for today
because tomorrows needs are unsure
and plans often will not endure
Decorate your world as best you can
Your soul is open and will withstand
It's not a guarantee
and life's gifts are not all free

You are strong and will persevere
it's worth being you
despite the scars and baggage too
Learn from every mistake and every hiccup
falling down is just another way of getting back up
It's not a guarantee
and life's gifts are not all free

Discover...explore...love...learn...and accept
that with every ending
comes a new beginning.
Feb 2018 · 159
I'm Losing You
Shades On Inside Feb 2018
I hear birds singing outside my window
I can't understand their happy tune
No more gold for me or you
The future doesn't look the same anymore

I grit my teeth and hope this doesn't last
I must learn to accept that I cannot change past

All the lies that I lived
All the fights we had
All the sleepless nights
I'm losing you

My heart is completely empty
And the sun is setting on us now
Sunflowers on our table slowly die
I have plenty of time to watch them expire

It is today that I bid you farewell
I can do whatever I want now

All the lies that I lived
All the fights we had
All the sleepless nights
I'm losing you

I look outside through my window
I can feel the warmth out there
I see the world I've been missing
The world has been missing me

All the lies that I lived
All the fights we had
All the sleepless nights
I'm losing you
Apr 2017 · 204
Four Years
Shades On Inside Apr 2017
It's been about four years now
Since I've seen your bed
Rest for my soul indeed
A little rest for my head
Always thinking about the possibility
Playing with life's razor blade
I think I lost it all, all the things I had
And to think I had it made

They ask me, "Why ya falling down?"
I said, "It beats standing up."
"Why do you feel so down?"
"Take a look at my empty cup"
Superficial friends as you can see
I've got nothing more
They took me in, I gave it all, and then they said "there's the door."
They said, there's the door"

It's been too long now
To even think about that bed
Ain't got my soul left now
Their pistols full of lead
I'm seeing all of the possibilities
Thinking about life's razor blade
I guess I never actually had the thing I thought I had
And to think I had it made
And to think I had it made

They ask me, "Why ya falling down?"
I said, "It beats standing up."
"Why do you feel so down?"
"Take a look at my empty cup"
Superficial friends as you can see
I've got nothing more
They took me in, I gave it all, and then they said "there's the door."
They said, there's the door"
Aug 2016 · 1.1k
I'll Wish you Happy Birthday
Shades On Inside Aug 2016
Empty room and doggy bones
Apologies I've lost them
Tomorrow comes today
Sorry it turned out this way
I see you sitting on the table
On a cold steel table
Quiet and peaceful, warm summer air

All the places that we went
You never missed
Busted nose and ****** feet
No one knew about that red stained seat
Here one day and gone the next
I was hoping today wasn't what's next
Wear your name around my neck

I'm sorry I promised you
I'm sorry I promised you
I'm sorry you're not coming home
Don't cry I'll wish you happy birthday

Holding hands with yesterday
My, how the time got away
Sometimes I am fallin' just to fall
Don't be afraid
This ol' world ain't for everyone

What's in a man?
Sittin' in an empty void
Gettin' up from your comfy spot
Lost in the parking lot
It's true you always tried
I wish I did, I wished I tried
Gone but not forgotten

I'm sorry I promised you
I'm sorry I promised you
I'm sorry you're not coming home
Don't cry I'll wish you happy birthday
Aug 2016 · 1.0k
Boo Radley
Shades On Inside Aug 2016
Twelve years ago on a cold November Georgia night
We drove to get my brother Josh a new Labrador puppy
He played with the dogs and carefully watched how they behaved
Dad whispered to mom, “Let’s get Joe a dog. Maybe it’ll teach him some responsibility”
“No Bill. We can’t do that.”
I remember playing with the litter of yellow labs
And you were the fattest of the bunch. Your loose skin bouncing as you galloped over
That night we left with two dogs instead of one I named you Boo Radley.
Though you were not shy, you became a monster of a dog.
Protective and mysterious
Often misunderstood by surrounding humans
But what do they know any way? It’s me and you Boo Man. That’s all that matters.
You were an enigmatic creature, always keeping me on my feet
I never knew if you were going to charge at the family across the street
Only to arrive wagging your tail and licking the scared little girls face
I left you Boo, only four months after I became yours I had to take care of myself, so I could be the best for you. I knew you understood.
You became mom’s best friend and companion
When it thundered outside she locked you in the bathroom to sweat it out alone
As any good mother would.
You were the only constant in her life that year. Always greeting her with a toothy grin.
You gladly shared your fur when her outfit for work needed some improvement
A year later we finally began what proved to be the most fulfilling relationship either of us could ask for.
Boo, I never heard a dog talk to me the way you did. Your vocal range was most impressive, and you were never scared to share.
I believe you were an evolutionary miracle A dog far more advanced than the rest.
You spoke to me every day about your wants and desires
Which mostly consisted of more food, more walks, and more swim time.
On nights it stormed I became the little spoon. You’d hold on tight, shake and cry.
The park was your kingdom, the water your domain
You’d let every intruder know that this was your turf and they were welcome as long as they knew.
You were a gold medal winner at the “Boo Stroke,” A slow barreling doggy paddle
It seemed like you took minutes before you arrived at that **** stick floating down the river
But without fail, the rolling water was no match for you B-Rad
You’d grasp the stick gently as to make sure to return it just as it was before it was thrown
Stick in mouth you’d proudly appear.
In your later years you gave up the prideful dominance.
You softened and became a tender lover, a licker, a constant tail wagger, a doggy trotter- not a doggy runner, an even slower swimmer, an early morning riser, a gentle giant, but you stayed my best friend.
You never wasted a good opportunity to stuff my socks or someone else's in your mouth. Or underwear for that matter. I will forever appreciate socks that don't match thanks to you.
You drove twenty-one hours in an over packed broken down jeep
Stuffed in the back next to bags of clothes and picture frames you followed me west
For the both of us it was our second chance, a second skin, to become what we both knew we could
We scaled mountains out of breath with ****** blisters and sore knees
We said, “Hell yeah! We love this.” Only to go home and sink into the couch for days.
Eventually, we learned to stick to the rivers and lakes that we were used to (Boo Man-Chu, sorry for the TLC reference I know that was not your preferred genre of music)
Boo Bear, you were my wing man and helped me convince a wonderful lady to join our family
You reluctantly learned to share the bed, although I am not sure you ever forgave me for that
You struggled at times to live up to the lofty energy level you set at a young age.
But you kept on. ******* as always.
You battled doggy anxiety, hips that failed you six years too early, and an owner who doesn’t know how to properly give a doggy haircut.
Sorry for making you look like a waffle fry last summer.
Yet, you were always there. You were consistent, dependable, and loving.
I could even count on you to show up in my lunch at work.
I’d smile, shrug my shoulders, think of you, and devour the hairy bite with pride.
Boo Radley, you were my rock and my soul. I only wish I could give you one last ear rub and hear that loving grunt one more time.
Best friend, this ended all too abruptly, all too soon. I miss you. I love you. I suppose the intensity in which you left my life is fitting for the intensity in which you came.
I hope to see you in my dreams scratching your back in the grass. I expect to play a game of fetch before you have to go.
I am sorry this happened to you, if I could have taken it all on myself I would. I love and miss you. Always and forever.
These words could not be more true. Here’s to you Boo!
“But in his heart he knows that sometimes a dog is as good as any man
Trying to do as we should
That doesn't always rhyme with doing what feels good”
Apr 2016 · 268
All Around You
Shades On Inside Apr 2016
All around you...

The moon is gushing tonight
Bright pale angel

All around you...
Stars sparkle and dance inside
Love for glimmering eyes

All around you...
Silver bouncing through the Milky Way
Big enough in the country

All around you...
Wide open spaces reveal
Lightin’ bug flickers

All around you...
Little neon tracer passerby
Smell the wind, dancing far away

All around you...
Tosses in the sky
Like a ladies dress

All around you...
Gently blowing past the tall grass
I felt like a child,

The presence all around you
And the power within
Hold it in your heart
Let it find you, Let it guide you
On your mission
Just to don’t deny, don’t deny
What's all around you...
Jul 2015 · 424
Told by Truth and Lies
Shades On Inside Jul 2015
Life is told by truth and lies
Truth that lives, but quickly dies
We lost the battle and I am gone
I was not found, but life goes on
Many looked and could not find
The brave soldier who lost his mind
I am all around you, but well concealed
The wounds I cover have not healed
Those graves I dug are very real
Sorrow for them you know I do not feel
They had names just like you
Their lives were strong and sadly true
Believe me my confession is pure
Though how many I cannot be sure
I wish to leave that life behind
But that life is now and so unkind
You do not love as deep as me
Yet, I can **** and quickly flee
Your heart is dark and full of lies
You tried to cover up with murky skies
My life is safe from ghosts like you
The blood on my hands is on yours too
The lies I tell you hold hidden truth
Look closely and you'll find the proof
Every story I tell I leave a piece of me behind
There are so many, myself I cannot find
But I remember that life is told by truth and lies
Truth that lives, but quickly dies
Jan 2015 · 321
I am...
Shades On Inside Jan 2015
I am...
a total disaster
an accident waiting to happen
a sitting duck
what everyone is looking at

So don't let me out
Something will happen
Keep a calm face
Try my best not to breathe

I am...
everyone's worst nightmare
something the doctors cant fix
exactly what you don't want to see
what's wrong with the world


So don't let me out
Something will happen
I keep a calm face
And I try my best not to breathe

I am...
not wrapped up neatly
covered in things you don't want to see
wrong and never right
a leach stuck to you

So don't let me out
Something will happen
I keep a calm face
And I try my best not to breathe
Dec 2014 · 355
Untitled #1
Shades On Inside Dec 2014
These days I don't ever feel my best
I am sorry but you know it sticks to my flesh
My life boat will burn before I make the shore
I am asking is there any room for just one more.

These days I've wondered what it feels like to be alive
While I am just stumbling along the riverside
Well, hold me down with a solid rock
I am starting to wonder if I can stop the clock

These days I think there comes a time
When we have take a good long look and see how we shine
At some point we have to let the whole thing go
I know this, we've already been bought and sold

These days I wish I knew how to play it cool
But I just sit here atop this old hill like a fool
You may think this keeps me up at night too
Funny to think, the opposite is true.

These days I feel all my deals have gone sour
I think I've used up my last hour
I don't deserve it and it won't be long
But here's my last words...
Oct 2014 · 412
Leave Your Shoes by My Bed
Shades On Inside Oct 2014
A heart that learns to love
Is one that doesn't fit the glove
I was sure I didn't need anything
Nothing I haven't seen

When I whisper in your ear
I know you believe what you hear
Cause you're made for me
And I'll pull you close and near

So leave your shoes by the door, we ain't leaving anytime soon
Til someone shouts for help and the Columbines bloom
It's cold in this place and there's no whiskey in my cup
So roll over, know that you're enough, and baby pull the covers up

Your faith will be put to the test
But I promise I am all that's best
I've got too many skeletons to count
No need to know how high the amount

So leave your shoes by the door, we ain't leaving anytime soon
Til someone shouts for help and the Columbines bloom
It's cold in this place and there's no whiskey in my cup
So roll over, know that you're enough, and pull the covers up

You're stuck in my mind, I can't get you out
This is something to write home about
Sorry there are some things you won't know
And there are too many things to let go

So leave your shoes by the door, we ain't leaving anytime soon
Til someone shouts for help and the Columbines bloom
It's cold in this place and there's no whiskey in my cup
So roll over, know that you're enough, and baby pull the covers up
Oct 2014 · 350
Pumping in the dust
Shades On Inside Oct 2014
I saw her late in an evening dress
I knew she liked to drink
I could see it in her face

Money, liquor, and lust
Will only leave your heart
Pumping in the dust

She smelled like cigarettes and *****
She lives down inside that place still
She said she didn't want to choose

Money, liquor, and lust
Will only leave your heart
Pumping in the dust

Can't trust anyone anymore
Can't look in the mirror to hard
Can't see what she see's in store

Money, liquor, and lust
Will only leave your heart
Pumping in the dust
Oct 2014 · 276
Sure of the pain
Shades On Inside Oct 2014
What's the good taste?
What's the good of sacrifice?
What's happened to your faith?
I'm sure of the pain
No need to push my drugs away

Where did my secret place go?
Where did I spend it all?
Where's my self control?
I'm sure of the pain
No need to push my drugs away

Why don't I have self-restraint?
Why don't I have a better space?
Why don't you save me, special saint?
I'm sure of the pain
No need to push my drugs away
Sep 2014 · 336
Unmarked Ammo
Shades On Inside Sep 2014
Three guns go off
One misses
One's empty
The other's quick enough

Nose to nose
Toe to toe
Look at me blankly
I look at you close

Deep greed
Selfish it may be
Breath in exhale
Try and plead

Let you live
Do what's fair
I know I should
The bullets forgive

I love you so
Kisses again
I got you now
Death you know
Aug 2014 · 307
Too Many Anyway
Shades On Inside Aug 2014
Think you can save me? I can't be saved
I won't, I don't need no soul
What a beautiful day
We'll take the war
If we take them right
We've lost a lot of men
We got too many anyway

Think you can save me? I can't be saved
I won't, I don't need no soul
As I finally meet my end
I can't be scared, no
I won't defend what I've done
Though I need him just like you told
We got too many anyway

Think you can save me? I can't be saved
I won't, I don't need no soul
I just want to sleep for a little while
Let me wake in my mothers home
Let me be just like my father
Your words won't define the war
We got too many anyway

Think you can save me? I can't be saved
I won't, I don't need no soul
This can't be living well
I want a world like they taught me
I want to love like they said I would
There is hysteria in us all
We got too many anyway
Aug 2014 · 343
Let me do what I do
Shades On Inside Aug 2014
On the grind not in control
Take what you're given
That's what I am told
Trying to find my way
To see what works for me
Not going to obey

Feeling good where I am at
Just let me do what I do best
Just as easy as that
Hiccups in the road
Must learn to let things slide
Keepin' it in work mode
Mar 2014 · 239
The Show Must Go On
Shades On Inside Mar 2014
I didn't have much to say
When I called you up the other day
I just wanted to see how you were
And maybe try and understand the way
You feel today

I am sure you're on the road
With a full car load
Electricity bursting from your fingertips
Chasing the music that once flowed
We're all thankful for what you showed

I know you're not used to being beat
It's not as easy now standing on your own two feet
You breezed through life
But now something inside of you must eat
On the phone I hear defeat

I thought about all the time we missed
About the last time my venom hissed
I was thinking about how everyone is dying
And maybe it's time you start that bucket list
Just don't do it with a clinched fist

I look at myself and all I see is you
I know you know the same is true
Being too proud got you nowhere
But don't let it ****, you can't be through
This isn't fair, this type of mean brew

I am going to miss you when you're gone
You've been a light brighter than the sun
You did it to yourself over the years
Or maybe this is actually something won
It's the end of the show, and it must go on
Feb 2014 · 315
Your Funeral
Shades On Inside Feb 2014
Going to your funeral now feeling so confused
I lost the best friend I ever had
Everything goes away
Like a child I cried
Driving down the highway through the hot sunny day
The perfect day for this kind of pain
Look at all these people holding flowers in their hands
They're going put the flowers on the box
That's holding you.

Going to your funeral and feeling hollow
Thinking about the days when we hung out behind the school
Everything goes away
I knew that you were not insane
Trying to cope with this world
You had it all going for you but I understand why
I smile like it's nothing but I scratch wounds that will not heal
Look at the people with heads down in their hands
With everything I feel, I know I missed out

Standing in front everyone at your funeral, feeling like a fool
Telling them stories that may not have happened
Everything goes away
You knew best about suicide and smack
Trying to run from the ***** and bats
You just crumbled and burned all alone
I was a bad friend and let you die
Too selfish to see or care
I miss you now
Feb 2014 · 471
Early Morning Musings
Shades On Inside Feb 2014
I know I might be forgiven
But I don't know how
I don't trust much what anyone says
Just seems to be another lie I used once before

A little late to fix another drink
So I'll sit here and watch the sun come up
Listening to the dark sing me to sleep
Waiting for dreams to take me somewhere else

I sold it all to pay the man
I have no coin to pay Charon
I'll wander the shores for years to come
It's a life I've welcomed and a life I've won
Dec 2013 · 334
Getting West
Shades On Inside Dec 2013
Well I can't run much more
That smile I used to adore
Tried loving her best
Now I've got to get a little further west

Since I've been gone
I've done less right than wrong
No worse than most of the rest
Now I've got to get a little further west

My friends don't need me anyway
They get along just fine they say
I may be worse than the rest
Now I've got to get a little further west

Out west is the only blue sky I've seen
This big ol river wash me away clean
Empty thoughts is all I have left
Now I've got to get a little further west
Dec 2013 · 445
Before I Check Out
Shades On Inside Dec 2013
Life's confusing and so am I
You better give me something
So I don't die

Give me something for the soul
Something to fill the void
Of this this empty room
Before I check out, before I check out

Life is good or so they say
I've created my own obstacle's
And they're in my way

Give me something for the soul
Something to fill the void
Of this this empty room
Before I check out, before I check

Everything happens for a reason
Except for the lives I'll ruin
I wish I could explain away my treason

Give me something for the soul
Something to fill the void
Of this this empty room
Before I check out, before I check

I'm cancer, and there aint no cure
They'll find out soon
What a shameful adventure

Give me something for the soul
Something to fill the void
Of this this empty room
Before I check out, before I check

Fake it enough just try
You better give me something
So I don't die
Oct 2013 · 2.3k
I Think I Saw a Women
Shades On Inside Oct 2013
Stepping on a rusty nail
Showing the baby sitter the back yard
Went straight through my Ninja Turtle Flip-Flops

I looked up at the sky last night
I think I saw a woman

Walking out back to the tree with the vines
Dogs barkin' and mesquitos bite
Don't tell mom if I fall

I looked up at the sky last night
I think I saw a woman

Walking down the street to the church
Meeting up with Zach for a smoke
Got it stashed in a lock box behind

I looked up at the sky last night
I think I saw a women

Life is funny, well peculiar I guess
You think I got it all figured out
Then why am I such a ******* wreck

I looked up at the sky last night
I think I saw a woman

An abandoned mine shaft
On the top of a blown up mountain
Throwing myself into traps

I looked up at the sky last night
I think I saw a woman
Oct 2013 · 408
I'd Give it All Away
Shades On Inside Oct 2013
What have I become?
I focus on my pain
It's the only thing that's real
I hold on to it like it's my only friend.
My lies have become my truth
I cut myself to see the color of something true.
What have I become?

I'd give it all away
You can have my kingdom of hurt
You are someone new
But I am still there.

What have I become?
I will let you down just as I have always done.
I tried to start over thousands of miles away
It's no different than it was before.
I can't seem to shake myself
I follow wherever I go.
What have I become?

I'd give it all away
You can have my kingdom of hurt.
You are someone new
But I am still there.

What have I become?
Full of broken thoughts
Desires that will never be real.
Everything is fragile
I dare not let you in.
Sooner or later I'll have to cut myself down
What have I become?

I'd give it all away
You can have my kingdom of hurt.
You are someone new
But I am still there.
Jul 2013 · 444
I Hope
Shades On Inside Jul 2013
Last night wasn't so good
Tonight isn't lookin' much better
I am gettin' used to waking up without you here
I hear things around
And my hope dies
Old No. 7's starting to take its toll on my head

I guess I should have seen the writing on the wall
But I could never take my eyes off you
Now I hear you're with another man
I am hangin' on the best I know how
I remember how you ****** like a woman
But you loved me like a child

And I hope he breaks your heart
I hope you cry a river
I hope you know how I feel now

I loved you the moment I saw you
I should have known it wouldn't last
The good things in life always end too soon
Well I packed up and moved far away
I am tired of writin' bout you
It seems I waste my best words

And I hope he breaks your heart
I hope you cry a river
I hope you know how I feel now

I hope
May 2013 · 404
Home Town Blues
Shades On Inside May 2013
Home town blues
Same walls closing in
Tryin’ to get out the gate
There’s much work to be done
I am not sayin’ there’s nothing wrong
It’s just getting’ so hard to believe

A lot of time spent lookin’ for the reasons
But it’s the simple ones that hold some truth
Some call this paradise
Some call this a land of pain
I am not sayin’ it’s either
It’s just getting so hard to believe
Apr 2013 · 395
Welcome Back
Shades On Inside Apr 2013
I knew you were goin’ to show up again
Hello, my old friend it’s been awhile
I’ve wondered where you’ve been
I felt you’d been hangin’ around
I am glad to know you’re back in style
Well pull up a seat and make yourself at home
I ain’t  goin’ nowhere this time
I am getting’ used to you comin’ along for the ride
I at least got you in my corner
I know you’ll always fight for me
I’ll keep you close this time and never let go
It’s better to feel than to be numb they say
I hope you like your new room
It’s big and has a lot of love to give
Please don’t change it too much though
Well, I guess you never really left
Just took some time off to rest
Well now that you’re back and here for good
We can go it alone; we don’t need no one else
Cuz there’s somethin’ to be said about takin’ what comes
So I am ready this time I am waitin’ right here for you
Hello sadness, hello sadness
Welcome back my old friend
Apr 2013 · 644
Truth or Fiction
Shades On Inside Apr 2013
I can't think of the words to say
But the sad songs make it better
Forgetting's easy
For a moment or two
They pass with fleeting hope
I don't seem to count much
Yet life's good enough to make you forget
Good memories begin to fade
At 6 a.m. with a soul of Old No. 7
Youth's unlucky ride
Getting lost on some dark Georgia road
Lived and died a thousand times in my dreams
Got something I never knew I had
I got my fiction
Because what's the truth really worth?
Apr 2013 · 519
Everyday
Shades On Inside Apr 2013
Too lonely tonight.
To bow out of the fight.
See how close you've come to death?
Discover what you've lost and what you (have) left.
These things don’t happen everyday
When you realize how far you have
to fall.
Out there all alone.
To stay or to go home.
Don’t forget to find a place to soften your soul.
Do what you should. Do you what you’re told.
These things don’t happen everyday
When you realize how far you have
to fall.
Not enough.
Was it really that tough?
Opening scars you don’t want to heal.
To expel pain you try but cannot feel,
These things don’t happen everyday
When you realize how far you have
to fall.
Found the door.
You know what you said this was for?
Emptiness I can feed her.
It’s OK you've always been a bleeder.
These things seem to happen everyday
When you realize how far you have
to fall.
Apr 2013 · 1.9k
Southern Heat
Shades On Inside Apr 2013
Rockin' on the front porch
Gazin' down the street
Loathsomely fannin'
Away the Southern Heat

Oppressed hands
Pickin' the days toils
Balmy and wet
Southern Heat never spoils

Whisky bottles bourbon brown
Deep fired and syrupy sweet
Vices to die for
Welcomin' Southern Heat

Clothes pinned on a line
Flappin' in dense air
Mamma starched ‘em stiff
The Southern Heat dressed debonair


There is a trouble around
It smile’s with a firm handshake
Jesus in Confederate Grey
The Southern Heat for the Devils sake
Mar 2013 · 773
The Slow Dance
Shades On Inside Mar 2013
The Slow Dance, of what does it make you think?
Of summer dresses, ice tea and lemonade
Of ballrooms and masquerades

The Slow Dance, it has a deliberate movement, does it not?
In time you must roll hand in hand
Like lovers cheek to cheek lost in forgotten land

The Slow Dance, but is it a dance?
A waltz, a trot, and a rag time step
You feel  secrets that no one knows you've kept

The Slow Dance, surely you see what I mean?
Gravely, I know not what is in store
To end is to begin and find out once more

The Slow Dance, why do only a few take part?
It is meant for one but not for all
Yet many take their step, stutter, and fall

The Slow Dance, when does it end?
Through pain and sorrow of a heavy heart
When it is all too great, you must step apart

The Slow Dance, but how long does it take?
Over in a moment, a decision of rash
The end can be long or just a flash

Ah yes, The Slow Dance is not a dance at all
Just an isolated path sauntered alone
The means to end only a few have shown

— The End —