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Shades On Inside Feb 2018
I hear birds singing outside my window
I can't understand their happy tune
No more gold for me or you
The future doesn't look the same anymore

I grit my teeth and hope this doesn't last
I must learn to accept that I cannot change past

All the lies that I lived
All the fights we had
All the sleepless nights
I'm losing you

My heart is completely empty
And the sun is setting on us now
Sunflowers on our table slowly die
I have plenty of time to watch them expire

It is today that I bid you farewell
I can do whatever I want now

All the lies that I lived
All the fights we had
All the sleepless nights
I'm losing you

I look outside through my window
I can feel the warmth out there
I see the world I've been missing
The world has been missing me

All the lies that I lived
All the fights we had
All the sleepless nights
I'm losing you
Shades On Inside Apr 2017
It's been about four years now
Since I've seen your bed
Rest for my soul indeed
A little rest for my head
Always thinking about the possibility
Playing with life's razor blade
I think I lost it all, all the things I had
And to think I had it made

They ask me, "Why ya falling down?"
I said, "It beats standing up."
"Why do you feel so down?"
"Take a look at my empty cup"
Superficial friends as you can see
I've got nothing more
They took me in, I gave it all, and then they said "there's the door."
They said, there's the door"

It's been too long now
To even think about that bed
Ain't got my soul left now
Their pistols full of lead
I'm seeing all of the possibilities
Thinking about life's razor blade
I guess I never actually had the thing I thought I had
And to think I had it made
And to think I had it made

They ask me, "Why ya falling down?"
I said, "It beats standing up."
"Why do you feel so down?"
"Take a look at my empty cup"
Superficial friends as you can see
I've got nothing more
They took me in, I gave it all, and then they said "there's the door."
They said, there's the door"
Shades On Inside Aug 2016
Empty room and doggy bones
Apologies I've lost them
Tomorrow comes today
Sorry it turned out this way
I see you sitting on the table
On a cold steel table
Quiet and peaceful, warm summer air

All the places that we went
You never missed
Busted nose and ****** feet
No one knew about that red stained seat
Here one day and gone the next
I was hoping today wasn't what's next
Wear your name around my neck

I'm sorry I promised you
I'm sorry I promised you
I'm sorry you're not coming home
Don't cry I'll wish you happy birthday

Holding hands with yesterday
My, how the time got away
Sometimes I am fallin' just to fall
Don't be afraid
This ol' world ain't for everyone

What's in a man?
Sittin' in an empty void
Gettin' up from your comfy spot
Lost in the parking lot
It's true you always tried
I wish I did, I wished I tried
Gone but not forgotten

I'm sorry I promised you
I'm sorry I promised you
I'm sorry you're not coming home
Don't cry I'll wish you happy birthday
Shades On Inside Aug 2016
Twelve years ago on a cold November Georgia night
We drove to get my brother Josh a new Labrador puppy
He played with the dogs and carefully watched how they behaved
Dad whispered to mom, “Let’s get Joe a dog. Maybe it’ll teach him some responsibility”
“No Bill. We can’t do that.”
I remember playing with the litter of yellow labs
And you were the fattest of the bunch. Your loose skin bouncing as you galloped over
That night we left with two dogs instead of one I named you Boo Radley.
Though you were not shy, you became a monster of a dog.
Protective and mysterious
Often misunderstood by surrounding humans
But what do they know any way? It’s me and you Boo Man. That’s all that matters.
You were an enigmatic creature, always keeping me on my feet
I never knew if you were going to charge at the family across the street
Only to arrive wagging your tail and licking the scared little girls face
I left you Boo, only four months after I became yours I had to take care of myself, so I could be the best for you. I knew you understood.
You became mom’s best friend and companion
When it thundered outside she locked you in the bathroom to sweat it out alone
As any good mother would.
You were the only constant in her life that year. Always greeting her with a toothy grin.
You gladly shared your fur when her outfit for work needed some improvement
A year later we finally began what proved to be the most fulfilling relationship either of us could ask for.
Boo, I never heard a dog talk to me the way you did. Your vocal range was most impressive, and you were never scared to share.
I believe you were an evolutionary miracle A dog far more advanced than the rest.
You spoke to me every day about your wants and desires
Which mostly consisted of more food, more walks, and more swim time.
On nights it stormed I became the little spoon. You’d hold on tight, shake and cry.
The park was your kingdom, the water your domain
You’d let every intruder know that this was your turf and they were welcome as long as they knew.
You were a gold medal winner at the “Boo Stroke,” A slow barreling doggy paddle
It seemed like you took minutes before you arrived at that **** stick floating down the river
But without fail, the rolling water was no match for you B-Rad
You’d grasp the stick gently as to make sure to return it just as it was before it was thrown
Stick in mouth you’d proudly appear.
In your later years you gave up the prideful dominance.
You softened and became a tender lover, a licker, a constant tail wagger, a doggy trotter- not a doggy runner, an even slower swimmer, an early morning riser, a gentle giant, but you stayed my best friend.
You never wasted a good opportunity to stuff my socks or someone else's in your mouth. Or underwear for that matter. I will forever appreciate socks that don't match thanks to you.
You drove twenty-one hours in an over packed broken down jeep
Stuffed in the back next to bags of clothes and picture frames you followed me west
For the both of us it was our second chance, a second skin, to become what we both knew we could
We scaled mountains out of breath with ****** blisters and sore knees
We said, “Hell yeah! We love this.” Only to go home and sink into the couch for days.
Eventually, we learned to stick to the rivers and lakes that we were used to (Boo Man-Chu, sorry for the TLC reference I know that was not your preferred genre of music)
Boo Bear, you were my wing man and helped me convince a wonderful lady to join our family
You reluctantly learned to share the bed, although I am not sure you ever forgave me for that
You struggled at times to live up to the lofty energy level you set at a young age.
But you kept on. ******* as always.
You battled doggy anxiety, hips that failed you six years too early, and an owner who doesn’t know how to properly give a doggy haircut.
Sorry for making you look like a waffle fry last summer.
Yet, you were always there. You were consistent, dependable, and loving.
I could even count on you to show up in my lunch at work.
I’d smile, shrug my shoulders, think of you, and devour the hairy bite with pride.
Boo Radley, you were my rock and my soul. I only wish I could give you one last ear rub and hear that loving grunt one more time.
Best friend, this ended all too abruptly, all too soon. I miss you. I love you. I suppose the intensity in which you left my life is fitting for the intensity in which you came.
I hope to see you in my dreams scratching your back in the grass. I expect to play a game of fetch before you have to go.
I am sorry this happened to you, if I could have taken it all on myself I would. I love and miss you. Always and forever.
These words could not be more true. Here’s to you Boo!
“But in his heart he knows that sometimes a dog is as good as any man
Trying to do as we should
That doesn't always rhyme with doing what feels good”
Shades On Inside Apr 2016
All around you...

The moon is gushing tonight
Bright pale angel

All around you...
Stars sparkle and dance inside
Love for glimmering eyes

All around you...
Silver bouncing through the Milky Way
Big enough in the country

All around you...
Wide open spaces reveal
Lightin’ bug flickers

All around you...
Little neon tracer passerby
Smell the wind, dancing far away

All around you...
Tosses in the sky
Like a ladies dress

All around you...
Gently blowing past the tall grass
I felt like a child,

The presence all around you
And the power within
Hold it in your heart
Let it find you, Let it guide you
On your mission
Just to don’t deny, don’t deny
What's all around you...
Shades On Inside Jul 2015
Life is told by truth and lies
Truth that lives, but quickly dies
We lost the battle and I am gone
I was not found, but life goes on
Many looked and could not find
The brave soldier who lost his mind
I am all around you, but well concealed
The wounds I cover have not healed
Those graves I dug are very real
Sorrow for them you know I do not feel
They had names just like you
Their lives were strong and sadly true
Believe me my confession is pure
Though how many I cannot be sure
I wish to leave that life behind
But that life is now and so unkind
You do not love as deep as me
Yet, I can **** and quickly flee
Your heart is dark and full of lies
You tried to cover up with murky skies
My life is safe from ghosts like you
The blood on my hands is on yours too
The lies I tell you hold hidden truth
Look closely and you'll find the proof
Every story I tell I leave a piece of me behind
There are so many, myself I cannot find
But I remember that life is told by truth and lies
Truth that lives, but quickly dies
Shades On Inside Jan 2015
I am...
a total disaster
an accident waiting to happen
a sitting duck
what everyone is looking at

So don't let me out
Something will happen
Keep a calm face
Try my best not to breathe

I am...
everyone's worst nightmare
something the doctors cant fix
exactly what you don't want to see
what's wrong with the world


So don't let me out
Something will happen
I keep a calm face
And I try my best not to breathe

I am...
not wrapped up neatly
covered in things you don't want to see
wrong and never right
a leach stuck to you

So don't let me out
Something will happen
I keep a calm face
And I try my best not to breathe
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