But you see, she's not just any lass That's the thing that terrifies me, she wasn't just any lass yesterday, and surely she won't be just any lass tomorrow. She is not just a lass. Because no other lass can affect me the way she does when she smiles, or when she speaks.

I've spent these last few months trying to write a song or a poem about you. They never seem to fit, or flow, and it is rare that I like one. Though I have come to a conclusion as to why I cannot construct a piece for you. Words cannot express the immese feelings I experience when I am in your presence.

I will love every detail of you,
Ranging from scars, your best features,
I will love you on days you talk to me, and days you don't.
I will love you during the times yore weak or strong.
During the times you confide in me or shut me out.
I will love you whether we were hiding a relationship, or open.
I will love you no matter your choices.

The time you have been granted shall pass no matter what
No matter how shall you occupy yor time.
You have the ability of
spend your days simply dreaming of the elements in which you crave to make up your life, or you can chase after your dreams, find your passion, and chase it.
The choice is all yours.

I sit and strum a chord,
though mess up on the tab because I zone out,
these thoughts shouldn't be here,
and are obviously off the board.
and that is without a doubt
but these lingering thoughts,
are of you, my dear.
I can't get them to go away,
lately they've stayed growing stronger with each passing day

Looking through photographs of me throughout the past,
How I grew,
How I changed into the man I wished to be,
But at a sudden spike,
You look into my eyes,
And they look as hollow as can be.
Ever since that day,
My eyes lack blue and give off grey.
The red, the blue, and all other hues,
Have faded.
The world is black and white.
And the hardest times are at night.
Those are the nights im urged to drink,
So I don't think.
Thoughts of anything but you,
But you're all the my mine think about,
And every hope, is shaded by doubt.
Addiction is not just for substance,
It is also for emotion,
And intoxication,
While intoxicated by the *****,
Nothing is more intoxicating than you.
I glance around the fuzzy room,
And put on a cover,
A costume,
A plastic smile...
A true smile,
Well, that's been dead for awhile.

I remember hearing the sound of heels,
clicking behind me,
I recall how it made me feel,
I thought when I turned around Id see the most gorgeous lass,
And I was right,
I saw you.

Five shots,
And a couple beers,
And you're still not out of my mind.
You're not supposed to ******* be here

Oh, I crave to be loved by you.
I crave to be in your head,
And I wouldn't mind if you didn't even think about kissing me often.
Just once in awhile.

I crave to look into your eyes,
To see a flame,
For you to realize,
How much I truly care..

I crave to hold you close,
Not even intimately of you don't wish,
Just close,
I want you in my arms.

I want you, I really do, baby.

Change me,
Change me, to be a lad worth wanting,
Change me so I can be good enough,
I just want to be worthy.
Use me,
Use me make me yours,
Use me even if for one night,
I just want you close.
Love me, oh please.
Love me how I love you,
I just want you to show it briefly.
Make me, oh make me,
Make me into a man you can love,
Make me into a prince,
I just don't want to be a beast.
Keep me,
Keep me sane,
Keep me calm,
Keep me pure, im tired of living tainted.
I just want to be in possession of a good soul.

Everything lately makes me home sick,
The songs we played,
The places we layed,
The restaurants where we ate,
The locations I took you on our dates,
My shirt your wore,
The school and the halls we walked, where we met at the doors.
You are my home.
I'm so ******* home sick.

Her eyes are like galaxies gorgeous, yet mysteries. They have held secrets that ever since I've laid my eyes on here. I've been intrigued to learn.

4 A.M last night I long for you to be in my arms,
2 P.M last week on Wednesday I wanted your lips against mine,
It's always the same strain of thought going throughout my mind,
No matter what day or time,
You have a tendency to invade every corner in my mind.

It's one a.m and I can't sleep,
All because thoughts of you are engulfing me.
Another sleepless night,
Seems like I won't sleep until things are right.

"do you hate anyone"
Yes, myself.
And I'm sorry, I know you want me to be happy with who I am.
Because I do no good,
And I'm sorry, I know you deserve better.
No matter how hard I try,
I'm sorry, maybe I'm not trying hard enough.
I don't want to be bad
I'm sorry I lied and said I was good
But I always **** up.
I'm sorry, I'm always sorry
So almost every sentence is followed with "I'm sorry"
Just know, I'm sorry, for everything

If you ever at any moment begin to doubt any aspect of yourself, just take a moment to walk deep into any forest nearby. Look around and notice how the trees still stand tall even though they are given no recognition what so ever. Walk along side any stream, no matter what the side, The water still flows, though no one stops to praise it. Lay out and watch the stars late at night; they shine often without any acknowledgment. Humans can be  just the same. We are made out of many of the same same chemicals which make up these creations around us.  Never forget that you are beautiful and never forget your self worth.

People use definitions to define others, along with themselves.
such as I?
Well, I am worthless.

The images of you two, you and him, they're ******* vivid,
And I sit in my room livid.
All I want is your love,
but I guess that will be left for me to only dream of.

I understand that I'm not the lad of your dreams,
The lad you want in a relationship with you,
Or the lad you'll dance with.
And that I'm too hopeful for these things.

But, what I do hope comes true.
That one day, when you're painting. You use a certain hue of blue.
That reminds you of my eyes.
And then you realize.
That I would have traveled the world for you.
And that I loved you, more than anything.

"Happy annive..."

I cut off the text, it's been months since we've parted... Why do I still text that?

What if I would have disappeared before I even ****** us up..
You would be happ834
But I didnt..
And I'm sorry.
I'm a burden

He longs to play guitar until his fingertips bleed,
he thinks that will get rid of the feelings,
and that's what he needs.
Though from it his feelings engulf him,
The feelings cut into him like a knife.
Everything around him is grim.
and that's all they have been.
For the previous months, not only the few this year.
He has felt this way for while.
Though no one could tell.
Just like no one notices he is a shell of a man of what he once was.

She was hope, She was love.
Two things I had not believe existed for awhile.
Within those green eyes, I felt at home.
Though now you're leaving, hope is fading.
I'm lost and alone, and now I don't have a home.

All my life my favorite color has been red, whenever I bought a shirt I wanted red, same went with toys, even the food I consumed.
Though it is now tied with another color, and that color is green. Green is a color that is comforting to me, it warms my heart, and drives my ambition.
Did I mention green is the color of her eyes?

If I **** my mind,
Maybe I'll be able breathe,
Maybe if I don't think,
I won't crave to drink,
Maybe I don't have thoughts,
I will want to live
So I'll numb over.
And reject every thought,
Because then at least I'm alive

Everything.
No matter what "flaws" she can pick out.
It won't change how I feel.
Those details make her who she is.
Into the lass that I have the joy of having in my life.

Today you told me
"Go home"
I told you I was...
You said to me,
"No you're on the street"
You didn't realize my home isn't the house I live in.
Home is with you.

Last year, I overheard your conversation, I laughed at the idea.
Fate, how could one believe in such a concept?

Last year, I was in ear shot if her saying to him "I love you". I scoffed at the idea.
Love, a concept, and idea in which we do not actually fall in love with the individual, just the idea of the emotion. I wrote that I would never fall in love, that I was a beast

A year later, glance into her eyes and say "I love you" . I pull her into my arms, and smile.

I sit here and remember back to what my grandmother said "one day, you'll find happiness in the most unexpected way, it will always be there, you will just be too oblivious to notice" id question why and she said it was just fate.

After she passed away I snarled at the two ideals, they seemed about as real as the fairy tales I read. Then you walked into my life, I fell in love, now I question. What about fate? What is mine?

Send me a text like lovers do,
I just want to feel like I mean something to you.

I'm a messy eater,
I mix up my words,
I never quite make sense,
I'm loud,
And I often frustrate you..
But just know that I adore you.

"What color makes you feel the safest?"
"Green?"
"Why?"
"Because that's the color I see when I look in her eyes."

"Isn't hiding your relationship a huge *** burden?"
No, it's not the best circumstance.. But it's worth it.
"How?"
When I can say something sweet, and see that smile.
Hear a sweet name,
Or go hold her,
Or see her for a few minutes after a long time,
Or hear her voice...
It's all worth it

She kisses my cheek,
And I realized we never had our last kiss,
And I never wanted it to end up like this,
The waters are getting rough,
And I'm sorry I wasn't good enough.
I'll stop trying so hard, I don't have the energy,
Maybe I will next week.

I wish for your happiness,
For a smile each day,
For you to find who you are,
And who you want,
For that they won't place limits,
They they treat you like the princess you truly are.
And for you don't live in fear.

He sits at the table glares toward blank paper,
Sighs and glances to the empty trash bin.
No ideas, not in ages.
At least last time he had ideas to throw out.
Though back then, he had something to write about.
And back then, he still had a muse.

A persistent feeling eats at my insides,
It is one that has overgrown,
It makes my stomach churn,
My thoughts burn..
Thought that doesn't even begin to describe,
How loneliness can begin it eat a person alive.

Everyday people ask each other, "How are you?"  When I am asked that question often I reply with "I'm okay". Though, often  not feeling okay. There are times when I don't even know what emotion I am feeling. Throughout a week I can go through every emotion one can think of because of all of the difficulties that life throws at me. Things are always how I wish them. It's hard to describe. Some days, I'm okay, but not okay. And I'm content with that. It's a part of being human

Reserved
/rəˈzərvd/
Adjective.
Definition: Kept for a certain purpose or person.
I have a spot for you, it's reserved.
It's vacant, and it has been since you left..
I wish it otherwise, I wish someone was there, filling that gap
but I want you..
And the matter of current events says it will be left as is.
Empty.

I say I hate my father
I claim I hate every detail about him
But maybe what I hate the most
Is that I still love him
I loved him when his fist hit my head
I'd probably even love him with his gun against my chest.

July 16, 2013.
I crave that an individual could, and would care for me and love me, just like how I do for them and if it is possible that an individual could do this to such a beast, I just doubt it will ever happen.

July 16, 2014.
I just want to thank you, you always care for me. I have found a required love. You have shown me that I am on fact not a beast, turns out I was wrong. I'm sorry I doubted it. I love you

He felt his grip slipping
He faded away into the sea of thoughts.
He never returned.
I don't know where he is, I haven't seen him since.
I miss him, but I'll never see him again.

Please tell me where you are?
                         You're sitting right
                         beside me but, it's as if
                         You are galaxies away
                         From me.
Where are you?
                         I see you smile though I
                         Know it's no longer
                         Because of me.
Why did you leave?
                         Please come back.

"What was so different about her than everyone else?"
We clicked, I didn't have to try hard,
Everything was so natural,
We had our differences, yeah.
Though they didn't define us.
We were happy together.
I'm not saying there weren't problems,
But we faced them, and they usually never bested us,
But,
She was home.

I love who I am, I swear I do,
But on nights like these,
it's hard to believe
That anyone else could love me too.

"Why does love ****?"

The thing is Love does not ****. Love is the best feeling that someone can experience throughout their life time. You know what *****? Rejection. Rejection in an emotion that will cause an ache in your bones and a sting to your heart. With all that pain, and all of those thoughts that are overwhelming you. Just know, it isn't love, it's pain... It's rejection

I remember looking Into your jade eyes,
Falling asleep to your heartbeat,
It grew to be my favorite lullaby.

I told you every body left,
I told you every body gave up.
You assured me you wouldn't,
I believed you...
But It turns out I was right.

"I won't break up with him, if we're were i break up, it would because he broke up with me"
Every since that was said... I've had a lump in my throat... Because you said such a similar thing to me...

My fingers are raw.
I spend hours with my guitar playing in attempt to clear my mind...
But oh god, she was in every ******* song lyric.
In every song I've learned how to play