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Escalus Jan 2015
She kisses my cheek,
And I realized we never had our last kiss,
And I never wanted it to end up like this,
The waters are getting rough,
And I'm sorry I wasn't good enough.
I'll stop trying so hard, I don't have the energy,
Maybe I will next week.
Escalus Jan 2015
Looking through photographs of me throughout the past,
How I grew,
How I changed into the man I wished to be,
But at a sudden spike,
You look into my eyes,
And they look as hollow as can be.
Ever since that day,
My eyes lack blue and give off grey.
The red, the blue, and all other hues,
Have faded.
The world is black and white.
And the hardest times are at night.
Those are the nights im urged to drink,
So I don't think.
Thoughts of anything but you,
But you're all the my mine think about,
And every hope, is shaded by doubt.
Addiction is not just for substance,
It is also for emotion,
And intoxication,
While intoxicated by the *****,
Nothing is more intoxicating than you.
I glance around the fuzzy room,
And put on a cover,
A costume,
A plastic smile...
A true smile,
Well, that's been dead for awhile.
Escalus Jan 2015
If I **** my mind,
Maybe I'll be able breathe,
Maybe if I don't think,
I won't crave to drink,
Maybe I don't have thoughts,
I will want to live
So I'll numb over.
And reject every thought,
Because then at least I'm alive
Escalus Jan 2015
I would have taken a thousand beatings,
A bullet,
Death threats,
Redo schooling all again,
Give up acting ability,
Traveled the world...
I would have done anything that you named..
Just to be with you again.
Escalus Jan 2015
What if I would have disappeared before I even ****** us up..
You would be happ834
But I didnt..
And I'm sorry.
I'm a burden
Escalus Jan 2015
Today you told me
"Go home"
I told you I was...
You said to me,
"No you're on the street"
You didn't realize my home isn't the house I live in.
Home is with you.
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