I hold out my hand and smile as the music plays.
Forgive me when I get off beat during our dance, for once it's not because I don't have my hearing aid, or that I'm clueless. It's that I can't hear the music over my heartbeat. For when I am with you, my heart beats louder than any drums I've ever played or heard.

July 16, 2013.
I crave that an individual could, and would care for me and love me, just like how I do for them and if it is possible that an individual could do this to such a beast, I just doubt it will ever happen.

July 16, 2014.
I just want to thank you, you always care for me. I have found a required love. You have shown me that I am on fact not a beast, turns out I was wrong. I'm sorry I doubted it. I love you

I looked down onto the paper before me.
Adjectives scrawled all across it.
Beast, worthless, idiotic, suicidal, freak, unorganized, unintelligent, try hard, spastic, boring, arrogant, obsessive.
This went on for ages, at least a hundred negative words against myself on it.
I looked down at the paper as a tear rolled down my face. I crossed out the adjectives. I smiled and flipped it over, and on the back I wrote a note.
"There are many things I can be describe as... Though, those are not adjectives I would use... But the best I could say? Healing."
I looked down toward the paper and smiled.

Everyday people ask each other, "How are you?"  When I am asked that question often I reply with "I'm okay". Though, often  not feeling okay. There are times when I don't even know what emotion I am feeling. Throughout a week I can go through every emotion one can think of because of all of the difficulties that life throws at me. Things are always how I wish them. It's hard to describe. Some days, I'm okay, but not okay. And I'm content with that. It's a part of being human

I went to write a poem to express my emotions towards her. I didn't want it too long. I glanced down at the paper as my hand scratched down a word..

"Until."

And that was it, that was the poem. It was so simple. One word, the beginning of a phrase I said to you as I help you one night.

"I'll love you until eternity itself ceases to exist."

All my life my favorite color has been red, whenever I bought a shirt I wanted red, same went with toys, even the food I consumed.
Though it is now tied with another color, and that color is green. Green is a color that is comforting to me, it warms my heart, and drives my ambition.
Did I mention green is the color of her eyes?

I say I hate my father
I claim I hate every detail about him
But maybe what I hate the most
Is that I still love him
I loved him when his fist hit my head
I'd probably even love him with his gun against my chest.