Three siblings;
They are three of the best things in my life,
I write this as they play outside, I’m on my fall break and I haven’t seen them but two times this year (Including now)


I look to his little hand wrapped around my finger,
He’s only three,
He’s a brunette with blue eyes,
His laugh brightens my day,
He can’t say my name, whenever he sees me, no matter if I was only gone 5 minutes..
He  outstretches his arms and yells “Anya, I missed you!!”
He’s curious of the world.
He’s oblivious to the world’s wretched wonders around him,
He wants to analyze everything like we do,
He will only be like this for a short time..

I look at him, as he dribbles the soccer ball,
He’s five,
He’s a a brunette with blue eyes
His encouragement keeps me going,
He always asks me “Why can’t you be here everyday with us”?”
He thinks he is grown,
As if he could take on the entire world..

I look over to her; my only sister, she absorbed in poetry
She’s nine,
She’s a brunette with blue eyes,
Her smile eases the pain,
She’s so intelligent for her age; I see so much in store for her
She says “When I grow up, I want to be like you!”
She always talks about growing up…
She’s ready to break free

I’m the oldest sister,
I’m fifteen,
I’m blonde with green eyes,
Even being different from these three; age, looks, lifestyle.. For once I don't feel outcasted
My voice is recognized by them anywhere,
I vow every time they are near that I will protect them,
I always promise these kids “You’ll see me again...” I say as I walk to the car with packed bags
I always thought about leaving everything behind…
But these kids, are three reasons I’m still here.

It’s been established you aren’t mine.
Yet that doesn’t stop that feeling when I get around you.
Sweaty palms, shaky knees, blood red, goofy smile, ditsy.
My heart beats fast when I talk to you.
Its like we are standing still in time…
The world around us is spinning around at the speed of light.
At night there is a traffic jam in my head,
Thinking of words I should have said…
What if I would have kissed you then?
What if I would have handed you my song book?
What if I would have said that?
Would that have changed any of this?
If I see another chance,
I won’t hesitate.

You’re right,
All of this is illogical.
I don’t see how any of the came about either,
No one would have expected this.

I met you at the beginning of this year,
We were at rehearsal,
Something about you drew me forth,
By the end of the night we were friends

I got your number and we began texting,
You constantly caused a smile on my face
By the end of this month I knew something was there
But I ignored those feelings

After the play was over…
We talked less
I decided I would take a breath
And try to sort my feelings out

As the end of the school year crept upon on us
I began to see you more
We began talking again
And there came the feelings again

I finally decided that I was smitten
And just accepted that I wanted to be with you
But I told myself not to try for it
That it could ruin the friendship we have

We texted through the summer
I began to hint that I liked you
In an indirect way
I never noticed you had caught on

Finally you got me to reveal my feelings
And everything was great
Soon after we began having late night talks
They ended once the school year came

After you and him had broken up
I knew I had a chance
I had a civil war whether or not to take it
But I knew you didn’t want a relationship


As school began I was dragging
Until I noticed I had lunch with you
And even a class
Your presence overwhelmed me

I still have feelings for you
I hide them everyday
The pauses and neverminds
Those are my hesitations of my feelings

The genuine smiles
The goofiness
The rare giggle
That is a side you bring out

The what ifs
The hows
That is what fills my brain
Waiting for your reply to this