Rodney Mcfarlane

Rodney Mcfarlane Mar 2014

Dad...... Daddy..... father? what does that even mean?
Disappearing act from the jump pretty obscene i mean
fair
it just wasnt fair but i ask myself was he not prepared
consequences was known so i can only think he was scared i mean
afraid
its easy to say the role he never got a chance to play
was not something he could of judged to this very day i mean
night
as it came down right on my head the pressure was so tight
people tryna fill a slot giving me a tunnel so i can see the light i mean
dark
so dark i had to spark my inner man so little so i had no bark
sacrificing my childhood somewhat, that means no games no park i mean
seclusion
trapped in this illusion that i would be in this institution
the visions of death shower me so i call it my mental pollution I mean
fresh air
so new that i couldn’t bare to know i was getting stronger even tho my cowardly father wasnt there
the anger that once was there was gone so now i dont care i mean
Where Are You?

i needed u and u weren't there

Rodney Mcfarlane Mar 2014

Remember Me

A political leader
Kind
Compassionate
A walking contradiction
an angel
a devil
someone who realized the ****** up world that he lived in
harsh
conflicted
adoration for women
hustler
hard-worker
he truly loathed petty *******
REAL
TRUE to himself
always kept it a buck
uplifter
motivator
crossed him the wrong way just know you was ******
misunderstood
over all twisted
but remember me always so no one else can miss it

Going Through The Motions

Rodney Mcfarlane Mar 2014

When I Go

I know it'll be hard to let me go when the day comes
Just think about the times we shed tears and had fun
Just know i can finally have my proper rest
I can roll on, be a "G" and no stress
I will see a place where equality reigns
no rain and no pain nobody tryna play no crooked games
(GUN SHOT)...........
Dear who it may concern just know I’m happy up here
It ***** to know i had to die for people to care
It’s cool tho but i know it ain't fair
When i got shot i was alone, nobody was there
Dear mama, aunt Sonia still strong as ever
Grandma Gordon still praising like she aint in heaven
im glad i made it so i can kick with da fellas
Should of listen when god told me eternal life was better
(WAKES UP)..........
Got a glimpse of it all but was it worth it
It was just a dream but i cant interpret it
Will i survive will i die, will i stay, will i go
Heaven felt so good please open the door
I tell my mama my dream she didn’t wanna believe
That her son was a prophet
And that he wanted to leave
My message to all try to live life right
Live life to the fullest and hold on real tight
You’re not promised tomorrow, not even today
When i go to heaven, what will you say?

I Wanna Go Back

Rodney Mcfarlane Mar 2014

Adoration

Ladies..... for the ones having babies
it aint crazy your strong believe me
and if you dont i wont feel different
but let me give it to you real simple specifics
you dont need a man who aint got no plan
he aint worth it if he cant understand
dont ever let em make you feel low
got you feeling all wild and out of control
time to let em know you dont need no help
throw ya head back and scream "im bad by myself"
he'd get it and then walk right out
now he left you alone to work things out
now we all know your strong and independent
and you proved him wrong cause he thought you was dependent
go ahead women and take care of that girl
and let em know it's you against the world

For every single african american mother, and independent female that does her thing on a day to day basis. i love you and respect you. this one is deicated for you!

Rodney Mcfarlane Mar 2014

Hateful

Selfish ******* around me its suffocating
Thats why we cant get no where as a people its aggravating
Im at a point where if i can't trust em **** em
or ill treat them like the trash they are thats on them
im a survivior and ill protect whats mine at all times
doing whats necessary to find a solution even if im blind
to the consequences of my hateful actions
reactions to my evil ways gives me satisfaction
the bashin i do results in my enemies becoming ashes
so the clashing between us leaves me no air asthmatic
(Takes a deep breath)
Thats a load off
Let me unwind and take my shirt off
first off im a real dude with a ******* problem
America put me on top then changed me to the bottom
No fame its ok no change its strange
No play no way black pride all day
Now as I go
Being Hateful is easy and know where near hard to show

Just living aint living no more.

Rodney Mcfarlane Mar 2014

IN MY THOUGHTS

The saying goes 'even genius asks questions"
My quest to be the best is one of my stresses so my question is
When will i be able to breathe (huh)
I’m at war with myself continuously and nobody sees
The hurt, no one deserves to live cursed
but strangely enough i was prepared for the worst
Sure nuff society has taken me for granted
I’m slanted the rose in the concrete feeling abandoned
it was handed to me to live this filthy life of grief
my prophecy fulfilled but the stress is killing me
please lord when you take me, that day i die
how long will they mourn me, how long will they cry?

IN MY THOUGHTS

Rodney Mcfarlane Mar 2014

Nothing........

I was nothing 24 years ago
what i would become, no one could ever know
2 years later i was nothing but considered a miracle
cultivated in tough realities if i could make that applicable
at the age of 5 still was nothing but i was somewhat talented
moving the way i was no one could ever fathom it
Age 10, i was a role model for my sisters
still nothing but had to be about my dead beat fathers business
he was never there so i had so many things to bear
so i sold dope at 14 to keep all my so called friends near
lost an angel, so i felt like i was nothing without her
15 yrs old and i told very few people about her
18 started making tough choices on my own
21 i actually got the courage to live all alone
Started my own foundation, i conceded temptation
stayed true to my black people in every situation
23 i made a life changing choice
did it as a stepping stone so my kids can have a voice
now im 24 and im still nothing
but i figured i could say a little something