Another day in paradise, they say
as the sun scorches hope off my back
and the clock laughs its slow, cruel laugh.
I'm supposed to be grateful.
Supposed to smile at the mess,
at the noise,
at the weight of pretending this is fine.

But I hate it here.
The way the air feels like a lie,
how the walls close in
even when I’m outside.
The way silence rings louder than traffic,
and company feels lonelier than being alone.

They dress it up with palm trees and promises,
but the ground still cracks beneath my feet.
And no matter how bright the sky looks,
I still wake up tired
still sleep with my fists clenched.

Another day in paradise, huh?
Then why does it feel like hell
with a better view?

My dreams are not soft things
They do not whisper or drift
They crash into me
Like memory
Like loss I never earned but still carry

I see faces I’ve never touched
Eyes that look through me like they’ve known me for lifetimes
Hands that reach
Just as I begin to fall

I wake with stories still unfolding
Mouth half-formed around names that vanish
Chest aching with love
for people I’ve never met outside my sleep

Sometimes I lie still
Eyes open
But not here
Not ready to belong to this body
this room
this gravity

Reality waits
with its empty inboxes and worn-out clocks
It doesn’t ask if I’m okay
It just goes on
as if I didn’t just leave a world that almost felt like home

But I keep waking
Even when it hurts
Even when the dream begs me to stay
Because somewhere in the quiet ache of morning
There’s a sliver of light
A whisper that maybe
what I dream
is a map
not a mistake

And maybe one day
I’ll follow it back
not to sleep
but to something real
that finally feels
like dreaming with my eyes open

When all else fails, when lights grow dim
And hope retreats past broken rim
When silence folds the world in two
And nothing shines the way it used to

Breathe. Just breathe. Let seconds pass
Let pain fall soft like blades of grass
For in the hush of wreck and rain
The soul still hums beneath the strain

When all else fails, when hearts go cold
And dreams collapse or lose their hold
When hands once held now fall away
And even prayers forget to stay

Stand. Just stand. Though knees may shake
Though every fiber longs to break
Some truths outlive the storm’s command
You still are here. You still can stand

When all else fails and night is near
Let courage rise inside the fear
A spark survives in darkest shade
A light that loss cannot unmake

So fail, then rise. Let go, then feel
The wound may weep but still, you heal
For when all else has turned to dust
Still, you remain. And still, you must

The days are spent in quiet chase,
A steady march, a changing pace,
I wander through the shifting streams,
The echoes of my fractured dreams.

I used to know exactly where,
The road would lead me, how I'd fare.
But now the map is worn and torn,
Still, I walk though I've been worn.

There’s strength in letting go, I’ve learned,
In fading lights, in bridges burned.
Yet in the dark, I still might see
A glimmer of who I used to be.

So here I stand, with both my hands,
I’ll write my future from the sands.
The past is never far away,
It guides the steps I take today.

I’m not who I was, but I still strive,
The heart that once felt dead is alive.
And though it’s me who shapes the way,
I am reborn in each new day.

I’ve been dragged through nights that had no stars,
Wounds too deep to stitch with scars.
The silence screamed, the darkness fed
But somehow, I rose from where I bled.

I’ve lost the ones I swore I’d keep,
Made promises I couldn’t reap.
Watched dreams fall like brittle leaves,
Still wore my heart on both my sleeves.

I’ve drowned in thoughts that wouldn’t die,
Fought storms behind a crooked smile.
Each breath was war, but I refused
To let the weight become my noose.

You see a body, bruised and worn,
But I’m a soul that’s battle-born.
No halo here, no perfect frame,
Just fire rising from the flame.

So if I’m quiet, don’t mistake
This calm for peace or a lucky break.
I’ve seen too much to play pretend
But I’m still here. And that won’t end.

I’m still breathing... against the tide,
Still walking with the pain inside.
Not flawless. Not fixed. Not yet free…
But I’m still breathing. And that’s enough for me.

I’ve been away too long.
Not just from the place
but from me.

There’s a version of myself
somewhere in Florida,
still standing on the porch,
waiting for me to come back
and finish the story.

When I left,
I didn’t choose it.
I was sixteen,
following orders,
packing up things
I never wanted to leave behind.
Pieces of me
got scattered across the map
but the biggest one
stayed right there.

This place I’m in now,
it don’t feel like mine.
The sun hits different.
The air don’t hold memory.
Even the silence is unfamiliar.
Like I’m just borrowing life
instead of living it.

I don’t want to escape.
I just want to return.
To the streets that raised me,
to the past that never got closure,
to the roots that still call my name
like I’m overdue.

Going back
ain’t about comfort.
It’s about freedom.
It’s about walking the same streets
as a man this time
on my terms.
With all I’ve learned.
With nothing left unsaid.

I’ve had the brakes on
since I left.
But I’m ready now.
Not to rewind
but to reclaim.

Home isn’t just a place.
It’s where I start moving forward
for real.