I gave up. Almost two months of praying and hoping that your name would flash across my screen. Almost two months of crying myself to sleep, truly believing you did not give a **** about me. So, I gave up. On the day of the wedding I hoped you would join me to celebrate, I gave up hope that you cared or would make any attempt to call me. I smiled the first real smiles in two months. I laughed and I cried tears of joy for my sweet friend on her wedding day. The next day I went to a graduation party and as I laughed and smiled with old friends, your picture was not being clutched tight to my heart. I found a way to be happy even if I did still love you and miss you more than words can say. You made a choice, you left me in silence even when silence was almost all that I would have left the world. No call, no text, no checking with a friend to make sure I was not falling apart. I was. I did. Then after two months, I gave up. I left my phone at home that day. For the first time in two months, I let the phone stay out of my reach completely. I did not get home til around 2am. There it was. "Ello, mate" and so we picked up where we left off. Except it wasn't. We left off at a series of kisses goodbye outside of your house after a night that changed me for good...so really, we picked up where we left off before we began. So a year ago held all of that...what does tomorrow hold?
usdi