if life were really a tree,
mine would be cold,
dead from the frost

the leaves would have fallen
no hint of gold left on there surface
no love
no care

for this tree stands shorter than the rest
its breaths short
quivering in the silent wind

the trunk shrivels,
its bark turned grey
ashy remains through fire

it has burnt its unending river
of scarlet as its trunk is sliced to pieces

all you do is stand and watch
you watch them tear the tree apart
its beauty being lost each second that ticks by

If life were really a tree
you,

are my Tree Surgeon.

The endorphins fill my broken mind,
the bleeding does not cease as the relief overwhelms,
my body convulses at the touch of the knife,
but the feeling is one of medication.

My mind is sick,
only to be healed by the small droplets falling from my wrists,
my pills a mixture of pain and happiness,
my heart beats loudly and my body feels weak

nothing will stop the feeling once it has started
no one will make me wish I had never pierced my flesh
my scars tell a tale of great frustration
years of being battered and left aside

My father non existent,
his replacement would make him choke,
without him I would not have spiralled
into this deep dark pit of depression,

he was abusive by nature but that's no excuse,
he ruined me for 16 years and im still ruined now,
left for dead on the side of the highway
a life saving operation I had rather left me dead,

Coming through the other side,
has yet to happen smoothly
and as I watch his evil eyes,
I collapse , never again to open my mouth

Transient waves form a helpless beauty,
words are refracted and lost in the dust,
your pain is the last thing in there memory,
your heart cannot take the judgement they throw
no constellations
I am battered and cold

Holding back who I really am,
is not something that is going to come easily,
I want to be different,
but at the same time I want to be the same,
I want to love who I please
and hate who I wish to ignore,
but so it is written these things
are not songs to be sung anymore.

I scream inside my steel chamber,
and rattle the bars that have me enclosed,
tears roll down my face as I realise
my feeling must come to a stop
I cannot do this on my own
I need your help
I cry out to the sky

I feel lonely and helpless,
my tears have gone dry,
I fall down to my knees
I cannot ask for what I need
because I do not yet know what exactly it is...
I cry out to the sky again and again

all to no avail;

my blood cascades in rivers
and my heart is placid and cold,
I need not myself anymore or the demons who have overthrown me
I need a faith more relevant than the truth
I need eyes that will see what is left unseen
I need a heart that is open to be healed and made clean

I want to be your child,
your only love forever and a day more
but God, my life is a painful misery of broken sadness
how can I be good enough for you?
How can I be anywhere near what you expect
as I curse myself and scar my lungs
My breaths become thick and bloodshod
I go lame in the frost

Father, forgive me.

Lust is a feeling that we all endure,
pain is a suffering which cannot be ignored,
lift the weight off your shoulders and lay down your strife,
I will listen to you.

My child, put down that knife,
hear my words of wisdom profound,
your body is a temple and will not be torn,
Lay down your life, place it on the ground

For love is not a sin,
and I will pour mine onto you,
my healing salve which utters lyrics,
of sweetest songs on innocent tongues,

you are forgiven of life's mysteries,
For my son gave his life,
fathomed by cruelty,
you are to be helped through the strife,

Poetic words form a helpless beauty,
for which your song must die,
I will give you a new song forever sung,
poured down on you from the sky,

Listen my child and do not boast,
of this love for which I promise,
I cannot tell if you love me most,
or your prized possession, be honest.

Despite your flaws my child I love,
to sing over you each night as you sleep,
My child, put down that knife,
for by my love you must keep.

Droplets of blood form crimson waves,
as you forget to listen for my voice,
but, I will caress your wounds
my child, you have a simple choice

Love yourself as I have loved,
as difficult as it may seem,
and I will reward you with treasures of heaven
at my right hand your made clean.

A Love so infinite and pure,
is the one I wish to give,
my child please don't ignore,
or you will slip through my fingers like a sieve.

Hatred seeps through vicious eyes,
Love like a dream lost forever,
hearts forgotten together,
an ecstacy of broken sadness,
glitter trembles in minds refracted,
Broken tension forgets itself,
lost in the hands of the weary,
never safe in the caress of sin,
for poetry cannot be formed from chapped lips
your fingers ache as words relapse
breath forgets to fill your lungs
your place is gone here,
life begotten through glass shards
piercing the skin to your bones
small drops of crimson leakage
trickle from the crevices of your body,
the pain is unstable and placid
as they tear your heart out
with their bare hands....

Crystallised syllables.
Words fall from harsh tainted lips,
like a syllable of crystallised black,
Caressed at the touch of fingertips,
encouragement seems to lack.

A heart of steel encased within,
the shattered depicted glass,
I pray that you forgive my sin,
End this forever song fast.

Your life is plainly satisfactory,
demeaning in all you do,
waterfalls of crimson refractory
broken, diminished, by you.

Wicked and nocturnal eyes,
return your weary gaze,
reflections hard to visualise,
incentives gone for days.

Leave emotion to drown itself,
in this scarlet river abyss,
place your feelings on the shelf,
and give me one last kiss…

Six feet under,
trapped in a see through glass box,
people can see you,
they can hear you scream,
but they walk by as if they see nothing.

Six feet under,
buried beneath the pain,
hiding under the sorrow,
merciless cries come close to shattering,
the glass in which you are concealed.

Six feet under,
conceited, twisted lies,
cannot be forgotten or lost
hearts forever broken
as you see yourself

Six feet under,
the glass reflects the pain in your eyes
yet your stare is emotionless,
your heart ceases to beat
blood no longer pulses through your veins.

Six feet under,
You forget how to scream,
you lose your sense of sanity,
the glass swallows you up
lost, and always forgotten.