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Julie Jan 2019
I cant believe
Time s passing so rapidly
Since we met...
Now I m close to forgetting you
But then...
Someone mentions your name
Someone pours the wine we used to drink
They play the song we made love to
It all comes back
Laughs in the darkness of your apartment
Kissed bruises on my pale skin
Smell of fallen hopes
I couldnt let go
Time passed since we were one
In high green grass of London park.
Im close to forget you
Almost
Julie Jul 2020
So I were
Standing in the middle of nowhere
Choked up
as no word could come out of my mouth.

And, yes, I didnt feel a thing
No fear nor pain
Like all what s here was taken with last tear.

Somehow I was born new
Stood on the edge of the sheer cliff
And there was emptiness, no sound to be heard.

I laughed like a child
It felt so light
I was flying
While slowely immersing in the peace of darkness.

I found myself in a far away land
There was me but without the shadows
Of anger and fear, my lost two friends.
It felt safe, new
So simply good, even without you.
Julie Dec 2018
Let me be over
I dont want to forget
I ll keep memories in
the back of my head
But I cant live this way no more
Cause every time I smile
There s a tear in my eye
Let me stop feeling
So strong about the man
Who couldnt love me enough
To stay
I wanna say I dont need you
I wont forgive you
And yet your name wont leave my mind
Let me be over
I dont want to forget
Julie Oct 2020
How funny, life plays its strings
You were lost and I knew my deal
Years passed and I ve lost my soul in ***** and ***,
Love came my way
I could not appreciate.

You took your turn on the Abbey Road
Rock led your way again
How funny stories life writes
Once down could never give in.

Sweet cherry, my lips gave passionate kisses
Under the London sky
I was someone- now I dont recognize.
Misterious tricks lead my way
I could never understand the looks of outside world
So tender yet so cold.

I felt the rain on my pale skin
In the rusty old house we bulit,
From the ground, up
The roof had holes but we were free, we did not care about wet dreams.
Music played in our vains
I could not sing but you gave me the melody I could grip thinking I d never leave.

But there was always something in the air, hanging over our heads

We were just like a song
Beautiful but short.
Julie Apr 2020
I'm reminiscing,
Sometimes.
But there's no regret in that
We are a thing of past
And there'd never been any future for us
Though we had good times;
Smoking joints in the daylight- Sun pushing through the dark blue curtains...

Drinking bottles of white,
You playing- Me dancing
Lighting up cigarettes in darkness of the bedroom,
Old tunes in the background of love making
You didn't want to call it this way
I was only kissing you away.

Sleepless nights because we fought rough
And make up *** which made us tremble with desire.
You used to say Im a kid
Who could not understand complexity of your 80s mind.
But you found to be wrong
When we talked some more
And I knew you better than anyone,
and got the way you are
in your insecure rockstar life.

We had good times
Its a thing of past
We couldnt last
But I like to reminisce sometimes
About what we had but wasnt made for us.
Julie Mar 2020
Shut in a box
White clean walls around
There s no exit doors
No one would come inside
Walls are drawing in

Incarcerated in a cage
For a show, an entertainment.
There s no boredom, only loneliness.
Unloved, uncared, left to entertain
Fear and sadness dance together
In the danse macabre.

But fear not,
the Sun will shine again
The birds will return to sing Happiness
And lovers will find each other again
Will reach hand to hand and lips to lips
Like the story goes
To hope is to live.
Julie Aug 2019
It's raining
With all its power
The world is crying over our sins
What have we done
What have we done
It's bleeding
Our world in blood
Burning in fires
Eating the air which feeds our lungs
Land s drowning in blame and disease
In waters of waste and fuel filled
The Gods went mad
About our misbehaviour
No respect or care
What have we done

Wake-up
Wake up
There may be still hope
For once lost
To bring back
Make life for our children
Wake up
Julie Aug 2019
Happiness does not make great poems
But what do I know
Having it now not a long time

Happiness is your smile every morning
Your kiss on my forehead
Your touch on my waist
Your laugh in a darkness
And long - night talks
Happiness is life on your side
When I'm inventing problems and you wash them away

I do not know much about happiness nor love
But something with us is much more than passing days in laughs
When I look in your eyes
It's endless ocean of love and affection

I'm learning happiness
MY Angel
Julie Dec 2018
Cant sleep again
I dont know if it s me or you
Time passed unwillingly
Im happy, I move along
With duties
Only in my dreams
There s unknown feeling
Maybe he s waiting around the corner
Love...
What do I know?
Havent it meant enough to stay?
Crawling back into your arms
Every time you called
For me
An illusion
I didnt want to wake up
Power...
Have I gained enough to let go
Not to jump back into the trap of affection
Looking for closure?
Julie Jan 2019
Always in someone else s bed
Moving around like it can save me
Passing stages
Of overjoy and misery
Well im losing it, all right?
**** i think i forgot how well we felt
That sunny morning on a hill
Your hands down my hips
Lips crossed in kiss
Could feel you all
And now memories trap me everywhere
I move along with a tear on my cheek
With a glued smile on my lips
So empty without your kiss.
I was there i know it was real
That couldnt be a dream
Nor illusion
We were one for that pass
In exclusive space
No one knew about...
And now memories trap me everywhere
I move along with a tear on my cheek
With a glued smile on my lips
So empty without your kiss.
Julie Apr 2020
To fall into still waters of moonlight lake
To feel its coldness and darkness
Around
To fall deeper and deeper
In the stream of forgetting
To be there
Where lonelines is gold
Where life touches death
Where emptiness is complete

Thrown into the waves of forgiveness
Where all is only a bleak memory.
Stand in the downpour
It ll wash off your pain.
The lake takes away all the lost words
Each lost song, each lost soul.

She s passing by the waterfall
She stopped and looked into
Every drop falling down to the lake
She s lost- her mind s now wandering
Between heaven and earth
Between mortal and eternal.
No one could look for her
With time she s forgotten.
Julie Jan 2021
Oh how can I fall asleep tonight
When you re on my mind another night
Memories falling over my head
That happiness- will I ever feel it again?
Dreams came true but only for a while
When I met you that September night

She- a lost poet on the edge of teenage years
He- a proud vagabond with all possessions in one hand
Th traffic never died behind the window's glass
But lulled them up to sleep every winter night
It was cold that year her toes were blessed with his.

He said 'You are too young to see the world for what it gives and takes'
She said 'forget the age and play"
And so he did.

Oh how can I fall asleep tonight
When you re on my mind another night
Memories falling over my head
That happiness -will I ever feel it again?
Dreams came true but only for a while
When I met you that September night.

See the the moon shinning over the world
Are you looking up and dreaming of what it was
That made us shine like the stars,
That made us laugh like we were the chosen ones?
I was drifting off to dreams of past and future
To the tunes coming off your nails
Sweet were the nights and high were we
Through that winter of 1963.

Oh how can I fall asleep tonight
When you re on my mind another night
Memories falling over my head
That happiness will I ever feel it again
Dreams came true but only for a while
When I met you that September night
Julie Apr 2020
The world is grey
Though the sky so silky blue
People are grey
Though wandering around in colourful costumes.
Love bleached
****** red misery covered its shine

Come to me
Sit here with me
Listen to the old songs
we used to play on your father's 8-track.
Let them take us back to the beautiful paradise
In the middle of nowhere
There s no lies no harm
There s peace and love
And nature s blooming.

Lets run away from silence
Lets have fun again.
Julie Apr 2020
With you, I didnt feel the shadow of time
We were drifting on the edge of paradise
Drinking wine on abandoned beaches
Singing songs of lost souls
We were drowning in freedom
We were untouchable

From that spanish city of fire
Drunk with luck
Wandering through colours of the streets
Hiding in dark corners, swinging

We found ourselves in a middle of nowhere
Wine dancing in our vains
Nature lulled us up to sleep
Your careless kisses on my pale cold skin
left burning hole in my heart.
People could only watch our planet by the sea...
Our peace wasnt disturb- we didnt care.
Julie Nov 2019
Don't blame me for wanting
To see the life of the world
Don't blame me even for
Leaving you for so long
Don't think I don't love you
I do with all the pain and pleasure it gives.

Don't think of me less
that I'm young and clueless
It 's just who I am
Who you chose,
Unsettled spirit dragging your love away.

Don't blame me if I can't stay longer
It's not that I don't love you enough
Lovin you is all I have
But wind grabs me with her
Ruthlessly,
Unexpected.

Don't ask me to stay
Cause probably I will
And let my spirits down
But they ll trap me down one day again

Don't blame me I want to see the Sun on the other side
I was born this way
Don't beg me Don't blame me
Don't say I don't love you enough.
Julie Aug 2020
I wasnt ever yours
And you weren t mine
For all these months
We were passing strangers
Found in affection
Perfect in their innocence
Not worth of attention
Forgotten by the world
Yet lost in their affection
Julie Jan 2019
One string my name
I feel your name
Second sound
Im melting under your thumb
There was something more to us
Just friends doesnt sound like us
But we are so far away from each other
It was hard to miss you
When I d loved you
The songs in cold nights
I dont feel guilt anymore.
Taking me back with every word
To the ****** sky over spanish sea
To the cheap red wine from a corner shop
I feel we havent changed
And we coming back to the first night of ours
First touch
I m tremblimg like never before
You control my breath
I feel I m falling into pieces
But it scares me
No more
Julie Jan 2021
I was nothing before I met you
In a grungy bar down the road
I was a drunk, I was a loose
I didnt know wrong from good
You saw in me something more
You always say  that there s something special bout me.

You come from a different era
When love was free and freedom was love
There you were -looking like the others
The long hair and a goofy smile
But something in you would draw me closer
I did fall in love.

On your voice my heart would open
So you could pour in the sweet words
I was flying over all the ordinary people
You said I was special
So I was.
You treated me nicely like no one before
I couldnt belive that you gave your heart to me.
All the jealous eyes followed us everywhere
They all were wishing to have what we had.
We didnt care like we didnt see anyone but us.

You left in the evening and the Spanish guitar followed your way.
I missed you so dearly
I loved you so deeply
I couldnt believe the summer came to an end
All the love seemed to be a dream
Each kiss by the moonlight
Each night of dancing and talking till we felt asleep
Each night of drinking to the music of the wind
Sunsets by the sea with a breeze of guitar
That was gone.

I will remember how we met in September
And how we lived
So wildly so fully with no regrets.

On your voice my heart would open
So you could pour in the sweet words
I was flying over all the ordinary people
You said I was special
So I was.
You treated me nicely like no one before
I couldnt belive that you gave your heart to me.
You said I was special
So I was.
Julie Feb 2020
If I was a bit more resistant to heartache
Probably wouldn't cry as much
Probably wouldn't let sentiments hit me
But would not love you so tenderly

With your notes in my hands I am running
Cause time has never been my friend
I am trying to get it all now.

Away from you since we ve met
Like our clocks can't synchronise
Even though my heart keeps calling yours
I need it to be our time
Cause I'm losing all my resistance to loneliness.

I put on your T shirt,
still carries your scent
Can almost feel your touch and warmth in a hug.

I wish I could rush the time to a moment there s no more goodbyes for us
To a moment when we re just one.
Julie Aug 2020
We re living in isolation
We keep saying it ll end soon
But the world we know is ending
Oh the world is coming to an end
We keep tightly to our dreams and hopes
Even though they wont matter in the new world
The world is coming to an end.
We re living in isolation
We ve made one too many mistakes in the past
we keep making them again and again
The world got tired of our recklessness
The world is coming to an end.
Julie Dec 2018
One call
I was there by your side
Yet another time
I broke my vowl
This Christmas
I dont know anything of you
You forgot I exist
Somehow painful
Somehow relief
Tonight
I m for me
Julie Jan 2019
Always in someone else s bed
Moving around like it can save me
Passing stages
Of overjoy and misery
Well im losing it, all right?
**** i think i forgot how well we felt
That sunny morning on a hill
Your hands down my hips
Lips crossed in kiss
Could feel you all
And now memories trap me everywhere
I move along with a tear on my cheek
With a glued smile on my lips
So empty without your kiss.
I was there i know it was real
That couldnt be a dream
Nor illusion
We were one for that pass
In exclusive space
No one knew about...
And now memories trap me everywhere
I move along with a tear on my cheek
With a glued smile on my lips
So empty without your kiss.
Julie Oct 2020
Now- we' re both in distant places.
Yet somehow, I want to turn back time
To the days when you were fixated on me
Yet I was free of desire for you
Cause I kinda liked the feeling of you suffering for me
After I d cried for you every night.
Somewhere deep- I enjoyed your pain
It cancelled out my own beat.

And I was happy, oh so happy with my new love,
but needed your pain to feel the new love.

I dont think of us in any other way but friends.
Just sometimes- want to see that you feel pain of regret
That you let me run away.
Julie Jan 2019
I cant focus
So completely overratted lifestyle
I follow
You there
Now closer.
What the **** I imagined
You callining me 4 am
Sayng 'I love you honeybee'
****
Where have we gone?!
We lost..
I forgot there
I m back here
All the nights are back
So visible as your eyes
On me...
What is happening to me?!.
I dont want to have you on my mind
No more!
Julie Jan 2019
How to get out of my head
The nights I felt like a **** and princess
The mornings I was yours and only for you
Everything was too good to be true
I was to blind to see real us
In darkness
How to teach my heart forgetting
Leave the memories in past
Move on, away from the feeling
I believed was love..
Julie Nov 2019
I m looking in a mirror
Don't know who's looking back
I've always thought this is me
Wanted to be everywhere
Wind pulling my hair

Who's in the mirror now?
Julie Dec 2018
How can I forget you
All your jokes all your smiles
How can I forget you
How to get over you
When you are whole world to me
I miss yoy with every second
I desire you
Even if you failed
I need you to simply hold me
I can forgive you all you ve done to me
Please come back I can t leave it
With no goodbye it s like a fling
And you were so more than this
You were everything I cant get over with.
Why cant you give me a call
Tell me we wont fall
At leats be my friend
Cause without you Im no one
At the end
Julie Jan 2019
We were reading bukowski together
You with your pint of Old Rosie, me with a house white
'' giving *******..
******* me off... "
"I kind of like to think that Im kissing you away"
You said she sounded like me
Unintentionally giving us a romantic touch
We never had
Julie Dec 2018
Sugar coated lies
You tell
and I fall for each one of them
But long it was not
you changed your mind
But I was begging
You d take me back
Crazy the pleasure that comes from a ****
I thought love will never fail
But theres only me to blame
So naive was my game
Julie Oct 2019
All the days feel the same
All the nights so empty
Bored I fall asleep
To pass another hours
Waiting for you

All streets seem blank
All faces reminds of you
Quick I am to walk out of white walls
To fall asleep with you in mind
Waiting

All paintings seem poems
Love words screaming through colours
Black light in a corner where my soul hides
I found but I m missing
my diamond of life

White pillows, red sheets
burning with desire
Lights on or off, for us has no meaning

Sweet coffee in the mornings
Now bitter drunk with tears
Counting down another day
Without your touch
Without your kisses

Waiting
Julie Feb 2019
Behind closed doors of your apartment
I was naked
Walking with curtains wide opened
No shame
No fear.
Never felt more beautiful
You allowed me
I was.

With a burning cigarette in my left hand
With a glass of white in right
I felt so secure.
You looking at me from your corner
Controlling my every move.

With a guitar on your lap
Playing the strings so gently
Not to break the silence of night
We were.
Julie Apr 2019
I'm walking though crowded streets
Of your town.
I have in mind all the things we ve done.
I am moving through the the tears and laughs we had.
Through the love stories we never watched
And the stories we endured.
I'm moving on through memories of us.
I am good now
There s no weight on my heart.
No more pain when your name comes up in my mind.

I am good now
Hope you ll find your peace too
Cause there s no more place for
We.

— The End —