Communication

My renunciation
Susceptibility, damage
Feedback induced through operation,
Controlling
Is that how you present gratitude?
I exemplify what’s been demonstrated to me.
Reverence hands over convictions,
Trust.
Reciprocating through leaving.
I propel,
Direct forward,
Jurisdiction.
The flight into atmospheric impression,
Infatuation.
Provoking anxious attachment styles,
Complex childhood trauma.
Lack of interaction.
I purge my wrongdoings,
Request resolve.
I reprise intention for consistent trust,
Enchantment.
You aren’t alone anymore.
Genuine appreciation requires discipline.
Truthful emotion holds no possession.
Flicker of what authentic sentiment,
Entailing.
Including a merge
Unaccounted for in detachment.
©rhetoricalcuriosity

I live secret from the divine

I live like some feel in dream when time is forever gentle

Gentle forever is time when I can dream
©rhetoricalcuriosity

Haunted by the memory of your touch on my flesh
Trickling water over your shoulder blades running over the place by your hips I like to kiss.
Midnights are for lovers but so is five and six am as day breaks and I’m still enamoured within the area code where sound escapes your lips one last time before I gather my things and go.
Bidding Adieu.  
©rhetoricalcuriosity

I glance around the room eyes coming to rest blankly on the surfaces in which your essence hasn’t touched.
You’re everywhere, swirling around like a misting of mystery.
Mildew takes to the cracks of my foundation pressed for waterfalls adorned with your love - a fragment of Jupiter sprouting from antique headdress and residing softly amongst shelter of my lungs.
Mourning you is never pleasantly accepted
Forever yours, never again.
Repeating melodies crawling with June bugs and riot gear.

The war is inside us, suffer mentally into delusions.
Become the thighs of retributive policies.
Daybreak from heavens the angels are calling.
Fornicate brethren church on heathen property.
Exchange admiration for apology
Such simplistic words escape your mouth
While you critique the work I produced as heavens lost property.

Fallen archangel.
I am God’s *****.

©rhetoricalcuriosity

Warm evening air tickles my exposed flesh
A person walks by asking me how I am, I respond bleakly- though not reverberating with malice
Dependant is what I would call myself,  though depending on who asks I might be a queen of darkness
Swimming the cesspool captivating minds eye.

Children holding skateboards untouched by nihilistic melodies
Carpe Diem nevertheless since noctem brings the only memories scabbed away midsummer picking the heartbreak off your chest.
Hymns of breath lost kissing a battle with time and isolation.

Familiarity shadowed illusionist mortality
Cradling death of fragility.  
A lone hare hops along the sidewalk and I tell it to stay off the roadway.
The dogs are watching as dusk falls apart once again.
I am but a peddler for your touch.
©rhetoricalcuriosity

The raindrops are falling, masking your tears as you walk out into the rainstorm.
Your clothing is soaked through.
His words ringing out over and over again inside your head.

Too much. Too emotional.
You didn’t know how Gaslighting sounded yet.
You contemplate with thoughts he’s unfaithful as you walk directionless into the storm.
You try to ignore that gut feeling.
He buys you stuff and says he loves you.
He doesn’t have *** with you or touch you.

He won’t notice you’ve left and when you return you’ll pretend your wet face is only because the rain.

“I went for a walk”- you think though you know it won’t even escape your lips.
He never noticed anymore when you’re upset, he focuses his energy elsewhere.
Living inside his cellphone, withholding affection like all your boyfriends had.
Once he caressed your face and told you that he thought you were the most beautiful.

How many times did that line escape his lips with his past partners?
He called you beautiful twice in two years.
“I’ve never loved anyone before, not like this”.
How could you trust again after manipulation so suavely damaging?
Being a sudden caregiver to his child was complicating traumatizing.
You began to shut down and he offered no help.

“What do you expect me to do?”
He can’t ring back motherhood- though you’re just his “live in babysitter” you began to preform parental duties consisting of two parents.
Obliterating your role from caregiver to best friend.
Even though you often abandoned her with me while you were preoccupied with more important stuff than her.
What could have been more important than her?
Oh, right.

I washed everything.
I cleaned every mess.
I patented two children.
One thirty five one the same age of a child I placed for adoption-
You took everything from me.
And then you took the only thing that made me feel whole those years I played housewife.
I mourn the loss of the child I was caregiver to- my ex boyfriends daughter.

And even still- after everything horrible you told people about me.
How insane I was.
How I watched you sleep.
How many times did I wash your clothes.
Trim your fingernails.
Massage your feet.
You ******* coward- a happiness thief (wolf) in sheep’s clothing to blend in with the fragility.

A parcel of conviction.
Sleepless nights wondering if you were out dead- though your **** was messaging the inside of someone else’s ******.
And even still.
You lost everything and I did too.
But I ended up stronger than you.