Lost in the way
I feel about you
Why do I feel this way
I know you don’t feel this way anymore

But I can’t help it
I’ve been in love from the start
My heart is trapped
In the moment we first met

Your laugh your smile
Makes my heart race beyond
The speed of cars
And harder than the
Last gun shots of world war 3

Speaking of history
Ours runs deep
Deeper than the pacific
My love for you is like a everlasting ocean

Built to be indestructible to heartbreak
But wounds have been made
I hate how you move on so quickly
Like the rabbit but sadly I’m a turtle

I’m slow to heal slow to move slow to forget
It’s my nature when I fall I fall hard
I take love seriously
Why do others move quickly

While I move slow
Why do memories stay but people don’t
And if you were gonna just leave anyway
Why not just leave me alone

I lost myself
Broken shattered pieces among pieces
And
I can’t seem to connect the right ones  
It’s sad that I’m broken and I’m still tryna fix others it’s sad that I’m lost in my thoughts

It’s sad my whole life I pretend to be a *****
But my true card is a broken heart
But no one knows cause I dare not wear my sadness I throw punches at life even though it’s a mighty boxer incapable of losing

i never thought I’d fall this hard into my emotions my hatred for myself I’m never happy
I’m never strong I’m weak I’m beyond saving someone save me I’m drowning but I forget that even in a public pool you can drown and nobody will notice it

I knew I shouldn’t have
Fell for the games you play
But I’m a sucker for chess
And your addicted to games
That slowly let you
**** your opponent
Femine predator
You saw my heart
My kindness and used it
To your advantage
Then you broke it
As if it’s a replaceable toy
From a nearby store
and you stay there with a calm face
And then laughed while I cried in agony
Like hurting me was some kinda game
I guess it was a game to you
I realize I meant nothing to late
Now I’m broken trying to fix what you broke
I let you have everything I owned
Because I thought we were together
But it was all a illusion
You were never there to begin with
So now these feelings and memories
Are meaningless trash I always forget
To take out Sunday a meaningless mistake
And I hate how my heart holds on to hope
One day that you’ll walk through that door
and Fix what you broke

You cut my roots down
Which were rooted in the ground
a part of me was killed
bleeding from the wounds you made
severed arteries
like you Something that I needed to live
it’s wrong to hate
But never easy to forgive
because yes the hate it fades
like the heat off a blade
but the pain from  
the games you played never will

In my thoughts
But under the clouds
It seems I’m experiencing the downpour
The short end of the stick
The pain cuts like razor blades
And stings worse than a wasp
but even though I’m drowning in the rain
You save me countless times matter a fact
And the first time you saved I fell
I fell long and hard
Didn’t care about the rejection you’d sing
Or the heartbreak you’d bring
I was blindfolded by my own heart and feelings
Self manipulation
Just because we had same thoughts dreams interest I thought I had a chance at someone
As beautiful as you but I failed I have lost this war this battle to rejection but sadly I can’t leave and it kills my spirit to stay
Because the fact sleeps in my thought
I’ll watch u love another someday
and say I’m happy for you
I wish I could move on
But my feelings stay rooted like a great oak tree impenetrable to the rain and the abuse of nature
your abuse to my feelings as well
I wish that I was a man of great control
But sadly I’m losing everything I once had a grip on the pain is too great
But my feet are still planted I can’t walk away all I can do is watch my worst nightmare play like a true story Movie
because I have to watch u love another and you could care less what it hurts inside me but who am I kidding
I’m a people pleaser I’m doing this to myself but it’s not my fault she turned my greatest strength into a weapon I’m steadily pouring into her and she drinks and doesn’t care if
I die of thirst  if my nights are filled with misery if I  daydream of us kissing or the fact my heart can’t process what’s gonna **** me
Like my kidneys the only choice is too
Die slow and I can’t run fast enough from the inevitable to escape the inevitable and it’s the saddest truth I’ve had to face and know unwillingly

I spend my days
Lying in the bed
Wondering searching through the past
As if it comes back
I wouldn’t mind it afterall
Sure I would experience the heartbreak
The thousands of nights I sat there awake
The days I sat there full of hate
Or the days I wish I could have a redo
On all my mistakes
But I’d also remember
Times like my first kiss
Or the first time I laughed
My first smile
My first crush
The first time I fell in love
And I’d love to crash course
Through the past
I’d do a lot differently
But no words written in stone change
All I’m doing is torturing myself
Meaningless pain
all I’m doing is losing time
I can’t regain
While the mistakes I’ve made
Stay the same