I would give anything to be 15 years old again.
Imagine the things we could've done; imagine who we would've become.

I remember walking down the train tracks while you told me scary stories.
Blasting that music with just the two of us in that party room.
Remember getting in trouble in class for talking too much?
I've changed since you're not around.

Remember all the stupid things we used to do?
You never listened to your parents when they told you not to do something.
How we used to act out just to impress a bunch of girls.
Or how I used to go over to your house for your birthday where your dad made barbecue.

I miss how I cracked jokes and you never laughed
or how you always challenged me to an arm wrestle even though you always lost.
We talked about our future with a blueprint right beside us.
We swore we'd make it out together no matter the cost.
I remember you promised me forever on our field trip sitting there on that yellow school bus.

I remember we used to play outside until the sun went down.
We used to stay up late and watch shows your mom said we couldn't watch.
Or how you stole your brothers xbox so we could play hours on end.
When you always thought that you were so grown.
I remember when you were my friend.

I miss how we used to eat too much junk food
or how you used to always challenge me to an arm wrestle even though you always lost
We swore we'd make it out together, no matter the cost.
My little buddy, I'm not the same, but I hope you're proud.
My little buddy, I'll keep your promise and keep you inside my head until the very end.

This thought of mine
No longer plagues my mind
But still manages to linger on every side

I kept my eyes closed so I wouldn’t have to see that all I was missing was you.
Because anyone who’s had someone rip a piece of them knows that nothing can be wrong if nothing is true.
But I’m tired of living a lie so I want to see this through, with or without you.

The sun will rise and reveal the light
Maybe then, I'll be able to see what's in right in front of me.

These days go by faster as night turns to day  and as summer becomes fall.
The once lively leaves, will soon touch the ground.
And these trees will show us the beauty in letting dead things go.

I'm still waiting on the sun to open up and reveal  the light.
I still can't see what's right in front of me as these nights grow longer and as the days get shorter.
Anger and sorrow are the only things I think of when I remember you.
Summer is over and fall has resurrected.
The trees have let go of the dead things.
And perhaps I should too.

Most people have never felt what I just felt tonight.
A surge of electricity that replaces the blood in your veins.
A rare form of reassurance; makes you feel as though everything will be alright.
An inexplicable rush that numbs the pain.

This cleanser that wipes out every ordeal in the heat of the moment.
This high that makes you feel like you'll never fall.
This field of security that makes you feel like you don't need any improvement.
This jovial drunken state that requires no alcohol at all.

Because what I felt that night wasn't artificial.
That night, I broke the chains and set myself free.
No one can tell me that what we did was superficial.
Because on that night, I was drowning in ecstasy.

We were both stuck in a cage.
The cages bars were wide enough for us to easily escape, but we chose to stay anyways.
We stayed in that cage longer than we needed to.
You, who stayed because you couldn’t see that you could easily escape, begged me to stay.
I, who secretly snuck out of the cage when you fell asleep, stayed for you,
but I’m getting tired of making myself small for you.
You’re stuck in this cage because you’re scared of what’s out there.
You’re scared of change.
You let this cage define you.
I’m no longer sneaking out of this cage.
I won’t come back the next time I leave this place.
I’ll make sure that you see me leave when I do.
Would you join me?

Life’s too short and I’m never present
So I’ll spark this one up
While we sit on the staircase of your apartment
We’re halfway done with it and
I can feel it now so it’s easier to live in the moment.
You asked me to stay for you
But I hate it here and sticking around
Would only lead to resentment.



Tuesdays are the best days
Where I talk to a lady
Who writes what I say onto a paper
And asks after 45 minutes,
“What are your plans for today?”
I give her the same answer,
“All work and no play.”
Anything to keep these thoughts at bay.




If being afraid is a crime, I’d be locked up forever.
So I fly high, away from everyone.
It sometimes makes me feel better.
I occasionally miss the way things were,
But when I look back on things,
We were never truly together.




Life’s too short and I’m never present.
So I’ll spark one up
While we sit on the staircase of your apartment.
We’re halfway done with it and
I can feel it now so it’s easier to live in the moment.




The present is a present, so why am
I always thinking too far ahead?
Work a job, train my *** off,
and sign up to another gym to
keep myself busy, but I end up
feeling like **** instead
Maybe I’ll feel better once I go to bed and rest my head.
If I go to sleep quick enough, I’ll forget about all those tears I shed.
I won’t cry over things I can’t control anymore.
It’s not like anybody knows what lies ahead.




Life’s too short and I want to be present.
I hate that I have to spark it up to live in the moment.
One day, I’ll be able to look back on things and feel content.
Laugh a little and feel a little less absent.
But for now, I’ll spark one up with you in the staircase of your apartment.
I’ll feel it soon and then I’ll be able to live in the moment.