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817 · Sep 2013
sweet home alabama
Redshift Sep 2013
i try very hard not to fall in love with certain boys
boys that think i am a ball of yarn they can string along
care free
i get snarled
too easily
might be
the ginger in me

i especially avoid all boys with guitars
my heart is a six string
and they've got the pick
i don't like that

never fall for trumpet players, either
the myth about them being good kissers is false

i like rough and ready boys
with dirt under their fingernails
and autumn breezes in their hair
they catch up those green fields
in their eyes
look at me with them
and i
can't resist
that one
for some ******* reason

everyone says
"get a boyfriend, red"
but there aren't any boys in this small town
that are like that
and dad says
don't fall in love with southern boys
...sorry dad, these northern boys won't do
but the northern girls with the way they kiss...they keep their boyfriends up at night.
816 · Oct 2013
cutting out
Redshift Oct 2013
the great dilemma:
not becoming our parents.

but it's genetic make-up
we're ******
either way
you'll end up being your parents
you can't stop it.

it makes all the impossible
possible
things you said you'd never do
you'll find yourself sitting in the middle of

my mom is my face
and my bad knees
and my anger
and how much i cry
she's the cuts on my arms
and the shape of my fingernails
the curl of my toes
my weakness for underdogs...
my mom's inside me
like a parasite

i will cut her out
813 · Jul 2013
don't listen to me
Redshift Jul 2013
i am a little in love
mind you...
only a LITTLE
with a deaf boy...

he says things with his eyes
you wouldn't believe
and touches me
like you would never understand
i don't even
understand
he is so sweet

i have never liked boys
who don't hear me out
who don't listen to me
it is
mind-boggling

words are
overrated
ive never met a deaf person. he is a wonderfully handsome sweetheart...he just can't hear me. and for once, i love it.
Redshift Feb 2013
today
all the little yellow cubbies are full,
and i cannot breathe.
i'm walking
quickly
knees bending
boots scuffing
head down
my throat is closing
constricting
choking.
i can't remember how my face looks
i'm afraid the panic inside me
is creeping out
everyone
is looking
at me.

some kid
is sitting in my cubby
playing a game on his phone
not caring that i
NEED that cubby
i am lost
without it.
i want to pick him up
throw him out
run
away.

i go down one isle of books
up another...
trying to look
like i belong
my chest is a black hole
******* in all the faces
shoes
clothes
hair
multiplying them
until i cannot breathe
i can't ever just be me
i have to be
what they want to see


help.
807 · Jul 2013
Milo
Redshift Jul 2013
i am so tired
of staring at these four walls
that define my existence
but whenever i leave them
i wish i was
in their stranglehold
embrace.
everyone wants to know
why i won't do this
or why i don't do that
or why i can't sleep
and i always tell them
that there is nothing wrong with me at all
and that would be true
if the small movies
of my childhood
didn't play against my eyelids
every time i try
to rest my tired
spine
daddy,
i am not
fine.
"There was once a boy named Milo who didn't know what to do with himself — not just sometimes, but always.

When he was in school he longed to be out, and when he was out he longed to be in. On the way he thought about coming home, and coming home he thought about going. Wherever he was he wished he were somewhere else, and when he got there he wondered why he'd bothered. Nothing really interested him — least of all the things that should have."
Redshift Sep 2013
i have a thing for vengeance.

i like to watch people reap what they sow
i like to watch evil human beings eat **** for what they've done
i enjoy it.

and that sounds kind of ******* messed up
sort of
but at the same time
i love to see good, kind people
succeed
does that still make me bad?

my dad says that my gift of justice needs to be redeemed
that i have so much trouble forgiving people
because i refuse to give up the right to vengeance
that vengeance is the lord's...
i get that,
dad.
but i don't want to wait
for these ******* to die
before they get
what they've sent around
and i don't want to watch
the few good people on this earth
die before
they feel alright
for once

i am a fighter
i can't help but fight
someone once told me that's why i'm single
i said
*******, man
803 · Jun 2013
"speech...speech!!"
Redshift Jun 2013
i have learned very well
how to be awake.
my best teacher
and the one that was most interested
in seeing me succeed
was
Nightmare
along with his mentor
Trauma
and their friend
D
i
v
o
r
c
e
.
.
.

...they have taught me well enough
to make sure
i will never sleep
again
they have helped Tired
unpack from the back of my mind
and move into the new space
that just became available
behind my eyes
they have really
been looking out for me
every single day
these last two years
and i really owe my success
to them.

Divorce,
Trauma,
and
Nightmare,
you are excellent
at what you
do
and i commend you
for your
diligence
i never sleep. my mind is tired. i can no longer find peace.
Redshift Feb 2013
Today someone told me
that i don't write poetry
i write random ****
in verse
and then they went on to say
that i'm an insult to humanity
love
war
peace
happiness
all that good stuff

i just kind of agreed
i don't like to argue
with me
801 · Aug 2013
war paint
Redshift Aug 2013
if i wanted to have a sweet face
i would paint one
on.

but i want a face like a wolf.

so i slant my eyes with coal
and redden my lips
with blood.
life is a war fought with tears.
800 · Dec 2013
ryan, the necrophiliac
Redshift Dec 2013
you say
"youre a ******* fool, red"
and i say
yes i ******* am
for talking to you again
only an idiot
would trust the words of a boy on the internet

you are sweet boy, ryan
sweet like a wolf who wants his way
sweet like a bird of
prey

i will not let you cut a piece of my arm away
again
even after three years
the old ones are still red
no more messing with my aching head
im already dead
what could you possibly want from me
this time?
800 · May 2013
empty red target life
Redshift May 2013
you and me,
little sister
must learn to talk
without words
words mess everything up
words like
mom
and
dad
like
abandoned
abused
anxiety
hate.
little sister
how shall we fix this
how could we
ever?
how can you fix
something that doesn't
belong to you?
when mom and dad won't talk
we feel the need
to talk for them
but to each other,
instead
little sister,
we cannot
use words
but i don't know any other way
to speak.
little sister,
help me.
Redshift Apr 2013
my cat ate
my bestfriend's
hair-bow
the one she
let me borrow
apparently
sorry
isn't good enough
Redshift Oct 2013
i know that i am hurting you
by staying away,
but mommy hurts me, too.
she cannot tell me that she doesn't give a **** for me
and then send me texts
telling me
she is missing me
praying for me
loving me
half an hour away
this time i'm the one that doesn't give a ****,
mom.

oh, little brother.
oh, little sister.
i know i am hurting you
i know that i can count the times i have visited you this year
on one hand
i know you miss me
please know
that i am sorry
i will try harder
i am not helping anything
by hiding

mother will see me
but i will not see her
she's the dragon in my dreams
as a child
encompassing everything i love in her scaled hands
and long teeth
holding them
away from me
i will get what i love back
that is a promise
even if i have to
****
things
like
me
795 · Mar 2013
premeditated accident
Redshift Mar 2013
four thousand
different dreams about you
last night
you stalked through them
like you owned the place
(...maybe you do...)
so many different places
positions
smiles
back-drops
all because
you held me last night
on accident
just to see
how it felt
Redshift Oct 2013
there are things in this world that aren't ******* fair
like children who believe they have ADD
and avoid dealing with what they really have.
like mothers who tell their children lies
about fathers
like children who adopt monsters that don't belong to them
personas that they try on like sparkly ballet flats
writing poems about being abused
and having ADD
and a ****** life
some children are wrong.
and i only know because i am their sister
children learn to tell lies
it's not their fault
i must remember not to blame them
but it is hard
there are people in this world who were truly abused
and you, sisters
befoul their anguish
with your wolf-cries.
i will never know how many times i must say this
but you weren't ******* abused
and you don't have ADD
and your mother is a ******* liar
i love you both
but i cannot listen
any more.
792 · Sep 2013
i don't read much poetry
Redshift Sep 2013
poets like to use words like

clandestine

lucid

illusive

discombobulated

epoch


but i still think a good old fashioned

"*******"

goes a long way
792 · Aug 2013
read the de-sctructions
Redshift Aug 2013
i blame a lot.
i blame myself
i blame the people around me
i blame the people that left me
i blame this town
i blame my family
i blame
i blame
i blame.

but what if no one is to blame.
what if this actually is just some freak of nature
and this is just how the universe plays out
a sick dance of broken family trees
a pageant frilled up
for all the soul ******* humans
to see
and partake
maybe i was meant to be awake
maybe sleep isn't for me
for a reason
maybe i'm supposed to be the alive one
maybe dying makes you breathe
maybe i'm just not seeing
what i'm supposed to see
maybe everything is backwards
like my sister's overalls
at her backwards birthday party
when we were
three
maybe
maybe
maybe...

maybe destruction is actually


d       e             s              t             i      n         y
790 · Mar 2014
why cutters cut
Redshift Mar 2014
i have lost feeling on the bottom of my right foot.
i stepped on a broken something
and its sharp edge cut my nerves.
it is one of many.
790 · Feb 2013
Sky's the limit.
Redshift Feb 2013
stop making me watch scary movies
life is scary enough
but tell me that you love me...
and i'll watch anything you want

it would be so much easier
if we weren't afraid to hold one another
afraid to say things that we've thought
a million times
you always make a show of being so tough skinned...

for having seen so many
horror movies
i wouldn't ever guess
you were so afraid.
Redshift Feb 2013
say you love me
do it!
quickly
before we forget.
stop delaying
i know you are!
just say it.
i know it's hard
we're far
apart
but our love...
it's stretchy.
it could reach...
a big ole rubber band
across the sky
sort of like a rainbow
only not as pretty.

if you're just playing around with me,
stop.
i'm not a wind up toy
if you drop me
you'll hurt me
stop.

sky,
if you love me
tell me.
so we can stop pretending
we don't know what's going on
it's not just physics
it's not just chemistry
it's gravity.
786 · Oct 2013
faces and books
Redshift Oct 2013
it would be so much easier if i could just click your face for a like
double click for a heart
in real life
i'd sit in a bus and spend all my time liking faces
or not liking certain faces
then it'd be clear for once what i think of you
and if a little drop down appeared that gave me the option to comment
and leave words across the bridge of your nose
like
"this girl is a ******* *****"
or
"be nice to her, her brother rapes her every night"
i think it'd help us all out
because words are now our only form of communication
can't do anything without 'em
if you're **** with words you won't make it
body language is on the back-burner

you don't understand a ******* word i'm saying
can't take the hint to leave me alone
i'm glad you like my face
but we can't communicate,
facebook boy

for being so obsessed with faces and books
we don't do much with either
can't understand smiles
for the life of us
take it the wrong way
90% of the time
i like faces
and i like books
but you only like them
together
781 · Jul 2013
all is fair in love and war
Redshift Jul 2013
i don't write
love poems.
love doesn't
make sense to me
i get tired of people
too easily.
i don't see beauty
in the curvature
of a neck
i see the muscles
of a monster
ready to flex
i don't see
a beautiful smile
i see lips
that can do too many
acrobatic
flips
i don't see soft hands
or rough calluses
i see
weapons
of mass
demands...

they are not pretty
to me.

love is a war
and not the kind about good and evil
the kind simply about
staying alive
and being whatever you have to be
to do so.
it's not about seeing
the beauty in flaws
it's about exposing them
and running away
from them
love has turned us all
into killers
who are forever out for fresh blood
forever looking
for more

...my mother always said
all is fair
in love
and
war
780 · Apr 2013
existence is futile
Redshift Apr 2013
i'm
pointless
like the shape of the earth,
rounded
without any
resolve...
floating away.

too many things
are kidnapped by my gravity
(a gravity i wish i didn't have)
and made to revolve
around me.

existence
is futile
but must be done
for if i die...

everything dies
i haven't the heart to **** everything.
779 · Jun 2013
drew-ing
Redshift Jun 2013
i think i just
fell in love
with a boy named drew
on total accident
oops
Redshift Mar 2013
so uhm
this is awkward
....
i spent four months
writing poetry
about some ***
i've been sort of in love with
(hell, i dunno)
and then suddenly
that guy
who i proposed to
in a mall
with a
fuzzy
cat
collar
is looking pretty good
he wanted to hold my hand
tonight
well,
skye,
you snooze
you lose
776 · Sep 2013
fair trade
Redshift Sep 2013
give me that sweet summer
goodbye stain on your lips
and i'll give you
half my smile
so you'll keep coming back
for more.
776 · Feb 2013
deceiving dreams
Redshift Feb 2013
last night i dreamed
that we took that great
flying leap
at last.
i dreamed
you met my mother
and that you loved her...
even though i still can't.

i dreamed that you kissed me
on a couch that contained
every thought we'd refrained
from speaking
that at last they had a being
a shape.

i dreamed that you held a lock
of my thick red hair
curled it around your finger
enjoying how it glinted gold
in the lamp light.
i dreamed that we enjoyed
every piece of each other
like a cheesecake
to be savored
i dreamed that all you wanted to do
was kiss my nose
laugh
smile
tickle
tackle
breathe.

i dreamed last night
that we both wanted to be held
like so many times before
and we kidded and joked
that since there was no one else around
darling,
you'd have to do
but once done
you wouldn't let go
and i realized
that you never
wanted
to.
Redshift Apr 2013
my blood boils
these days
i've reached
my breaking point
at any given moment
i'm ready to tear into someone
i am sick
of everything
being unfair
of being ****** over
by everyone
the family court
the law
my mom...
i'm done with it.
i'm tired of my little sister
advocating
for that *****
i will not
put up with it.
this ends
along with
my silence
i am a silent shout
a silent poem
a silent rage
no more
i cannot
be contained
**YOU WILL HEAR
WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.
773 · Feb 2013
dafuq did i just read
Redshift Feb 2013
what the **** did i just read
some famous german short story
about a guy waking up turned into
a bug
his family freaks out
and thinks he's gross
and then he dies
i have an exam on this tomorrow
analyzing and interpreting
the meaning behind it all
i guess if you wake up as a bug someday
just **** yourself
or your family will do it for you
what the ****
Redshift Dec 2013
you scare me.

not like elliot scared me -
he was frightening because of the sweetness of his smile
you are frightening
because you are a sweetness that lies

your calm
cool
demeanor
the way you laugh,
call me silly pet names
puts a bad taste in my mouth
a sick feeling in my stomach
ryan,
you are a wolf

it's been almost three years
since you sunk your teeth into me
i came close to forgetting
until i found an old conversation
started second guessing
even though i had made a note
that said
"never let yourself again,
red"
i
read
it
and now, once more
the lamb has walked into
the lions den
i shouldn't talk to him. he took advantage of me when i was the most vulnerable. he is a ******* *******. but now i'm in trouble...
768 · Aug 2013
pillar of salt
Redshift Aug 2013
if i have ever learned anything
"don't look back"
is the one
that would serve me best
if i let it.

but things aren't easy like that
humans can't just let the burning city rest
they have to turn around,
check
that it's
leaving
see if
anyone's still breathing.

the poor ******* that second guess
are the ones who don't get blessed
you've failed the easiest test,
red
now you're in trouble
again
i know not to go back and read things i wrote when mom first left. it makes me want to cut up my arms.
768 · Sep 2013
dear jessie
Redshift Sep 2013
you say
let me use your shower
i say
ok
you say
watch my baby so i can hang out with my boyfriend
i say
ok
you say
i'm hungry
i say
i'll make you something to eat
you say
i need someone to talk to
i say
ok
you say
i need somewhere to stay
i say
ok
you say
just hold him for a minute
i say
ok
you say
watch him while i do this
i say
ok
you say
i love you
you're my bestfriend
i say
ok
you say
help
i say
ok
i say
help me my hair is falling out sometimes i can't breathe i think i'm going crazy i'm cutting my arms open mom won't talk to me i don't sleep doctors say i need
to learn how to be calm
you say
i'm busy today
764 · Mar 2014
bloodstain flowers
Redshift Mar 2014
bloodstains are pretty
like flowers for people who are sad
or stars for people who are too in love
or little redheaded girls
who are too afraid
763 · Sep 2013
a thief, but never petty
Redshift Sep 2013
don't try to hide it from me
i've already seen it
that's not yours
you took it
don't try to say i gave it to you,
i didn't
don't lie
confess
say that you took it from me
no, you cannot have it
not even if you admit
that you took it without permission
give it here.
right now
stop stalling
that is mine
it's not your plaything
i want it back
one
two...
if i get to three
you'll be in trouble
one...
two...

three.
i used to scold children the same way. are lovers children?
760 · Feb 2013
3rd Failure on the Left
Redshift Feb 2013
Hi, Hoss,
This is a poem.
I know you’re not really familiar
With yknow…poems
But you’re going to listen
To this one.

First off, I’d like to say
That you’re pompous
That your head couldn’t fit
Through a 90 foot wide door
That I don’t give a ****
About the proper usage of “Your”…

That your beard really isn’t very cool
That I wouldn’t ever braid it
That you’re kind of…a tool...
That if I ever chopped it off
Your personality
Would be at such a loss
You’d probably shrivel into a heap...

In reality,
No one wants to marry some ****
Just because he can grow ***** hair
From his chin.
759 · Jun 2015
stockholm syndrome
Redshift Jun 2015
i miss him.

why do i miss him?
how
can i miss him
after everything?

one dream last night, after weeks and months of torture
and i remember the good parts
and these new boys will not do
i stop letting them talk to me
i miss him
i miss that man that took advantage of my innocence.
i truly miss him.
and right now,
in this moment
i know i would take him back.
758 · Jan 2015
blankets
Redshift Jan 2015
i remember being scared that my father would discover i cut myself.
i remember the day that he did.
trying to cram the screaming baby into his highchair dad saw the mark on my arm and i told him
it was from a marker
he demanded to see it again
and so dad found out that sometimes praying isn't enough.

i don't remember being afraid that dad would find out about the things moose did to me
...i guess i can't say that
i guess i have to say the things we did together
(but i will always lay the blame at his feet
for beginning things
that first night.)
even now, i am not afraid
even now when i truly believe that dad knows what happened
even now when dad gently pats me before he goes up to bed
and says don't forget
to
repent
i am not afraid.
i am ashamed.
758 · Aug 2013
assassin
Redshift Aug 2013
i have nothing to say to you.
just let me
shoot you with this lovegun
i know it looks like a sawed-off shotgun
but it'll only hurt afterwards, i swear
758 · Dec 2013
am i a mis-take
Redshift Dec 2013
people make mistakes.
mothers leave
and break up families
leaving them scattered like glass in kmart
parking lots
but it's ok,
people make mistakes.
mothers leave
and children pick up bent pieces
and try to save them
but sometimes they run out

people make mistakes.
mothers leave...
babies cry
on christmas eve

people make
mis
takes
756 · Dec 2014
blasphemy
Redshift Dec 2014
lost everything in one year.

it's alright, im used to it.
lost everything before,
will lose everything again,
most likely.

not a sacred bone
left in me
a desecrated temple
a ravaged flower
a broken urn.
nothing left to fill
nothing left to taste
sawdust,
luke warm water
in his mouth
he will spit me
out.
755 · Apr 2013
our deliverer is coming
Redshift Apr 2013
where chains
and the bite of a whip
once dug into our backs
and our shoulders,
backpacks
now leave chafed ruts
in their stead.
taskmasters
bid us to bake our own bread
if we want to eat
pass this exam
if we want to keep
our families
we will be taken
and beaten
if we do not comply
GPA:
the silent
torturer.
754 · Apr 2013
etch a sketch shake
Redshift Apr 2013
squiggle
wiggle
etch
sketch
shake shake shake.
make a box
long lines
paint some
"i'm fine"s
shake shake shake.
if i could define
the rhyme
and meter
of my life
there'd be a knife
in there
somewhere
shake shake shake.
break
broken
breaker
empty
lake
shake shake shake.
rattle the sand
inside of me
mix it up
try to hide me
shake shake shake.
kick the wall
say "**** it"
cry in the hall
of your school
get laughed at by some tool
in skinny jeans
quake
shake shake shake.
retake
try to erase
that last mistake
(who's to blame?)
remake
everything
but it's not the same
shake
shake
                                          
    
                 s                                   a                                         e
           h                                       k
754 · Jun 2013
sick
Redshift Jun 2013
i lie on my bed in a big L
and try to think about
what made me
me
stare my vanity
in the face
realize
that years
of precision makeup
layered on
like the rings on the inside
of a tree
are what made my personality
and that the varying degrees of ******
that i look like each day
dictate
my happiness
and that i am sick of
humans
754 · Jun 2013
artistic (?)
Redshift Jun 2013
it would be
wonderful
little sister
if you would explain to me
the inner most workings
of you and your
reality
that you have so carefully
painted
in your pictures
and in your face
you have always been
so good
at painting
i guess i shouldn't be
surprised
that you are also so good
at lying
little sister,
this is not my fault
and you
know it.
i wish that i had been nicer to her as a child. i wish that i could see her now and have everything the way it was before mom left. but now everything is different and no one ever knows what the truth is and i'm ******* sick of guessing.
753 · Oct 2013
keep yourself warm
Redshift Oct 2013
i found you on the side of the road
like a bright, yellow leaf that just left its home
a shiny penny in the gutter
drowning in the street.
you didn't want to be collected
but good luck getting away without any feet
i won't let you leave
me.

if i ever become a mother
i will clip my wings
and do my best to stay grounded.
my mother -
a flightless bird
got away despite everything
but i will let you put me in a cage
if we have to
i will not
leave you

i promise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8fVX41-Njg
753 · Jun 2013
here, let me explain.
Redshift Jun 2013
red
red
red,
they say.

why don't you get what we're trying to say?
why don't you try to do what we tell you?
why won't you talk to us?
why won't you listen
to reason?

honey
baby
darling
red?

because
the people that taught you to talk
are relative
to stone
walruses

because
i will not walk off a cliff
and willingly
smash against the harbor

because
you misplaced
your ears
and sewed them
onto
your brain

because
i wouldn't give you
a dog i didn't like
and you wouldn't take it,
anyway

because
what you define as reason
simply
isn't
if i could speak.
Redshift Sep 2013
i will clean my room tonight
and wonder if this is the last time
a man has to come and look it over.
maybe next time we will own this house
and i won't have to worry
about being kicked out
because we can't pay.
i used to own a big yellow house
an old one
with a green roof
and sunshine-smiles peppering the air
now it is a war zone
mommy made it that way.

i will find home someday
home is where the heart is
when i find my heart i will know
where to look
my heart piece is somewhere in that dungeon
i will take my sword and find it
i love the legend of zelda.
Redshift Sep 2013
i look at you like a broken kaleidoscope that i had as a child.
though it was broken
i convinced mom to let me keep it
because kaleidoscopes are ok to keep when they break
they're confusing and ****** up to begin with
the picture never made sense anyway
so spiderweb-y cracks aren't noticed
it still looks pretty
when you look through it
kaleidoscopes are really good at looking pretty
i could look for a long time
and not get bored
even when it was broken
it still looked
pretty

you are my broken kalediscope
751 · Sep 2013
dear stammerers
Redshift Sep 2013
i will collect all the words you miss-spoke
it's alright,
i like them.
sincerity comes easy to you -
taking into consideration how much effort it takes to talk in the first place
you figure that you might as well say something that's ******* honest.

i like people who have stammers.
750 · Jun 2013
lynched
Redshift Jun 2013
today
my heart
is sad
sad like a big droopy face
is painted right over it
covering it
all.
i spent the day
an hour away
deep in the country
with a big, barefooted family
that i love
out in the sunshine
near a lake
and i could not help
but look at them
together
and remember what it was like
to be together
with my
family

but i'll not expand on that.
it is too hard
too painful
to expand on
to remember
to think about
at all
so i push these thoughts
back down deep
into the blender
of my mind
pray that someday
they will be easier
to swallow
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