it's no use hiding yourself
hiding your stomach or your hands or your thighs
because you are afraid they're too fat
it's no use
he will like you if he likes you
it doesn't matter how long he holds you
he holds everyone that long
don't be afraid
he's got other girls he talks to.
be what you are
or be nothing
let your stomach hang out
and the wrong side of your face show
don't care if he leaves after he hugs you
be what you are
or be nothing

your eyes are cool steely pools
of pure ***

the drunk man says
what the sober man thinks?

if i just were more confident
if i just were sweeter
if my voice were higher
if my stomach smaller
if my face a better shape
if my laugh a better laugh
if i just adjusted to your every need
like the way you tune my guitar
on my bed
singing to me
(is it to me, or all the girls on my floor?
nightmares argue the case
frightfully)
if only
if only
if only
i was what he wants
i don't even know how to begin

out of my league
like a man holding a gun to my chest
your eyes crinkle
lovingly
loading bullets
between my eyes
out of my league
like a dog with sharp teeth
me,
an overweight ragdoll that you shake
playfully
out of my league
like you're just here to be exposed to someone better
i know the feeling
it's okay
i cut the heartstrings
i'm not even sure if they grow anymore.

do i really prefer blind adoration over quality
because i am frightened to not be the one in control
of who leaves who

twinkle in the field
looked at my face one second too long
was something there?
i didn't see it

it's been a while since i've felt worthless.

you didn't do it on purpose

been a while since i cared

if someone liked another girl better

this sounds like a bad taylor swift song

but the sinking energy

and the sleepy ache

the tired unhappiness

i remember it

i usually cried

i don't cry anymore

because no one matters to me

least of all you

i knew i couldn't have you

i don't get to have things that are pretty or worthwhile

too ugly

too sad.