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Give me
The step-by-step;
I am losing it.
Roads a blur,
Lanes pitch black.
I chase each road,
Not ever sure
Where it’ll go.

Reaching an end
With trembling hands,
Who knows where
Life will let me land?
The signs
I knew
Now fading within mist.

Do my dreams even exist?
My compass won’t spin.
I need a change in steps.
My life is still running
On no maps.
just free flow writing :)
One petal left—
But the rose doesn’t cry.
On petal left—
Yet the rose still try’s.
One petal left—
But color still radiates.
Hope is what powers,
The rose,  
No matter the fate.
This spiral im in,
Each wave that comes,
I just need to wait
For the meds—
To make me numb.
Just the waiting game…not ever sure if these meds even work….
Only my dad- p2
——————

Only my dad
Comes home at night
Tiredness strewn
Bout his face
Exhaustion
Sunken in his eyes
But still it barely leaves a trace
He smiles
And chuckles
At all the accomplishments
Of that day
While venting
About the work
That took him all
Day
Then comforts and guides
On the struggles
That unfold
He’s strong
He’s brave
His love like no other
His role as father
Guides once again
As life throws turns
No one foretold
His mind
And words comforting
And bold
His love
Like a dove
Guiding a path
Along a rode
Of danger
When we lost the map.
Only my dad
Whose mind
Goes beyond
Only my dad
Who’s fearlessness Is strong
Only my dad
Who constantly loves
Beyond words
I love you dad more than you could know
Actually…more than that…
I love you to infinity and beyond
From head to toe
Crying.
Shouting.
Laughing
Talking.

All things chanting,
All this tapping.
All the buzzing.
The beeping,
The music,
The breeze.

All things overstimulating,
In my Brain.
jumbled thoughts,
Yelling voices,
Seeing things,
That aren't there.

all things come together,
Things intertwined.
Like a out of tune harmony,
Now I'm stuck listening,
Seeing.
feeling.
It all is so--
overstimulating.
Thanks Kathy (my family friend) for the idea, when I *** in writers block :)
My stomach is a coffin,
Holding each meal.
Waiting to explode out of the casket,
Rejecting what my body needs the most.
My nausea is the funeral,
Coming like waves.
On a stormy day.
Locking me in for hours.
No escape.
My pain is the graveyard.
Bones and ghosts haunt my past
And hurt my future.
They yell and mock,
No matter what they talk.
My brain— the tears,
Running down my face like rain,
As my body feels like a knife plunging into me.
Late nights, and early mornings of shooting, stabbing pain
That won't give up for a second.
No avail.
I don't want to live with this pain,
This nausea,
The throwing up.
My demon mocks, “It got ya.”
The dizzy, and headaches,
The late nights, and early mornings,
The nightmares and flashbacks,
All the times I felt faint,
The time I fainted—
I don't want to live like this.
I need help to find a way.
Whether it's meds, appointments, or therapy,
As long as no one blames it all on something
Completely out of order.
I'm running into a border—
A wall,
A blockage.
I fall.
I trip.
I get shoved.
Will I fit in?
Into this place?
Will I make stupid mistakes?
Will I be betrayed?
Pain is something I don't take lightly.
I used to keep it hidden,
I used to use a mask.
But now that I'm open about it,
People think I'm attention-seeking
When I'm just trying to communicate,
When I don't know exactly how yet.
Sure—I've told lies,
I've made a disguise.
I'm trying to change.
I have made a mistake.
I'm human, I do that sometimes.
I'm willing to take responsibility for my actions.
I just need someone to listen.
Because I'm sick of living in a black hole,
Feeling like a knife is plunging into my stomach with each cramp,
Each sting.
The nausea is the other thing it brings.
I just need someone to listen.
And I need help with many things.
So many…
Like pain.
Pride month.
Flags of all kind,
Hoping to find someone else,
Who wears there flag proud.
As I only have 2 friends,
Who I know,
That share there story and beliefs,
Proud.
I want to be that person too.
So I’m writing this to talk.
That it’s okay to speak up,
It’s ok to be yourself.
You don’t have to hide,
And be someone else.
Your flag.
Your beliefs.
Are you,
Your own person.
So let yourself shine.
Let yourself,
Love,
Cry,
Laugh,
Get mad,
Get upset,
Because it’s okay,
And I’ll always be here to talk.
I’ll always be by your side,
Just…
Let yourself,
have pride.
-ender rhyme:
Surrender, tender, blender, defender, pretender, sender, lender, mender, offender, contender, fender, spender, ender, extender, gender, render, recommender, suspender, transponder, vendor, slender, ******, co-defender.

-at rhyme:
Cat, hat, bat, rat, sat, flat, mat, that, chat, pat, spat, gnat, brat, fat, splat, combat, format, acrobat, diplomat.

-eep rhyme:
Deep, sleep, keep, creep, beep, leap, peep, steep, weep, sheep, cheap, sweep, reap, heap, jeep, asleep, upkeep, oversleep.

-ake rhyme:
Lake, make, take, fake, bake, wake, snake, break, stake, quake, ache, cake, shake, remake, mistake, heartbreak, forsake.

-ight rhyme:
Light, night, sight, might, tight, right, flight, bright, height, kite, write, bite, delight, insight, excite, ignite, recite, rewrite, polite.

-ell rhyme:
Bell, well, tell, fell, sell, smell, shell, spell, yell, dwell, excel, compel, repel, dispel, cartel, farewell.

-own rhyme:
Down, crown, town, frown, brown, gown, noun, clown, renown, drown, shakedown, breakdown, showdown.

-ore rhyme:
More, store, floor, core, door, sore, lore, before, explore, restore, implore, adore, encore, galore, offshore.

-ay rhyme:
Day, say, way, may, play, stay, gray, spray, clay, bay, delay, display, obey, okay, array, hooray, stray, dismay.

-ing rhyme:
Sing, bring, ring, king, wing, thing, string, swing, cling, fling, bling, spring, zing, everything, anything, nothing.

-and rhyme:
Hand, sand, land, band, stand, grand, brand, expand, command, understand, reprimand, demand.

-eed rhyme:
Need, feed, seed, greed, speed, read, lead, deed, bleed, proceed, succeed, agreed, mislead, indeed.

-ime rhyme:
Time, rhyme, crime, prime, climb, chime, dime, slime, sublime, overtime, meantime.

-ear rhyme:
Dear, near, clear, fear, tear, year, cheer, appear, revere, sincere, pioneer, interfere.

-own rhyme:
Crown, town, down, brown, frown, gown, noun, clown, renown, drown, pronoun.

-air rhyme:
Fair, care, dare, share, bear, wear, stair, pair, glare, rare, spare, repair, aware, declare, affair.

-ide rhyme:
Ride, side, tide, wide, pride, glide, hide, slide, inside, outside, collide, divide, abide.

-ool rhyme:
Cool, pool, school, rule, tool, stool, fuel, jewel, drool, ghoul, fool, duel.

-ite rhyme:
Fight, light, right, tight, night, sight, flight, might, white, kite, rewrite, delight.

-all rhyme:
Ball, call, fall, hall, mall, tall, wall, stall, small, install, recall.

-ock rhyme:
Rock, sock, clock, block, knock, mock, shock, dock, flock, unlock, stock.

-ay rhyme (continued):
Fray, delay, relay, essay, repay, midway, subway, ballet, buffet, okay, hooray.

-ush rhyme:
Rush, hush, crush, blush, flush, brush, plush, slush, thrush, gush.

-an rhyme:
Man, pan, fan, tan, plan, scan, clan, began, ran, can, van, span, woman.

-ent rhyme:
Sent, bent, rent, tent, meant, spent, invent, relent, ascent, dissent, percent.

-old rhyme:
Cold, bold, hold, gold, fold, mold, told, sold, rolled, behold, uncontrolled.

ain rhyme:
Rain, pain, gain, train, brain, main, chain, plain, strain, remain, explain, domain, refrain, sustain, complain, attain.

-uck rhyme:
Luck, stuck, truck, duck, muck, pluck, yuck, cluck, struck, tuck, shuck, ****, conduct, construct.

-ash rhyme:
Cash, dash, flash, trash, clash, rash, smash, splash, ****, stash, backlash, rehash.

-ent rhyme:
Lent, bent, sent, rent, tent, meant, spent, cement, relent, event, prevent, dissent.

-est rhyme:
Best, rest, test, nest, west, chest, guest, quest, invest, suggest, attest, contest.

-ick rhyme:
Stick, pick, kick, lick, quick, thick, brick, slick, trick, chick, click, flick, mystic, arithmetic.

-ame rhyme:
Name, game, same, flame, fame, shame, blame, frame, claim, exclaim, became, inflame.

-oon rhyme:
Moon, spoon, soon, tune, balloon, cartoon, cocoon, raccoon, monsoon, harpoon.

-ump rhyme:
Jump, bump, lump, pump, stump, dump, clump, thump, trump, jumpstart.

-ite rhyme (new words):
Bite, site, spite, excite, contrite, incite, unite, invite, finite, rewrite, oversight.

-ean rhyme:
Mean, bean, clean, lean, teen, queen, keen, green, screen, unseen, machine, routine, serene.

-oy rhyme:
Boy, toy, joy, coy, ploy, employ, destroy, enjoy, decoy, alloy.

-ob rhyme:
Job, sob, blob, rob, mob, fob, throb, ****, snob, hobnob.

-ug rhyme:
Bug, rug, hug, mug, tug, snug, plug, drug, shrug, unplug, smug.

-edge rhyme:
Hedge, edge, wedge, dredge, pledge, allege, fledge, knowledge (slant rhyme), sledge.

-ear rhyme (new batch):
Year, ear, clear, spear, sear, smear, appear, engineer, frontier, revere, volunteer.

-ap rhyme:
Map, nap, cap, gap, tap, sap, clap, trap, lap, slap, wrap, mishap.

-ow rhyme:
Now, how, cow, brow, plow, vow, allow, somehow, endow, avow, disallow.

-ean rhyme (continued):
Scene, marine, cuisine, caffeine, vaccine, obscene, unseen, intervene, tambourine.
“Sea Blazer”
——————-
They say the sea sinks whoever crosses the waters. But the Sea Blazer? Too bright—too strong—too loved—to sink.
A ship of courage born from the heart of the sea. Not even cannons can sink the Sea Blazer.
Even so—we haven’t seen the Night Jaw in a year. We still keep a lookout as we know there’s always lurking in the night. Wake swears he saw its black sail in the fog last moon. Zen says the Night Jaw isn’t a ship. It’s a “grave with teeth.”
If it ever catches us… the Sea Blazer is strong enough—WE are strong enough.
Sea salt runs in my veins—
From every scar,
Every ****,
Etched into my skin
Like pencil to paper
On a map.
They left me on the docks. Blood dripping from gashes in my body, a broken compass in my hand—rusted, worn from years of use.
The sea took me in—not kindly—but I keep fighting to be free.
I don’t sail the seas alone. Seventeen crewmates call the Sea Blazer home. Each one knows the rhythm of the waves, the boards of the ship, the soul of the sails, and the path of each shore—by heart.
Each one—family. Broken, battered, but loved.
As their captain, I treat them with the respect of sons and daughters. We all have one mission—to find the Night Jaw, **** its crew, and retrieve the Blaze Stone from the Night Jaw’s crew.
The Sea Blazer doesn’t look for treasure, doesn’t sail to ****; it’s after completing this mission. The Blaze Stone—I was attacked in my hometown, left to die by the docks—still with my compass. But they stole the Blaze Stone from my locket and sailed away after torturing my friends—now my crew.
The gem holds the power to control all bodies of water, including the “Ember Sea,” the sea attached to my home. Without the gem, those who travel, live, and enjoy the seas are not safe from the waves, tide, and whirlpools.
Night Jaw’s crew controls the Blaze Stone, raining havoc on all seas—making it impossible to sail, get resources, or live life without fear of flooding from the sea.
To get the Blaze Stone, we need to **** the captors and crew of Night Jaw, retrieve the gem’s orders to protect the seas, and get revenge for the pain of me and my friends.
THIS is OUR mission aboard the Sea Blazer.
On board to complete this mission and secure our waters is…—
Rynn — First Mate
Mack — Anchor Mate
June — Navigator
James — Helmsman
Acker — Gunner
Fate — Lookout
Penny — Quartermaster
Steven — Carpenter
Ollie — Gunner’s Mate
Ivy — Sailmaster
Trick — Ship’s Jester
Calvin — Medic
Veronica — Secret Keeper
Hannah — Deckhand
Wake — Quarterdeck Guard
Quinn — Sail Rigger
Zen — Ship’s Ghost / Survivalist
Olivia (me) — Captain
The ship—A loyal sailor of the seas.
Wooden boards rest solid under our thick leather boots, worn by storms, sweat, and our blood.
Red-orange-yellow sails flail in the soft wind, like flames licking the teal sky.
Each creak—a whispered warning. Broken promises that echo through the worn wood, painful reminders that hum beneath our sturdy, solid deck.
It’s a blazing day to be on the Sea Blazer—to run this ship till my last breath.
My hands—scarred, blistered, pale—but steady—hold the wheel like my life depends on it.
—END OF INTRO— MORE COMING SOON!!!—
WELCOME ABOARD THE “SEA BLAZER”
All this dread is setting in,
Anxiety rattling,
Attention gathering.

All it is-is catastrophic,
Running the mile,
Exhaustion,
Fighting pain.
My fault to blame?
Who knows,
Full shame,
I think I’m going insane.

My head Is spinning bout,
Brain so foggy,
Im feeling really groggy.
attention full steam,
All this stuff settling,
Appearing in a whole new setting.

Fear.
Confusion.
I’m losing,
The battle.
Attention?
Please.
I’m fighting,
I don’t need a medal.
Just listen,
To me,
I beg,
PLEASE.
I’m on my knees,
I’m fighting the stinging,
Of wasps and bees.

Plunging my stomach,
Sinking into my brain.
I think I need help.

All this dread,
All this shame,
Putting on the blame,
So many mistakes.

All uprising,
Head to the clouds.
I’m falling down,
No parachute,
And I smack the ground.
Pain radiating,
Like noise in a crowd.

Am I losing my mind,
I need to take my time.
Finding who I am,
Finding ways to take control,
Thoughts.
Clouds.
Pain.
Shame.
Dread.
Hate.
Love.
faith.

Am I enough?
Am I worthy?
Can I be someone great?
Did I make too many mistakes?

I’m HURTING.
my brain,
Is fumbling,
I’m losing a battle.

But I keep on fighting.
I got plans,
And I’m making changes,
I’m making demands.

“Its all attention seeking”
“Your asking for it”
“You act like your the only one in this world”
“How can you be someone great, if you can’t even take care of yourself”

This is what people have said to me.
It’s all setting in.
And I’m NOT going,
To stop fighting.
I fight the nightmares,
Each night.
Sleep comes and goes,
Like a streetlight.

Writing is my true escape,
Once a lightbulb goes off,
I chase these thoughts in my head,
When I can't seem,
to go to bed.

Late nights,
Faint yellow glow,
Of my nightlight,
On my little wooden table.  
Soft Grey pj's,
Seeming to sink,
In my weight.
All these thoughts,
They link,
Making these poems,
Late at night,
I have no fright.

For--
Once I write,
I feel free.
Finally light enough,
To breath.

Finally free enough,
To fly.
Not scared.
Not anxious.
Not sad.
Not mad.
All things let loose.

the faint glow,
Turns dark.
The noise,
Slows.
And sleep comes,
And then it repeats,
As night turns to day,
sleep goes.
Sad-sunken eyes,
Large tumor,
Growing fast.
Who knows?
How long he has.

Bulges and bumps,
Along his body.
Cant even sit,
Or stand properly.

I love you Toby,
To infinity and beyond.
You probably only have,
around a week left.
But still—
Stay strong.
I love you Toby— you didn’t even get out of bed today..you only ate twice..only went to the bathroom a couple times… I know your hurting.. I just hope you don’t…pass away…while Im going to camp… I love u…
I carry a storm,
In the pocket of my shirt.
A restless demon,
Clawing.
Ripping.
Shredding.
My body apart,
From the inside out.
Shattering bones,
Through every breath.
The taste of blood,
Of acid,
Is all I know.
Thunder in my mind,
And voices,
Is all that bombards,
My brain.
My hallucinations.
Develop,
I was told I'm faking,
But I'm not fine.
The demos echo,
They yell,
In that shrill voice,
I know all too well.
These echos send,
Alarms like a bell.
My heart is shattered glass,
Like a mirror,
Laying on the floor.
Cutting deeper,
With each bolt,
That sends waves into my body.
I wear this weight.
Like a second skin.
That’s underneath,
Hiding what’s within.
I struggle—I fight everyday.
What you don’t see,
Is what goes on,
Day to day.
The vomiting.
The pain.
The nausea.
The shame.
The anemia.
The dizziness.
The fighting for life,
It’s a lot of chores.
To stay alive— is a battle,
My body forces me to ride,
Like a roller coaster.
This fight in my pocket,
Is a storm brewing out of control
Who knows?
When my body,
Will hit a pole.
This storm,
Is making me lose myself,
More.
The sun bleeds through
The vein-filled leaves.
The wind picks up—
A soft-loving breeze.

The wind knows
And brushes my hair away,

So I can gaze
At the soft
Flowers in the deep,
Crevassed valley

On this bright summer day.
Sun
Sun
The suns first color is yellow.
Her favorite for sure.
She has others though.
A collection of more.
Oranges bleed to pinks,
Purples seep into red.

Dawn and dusk.
Her best times of day.
No matter the weather,
She always comes back,
She always try’s to stay.
When the sun comes out,
All worry’s wash away,
And brightness,
Fills,
The—once,
Cloudy day.
An older poem!!! (I found my old poem book from 5 years ago!!!).   :)
That day.
That life.
That pastime.
That fright.
When I was left,
Behind that stair,
Crying.
No one else knew I was there.
That blood.
Those bruises.
That pain,
I’ve tried to fight through it.
But the weight,
That it holds.
That the fact,
No one even knew.
Those scars.
That blood.
Dripping down my face,
Into my eyes,
Down my throat,
Blood pooling at my feet.
Sitting there,
in time of need.
That day.
That led,
To fighting,
For life.
Those flashbacks,  
Of when they pulled me into that hallway.
School.
Crime.
Turned on there “other” face,
And destroyed my hope,
That the world can be great.
That blood.
Will forever,
Remain in my memory.
That pain I felt will never be gone,
The pain that day.
That nobody noticed or saw.
That day,
Was what hurt me the most.
That day.
Poems DON’T bloom—
They rupture.
They ignite,
Like a fire in your soul,
Waiting to explode,
Like gasoline in a burning room.

Poems
Are those
Who land deeper than the largest crevasse—
Those that leave you glaring,
Wide—unblinking eyes.

Waiting for the next punch
To your heart,
Like music crashing into your body
When you have the volume too loud.

Poems are meant to claw,
To rip,
Open your ribcage,
To smear
Your blood—pain—EVERYTHING
In front of you,
To show you it’s okay
For ALL to exist;
To trick
Your heart
To love,
Hate,
To turn fear
Into fate.

There are supposed to drip blood
In words that were NEVER meant to be said.

Every line,
Something I couldn’t bellow,
So I sharpened
My words like a knife,
Till my words bled
Blood—
I could never give back.

I LIVE for blood,
I LIVE for pain.
I LIVE for the world to not
Care
What it’s left for me,
What the world’s done to let me decay.

Each verse of silence,
Each verse of pain,
Each verse of anger,
Of shame,
Or hate,
Of love,
IS YEARS
OF SWALLOWING
MY OWN BLOOD.

YEARS.
OF HATING MYSELF.
YEARS.
OF NOT TRUSTING ANYONE
Who said…
“I’m here,”
“I’ll listen,”
“I’ll help.”

LET THAT BURN.

YEARS.
OF PAIN.
YEARS.
OF SHAME,
FOR WHAT THEY DID,
FOR HOW THE WORLD
TAUGHT ME WRONG.

You call my poems BRAVE!?
…THEIR SURVIVAL.
THEIR BLOOD.
I WAS NEVER
ABLE TO PUT BACK
IN MY BODY.

Poems are my baggage;
Each weighs—
A ton.

What is a poem?
A POEM?
It’s the moment before you scream,
When you realize you can’t say
What’s digging into your mind.
It’s rhyming stanzas
Disguised as hatred.
It’s love
Dressed as rhythm.
It’s pain
Hidden
As syllables,
Each word—my teeth.

Poems are MEANT
To be messy,
MEANT
To be ugly,
MEANT
TO LIVE—

Even when others
Think they shouldn’t have ever
Lived that long,
When you’re told to leave it in your head.

You want a Poem?
SIT in my blood.
I’LL sit in yours.
I’ll comfort you,
If you do the same.
I’ll be there in your brightness,
And in your darkness,
With the faint glow of the candle
To illuminate
Your shattered
Ship.

Writing is a freedom;
It’s everything
Anyone could need.

A poem doesn’t need to be perfect—
…just…let it be you.

THAT’S what a poem is MEANT
To do.
I finally got this out of me…i feel…free…
The Attack- TW- HEALTH ISSUES-
A poem by Olivia Williams
—————————
That Thursday,
my legs met the floor.
A thump echoed in the elevator—
I couldn’t stand, any longer.
I barely remember.
One moment, I felt like I was going to pass out.
The next—
the floor met my exhausted body,
as my feet succumbed to gravity,
like a rock sinking into deep water.
My arms went limp.
My body went numb.
My brain felt like it was colliding into a wall—
or like someone was banging on it
like a drum.
Like strings were cut,
nerves were severed,
the ones that told my body:
"Work, or you're a coward!"
Everything from my neck down
forgot who was in control.
My body forgot who it was connected to—
it had a mind of its own.
I have reflux
Anemia too
I get attacks frequently
They literally knock me down
So DONT play me for a fool
My fingers felt cold,
turning to frost.
My lips were chapped and dry,
a crevasse so deep,
I couldn’t deny.
I was a ghost slowly lying there—
until a chair came.
Sight slipped away
as I was wheeled the other way.
First blurry—then gone.
My hearing too.
Like a blackout curtain appeared,
and I couldn’t tell who was who.
These voices I recognized—warped,
like they were underwater.
My breath was a battle.
My lungs begged for air,
but it refused to enter.
And the air I had
escaped faster than I could hold it.
Like a hammer on a locked door—
sealed shut—
I couldn’t get out
of the cave I was in.
Water was filling my body.
I lost all sense of time
inside that darkness.
They asked me,
“Stay awake.”
But I wasn’t there.
I couldn’t hear—see—or reply.
All of that
had been stripped from me there.
I entered the office,
heard— the concerned voices,
the mumbles saying:
“You need to take care of yourself.”
“You need to eat.”
“But I throw it all up,” I say.
“So my body makes it to this point.”
The lights were too bright,
filling my grey void.
Then—
everything came back.
I heard my own voice.
Then a voice I recognized entered the room.
She looked at me and asked questions,
but she knew
I couldn’t speak yet.
Because my body felt like
I was swimming through glue.
I was on the edge of fainting,
on the edge of life.
Food and water made a thump beside me.
I fumbled it open—
took one bite,
then another,
and another—
waiting for my body to recharge.
Like a dead battery.
I don’t remember what it was.
It didn’t taste good—
but I didn’t care.
I just ate, and hoped
my body would spare.
I cried,
knowing my body had failed me
in front of everyone.
Not from pain.
There was no scream,
no giant collapse—
just a person
sliding to the ground
in an elevator,
trying to get help
before fading away.
This isn’t weakness.
Or drama.
This is war,
with no warning.
This is fighting
with no rules.
I fight for life every day.
I’m told,
“You don’t have much on your plate.”
But surviving is my chore.
Life is a game.
I played the wrong cards.
I forgot to eat and drink—
because my body forgot to tell me how.
It made me ***** it back.
So this is what I get.
This is surviving
in silence,
day by day,
hour by hour.
This is an attack.
The boat
It stays true
—Stays afloat

The long wooden frame
Not daring to break
Not afraid
—completely tame

Neat sails
Holding strong
Soft-velvet
No sign of betrayal

The boat holds many
But keeps to its word
To protect all who boards
No matter where they come from

The boat pushes through any storm
Sings all the songs
This new boat
Free from its dock
Staying strong

A symbol of hope
Is
The
Boat
Preview -
OF “CEREMONY OF COLORS”
- THE SHORT STORY-
— — — —

In this town each person has a color that means what rank or position they are in society. They get their color when they turn ten,but one family has an unknown gene discovered after an accident that created a baby born with a unique color. How will they be treated?How will they ever fit in? Who will they become? And what place are they truly..in society.
——————————
“COME ON, EVERYONE LET'S GET TOGETHER BEFORE THE CEREMONY OF COLORS!!!” Jack yells

“COMING” yelled the group in unison

“Trinity are you…ok?”

“Yeah…just a bit nervous.”

“You know you don’t have to be, you’ll be yellow! I’m sure!

“Really…you think!?”

“Of course! Now! Come on, we're going to be late!”

She smiled as she watched him sprint away from her as he yelled to Mark.

“EVERYONE PLEASE QUIET DOWN, THE CEREMONY WILL START NOW!”

Everyone hushed and the auditorium creaking was the only sound, an eerie one at that.

“WELCOME to the ceremony of colors!”
(Clapping consumed the auditorium then quieted, as if practiced)

“First we will call your number on your black t-shirt and you will come up to be scanned!”

“Alicia Robens, number 1!”
“Jack Macalom, number 2!”
“Mark jackson, number 3”
“Hannah Kendrick, number 4!”
“Greg tanker, number 5!”
“Frida Carlson, number 6!”
“Esten brand, number 7!”
“Danika Jenkins, number 8!”
“Penny render, number 9!”
“ Anderson king, number 10!”
“Wesley Ansikten, number 11!”
“Zing fredmend, number 12!”
“And lastly…..”
“Trinity sandman, number 13!”
All thirteen of you have reached the age of ten and are now ready to receive your colors. I now invite ONE parent from each child to come up to grab the scanner to do the honors of revealing their place in society, their color, and their job in our town of…. Malloryville!”

Each parent stepped up, grabbed the scanner and positioned themselves in front of their child.

“NOW, WHEN I SAY “GO”, YOU WILL SCAN YOUR CHILD WHEN I CALL THE NUMBER AND THE AUDITORIUM WILL GLOW THE COLOR THEY GOT AND SO WILL THEY I WILL IST RULES OF COLOR THEN WE WILL COMMENCE.

RED-DOCTOR- BRAVE BUT KIND
ORANGE- FIREFIGHTER- BRAVE
YELLOW-GARDNER- GENTLE AND KIND
GREEN- CARETAKER/TEACHER- CALM AND RULE BOUND
BLUE-POLICE OFFICER/GUARD- LEADER AND DETERMINED
AND PURPLE- HOUSE BUILDER- STRONG AND BRAVE

“NUMBER 1!” (Turns yellow)
“Number 2!” (Turns green)
“Number 3!” (Turns blue)
“Number 4!” ( turns Orange)
“Number 5!” ( turns purple)
“Number 6!” (Turns red)
“Number 7!” (Turns blue)
“Number 8!” (Turns red)
“Number 9!” (Turns yellow)
“Number 10!” (Turns purple)
“Number 11!” (Turns orange)
“Number 12!” (Turns green)
“Lastly! Number 13!” (Turnsssss.. GOLD!!!…”
“***!”
Everyone goes quiet in shock
Many run out of the auditorium
“IT'S TRUE!…YOUR…YOU’R.”
The cycle.
Day and night.
This daily fight.
Just to survive.
What is this cycle ?
You may ask?
Well it goes like this,
And everyday it lasts.
I eat.
I get nauseous.
I gag.
I *****.
I can’t keep food down,
I can’t keep liquids down,
I don’t feel hunger,
I’m afraid to eat.
So—in turn I don’t eat,
or drink at all.
Till my body breaks-
and I collapse,
Or fall.
Then it repeats,
Putting it back into me.
Even though I’m afraid,
And I find no reason why,
To keep eating,
If I can’t keep it down,
In the first place.
This is what life is like,
With disorders,
And illness.
My body repeats this cycle,
But the doctors try to postpone it.
Still with no success…
I have many health issues..this is just a combination that I call “my cycle”
The Irony of My Savior
by Olivia

(NOTE: TOPIC BASED OFF RELIGION)

————
They told me
there was a man
who once helped those who were hurt,
who “loved me” more
than anyone on the globe,
who changed life for the “better.”
But those nights spent in bed,
thinking about those nights spent
with others of the faith telling me,
“He heard your cries.”
“He listens to your prayers…”
“…He cleans your mind…”
“…Holds your hands…”
“…And loves you more than the world!”
My lifeline, that was supposed to
“Keep me alive,”
WENT DEAD.
My bruised and battered body
on a hard-tile floor,
blood covering me like how
“Jesus died for us on the cross.”
Going home all covered,
saying everything “was fine,”
going to church over the next month,
showing my pain
in a room full of promises and bandages
that fixed a LITTLE,
but through it all,
He never came.
If I was “chosen,”
if this was my “path,”
my “road,” my “story,”
that I had suffered for a reason,
that everything was on a blueprinted paper
like a plan for my life,
then where was HE to make corrections
when HE SAW HE took it too far
and didn’t do something right?
They all decorate the church with the “holy face”
and Bible verses,
pray that things will turn right,
because it’s easier than admitting
that what He SUPPOSEDLY DID wasn’t right.
They don’t know how to help me.
The doctors can’t either.
I’M NOT doing this for attention.
I used to, because that’s how I got noticed when I was hurt.
YES, I might have taken it too far,
but THAT day will never end.
IT ISN’T A DREAM.
PEOPLE CAN BE THAT CRUEL.
DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME “INSANE.”
They watch me bleed out
while handing empty and broken promises and prayers.
When ALL I NEEDED was someone to notice
when I had DIED that day on that hard tile floor.
I never saw Him, not then, not now.
That’s why I don’t believe HE exists.
I prayed so hard,
in my darkest times,
but He ceased to exist.
I built my own life up
from what was left of my battered, ****** body,
crimson-red blood.
The metallic taste and smell I’ll NEVER forget,
it’s still with me.
But I’ve found my home, found my place.
The irony of my “savior”
was the fact He came for His supposed “people” and “world,”
but He didn’t come for me.
I can cradle my hurt,
but He will never help.
He lost His chance,
and now I’m finding MY OWN
path,
MY OWN
LIFE,
MY OWN
story.
I’M CLAIMING THIS.
IT’S MY LIFE.
When I was young
I went to school
The library was like home
I’d sit in the chairs
Staring at them all
with curiosity in my eyes
“I would like to read this book!”
I’d call
She’d grab it for me
And check it out
The librarians
Already knew me by heart
She’d say
“Those books are very advanced!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I'm sure!” I’d reply
Going to sit down
I’d get very cosy
And start reading aloud
The librarian was surprised
By the level I could read
I wasn’t though
The books were very fascinating to me
In elementary school I read middle school books
I was always one grade ahead
No matter what the library’s been my happy place
Books to me
They come to life
They jump out the pages
And speak to me
This library was my first adventure
And always will be
Where my future was unlocked
I’m an author know
With many books and poems
All thanks to the library
Which I called home
The Road-
A poem: by Olivia Williams.
——-
i've run along this road all my life
I've been running away from it all night
I've been hanging on to these handrails that just keep breaking
People keep telling me that no matter what I'm lying
I've been running away from these shackles that hold me prisoner
These thoughts that want to break my mind
My body that feels like its crumbling as time goes on
“I need to hang on”
“I need to stay strong”
I think in my head as I run this road
“But I'm a failure”
“But I'll never be important enough”
They reply back
“You'll never be great”
You'll never be perfect”
They continue as they chuckle
I run as they chase me
All my thoughts mix together
Envy and Sadness
Hope and anger
Hopelessness
It's all there
It is all that held my world accountable
All the times I've been pushed to breaking point
All the times I've been hurt beyond words
All the times I've been left in the dirt
All the times I've been missing the signs
The signs I'm human
The signs I'm a good person
The signs I'm someone worth living for
Everyday i fight
Fight pain, physical and mental  
Fighting has held me strong
Everything inside me
Is fighting
I sing it
It's my song
This is my road
My life
My heart
And I've reached a point where I have to accept myself
No matter what
This roads mine
Through everything
My Suffering and my pain
My joy and my shame
it's on this road
That I've been running from
I've been running from my feelings
They have tried to hold me hostage
This devil of dark
This red-eyed monster
The past is behind me
I'm starting new
This year is my year
I'll make sure of it to
I need all the help i can get
To change my ways
To help me move away from the past
I need to move past it
I call all family and friends
All teachers and others
All my supporters
I need people to help me
I need people to join my road
So…
Will you join me?
White brick,
Metal chains.
Locked In,
So afraid.

Metal clinking,
against concrete.
No escape.
Locked in,
It’s fate.

A small cot,
Made of wood.
In the corner,
White concrete floor,
I shuffle my feet,
Towards the door.

I gave up screaming,
long ago.
I gave up because—
No one could hear me,
Yell.
So now I sink low—
To the concrete,
And look out,
But all I see,
Is more white walls,
So know I doubt myself.

The metal chain,
Weighing me down,
Like a brick.

A chain of—
Regret.
Shame.
Pain.
Sadness.
Fear.
Anxiety.
Anger.

I’m stuck in this,
walled concrete cell.
With thick metal-
Bars
Metal chains,
Weighing me down,
Forming deep scars.
From those already there.

This room,
I’m trapped.
It has always lasted,
I’m stuck here,
Always tested.

I hope one day.
I’ll break the chains.
But Im still stuck,
Attached to this wall,
In this cage,
In this room,
Debating if I can ever change.
The Sea That Sparkles
A poem
——————————————-

Sunlight spills like melting gold
Pouring down on velvet-like sand
Running through my fingers
Sifting through my skin

Each shell
Brushes along the sandy shore
The waves licking the surface
Like little puppy dog kisses
showering the sea

The lighthouse shines on the glittered sand
just right
And the birds whisper
As they fly

Above the watercolor of sea
Tints of all colors  
Open into a valley of water
Full of life swimming bout
The sheltered coral
Drifting to stay upright the in shy waves

The sun
Like gold jewels
Of a gorgeous dream
The clouds of new themes arise from the
Crystal sky
Cotton candy clouds
Fill in a small space

Distant murmurs of
Tides steady tune
A salty-sweet tang mix
Fills the ocean air
A faint scent of seaweed, and flowers
Scatter the sea side  

tiny ***** scurry around the sand
Forming little shadows
And hiding in the crevasses
Of watered down rocks
Foams lace the water
Like fabric scattered
After a storm

Light bends around the horizon
Filling the sky like glitter
where the sky meets the sea
The little things that sparkle
Is the beach
And I let it consume me
It’s always my dream
It’s who I am
The little things that sparkle
Shows me
The sea
The Sunshine Stingray
——————————-
A shimmer of glitter,
in the clawing waves of the sea.
A jewel of light,
a candle of hope,
stingray’s grace
letting me be me.
Birds take flight
above the deep, dark waves,
hiding secrets underneath —
betrayals and caves.
I used to get trapped.
Lungs burned,
feeling like fire colliding into my ribs.
Legs flailing,
giving up when I had nothing left.
Water up my nose, in my mouth —
choking, pleading for help.
I couldn’t swim.
I was tossed and toppled
into the bruised sea,
dragged underneath
like someone was pulling down on me.
The sky was so dark,
like a brewing storm.
I had prayed for light
that never came.
But now I’m leaving my mark
on the golden — in my stingray.
Beneath a new dawn, a glow lights above.
The bruised and battered sea— fights,
tossing me off course,
so far.
I felt like I was flying
out of a speeding car.
My wings spread wide —
golden glitter over pale skin,
covering fading gashes
like a tarp.
Trying to stitch light into the wound,
trying to patch up my past
with shimmer and silence.
Even though I know
I didn’t earn it —
because I didn’t fight back.
Still, the warmth of the cloudy sky
and the new sun
offer a kind of mercy.
Night meets day.
The fire is no longer ablaze.
The sky is a glass mirror
beneath a veil of shaded fog.
The clouds hide only a little of the sun.
I dive down deep.
I’m not afraid anymore.
I know I’m loved —
I’m strong.
I can fight through life,
evermore.
Corals play and dance
around the sea,
like lanterns swinging
in a breeze.
The sun finally opens
for all to see.
The fish come out —
not scared, they don’t flee.
The colors of the coral
light up and ripple
through the fading darkness
of the sea.
There’s peace at last.
Land ahead —
reefs open up,
ships rise to full mast.
The aftermath
is broken and ******,
but scars slowly heal,
one step at a time.
Day by day,
the stingray glows
brighter than the start
on our new starry night.
The sun leaves the softest ray.
A candle still burns.
I’m rebuilding my life,
hugging with the ocean —
a true embrace.
I’ve left most behind,
leaving hurt without a trace.
Day turns to night.
The world falls silent.
Waves lick the sandy shores.
Seagulls go hushed
as they fly back home.
The deep, battered, bruised
fades into space — and time.
Now meant to be left behind —
crevasses of empty holes
that never healed.
Empty words and prayers,
never answered,
now lay strewn… sealed.
My stingray glows
through its pain,
its shame
for not being who it is,
for not being brave.
“It’s okay to be afraid,”
people say —
but what they don’t realize
is the world is eating fear.
So I’ve learned to steer clear.
My light now shines.
So does my ray.
The storm and sea now fade
into what life is — into infinity.
A sunshine grows
as the cloudy sky subsides,
and I’m slowly becoming brave enough…
to be myself — and try.
My ray is new.
Glitter is what it holds.
And holding onto more,
underneath it all —
is hope.
“What is the sunshine stingray?”
you may ask?
Well… it’s me.
Starting life over,
day by day,
night by night.
Pain, bruises, storms —
I just wait for them to subside.
I try my best
when that’s what’s asked.
I put forth my effort,
to love myself during my worst,
and learn from my mistakes.
I’m human.
So when you see that shimmer,
when you see a sunset or sunrise,
or a stingray gliding below —
a survivor is moving free
from chains
that once held it taunt.
I will try to live,
in the life,
of the sunshine stingray —
and hold onto hope,
no matter the days.
I’m reborn,
alive,
glowing,
grounded,
Free,
My life.
My sunshine.
My stingray.
They warned me,
Life was unforgivable.

They warned me,
Life hurts.

They warned me,
I shouldn’t expect perfection.

They warned me,
I have to be stronger,
Than others actions or words.

They warned,
and warned me some more,
Everyday.
THAT day i decayed,
In silence.

I NEVER expected,
the world could hurt,
As much as I was told.
Those warnings,
Are so much more.
My limits were tested,
Far out of the shore.  

It’s most Important to head,
Warnings when they come.
Now Im on the run,
From life’s worst nightmares,
That send boulders,
tumbling down my path.

Im forever lost in regret,
Low self esteem,
Health conditions,
cluelessness,
Mixed with dreams.

I hope one day,
I’ll be someone great,
But Im lost for-now.

Even though,
They warned me,
Life would hurt.

I didn’t follow,
What they warned me.
Thorns.
Blood.
Scars.
Pain.

Bullying.
Rumors.
Love.
Hate.

Cries.
Begging.
Pleas,
For help.

No one is listening,
No way out.
Thorns stab,
Like knifes to skin.

How will I escape?
When I’m stuck in a body I don’t want…
With health issues,
I can’t take care of.
My body giving up on me,
And I Know I’m failing within.

Spreading pain.
Of those words,
That blood,
That day.
Cold tile floor.
Lies.
Thorns stabbed me then,
left an imprint on my soul.

So know I live my life,
Stuck in a web of pain,
Being punctured with thorns.
Thursday-July 3rd- 2:53-passed away-

I'll always love you--
even though your gone,
I love you to infinity and beyond.
🐕🐶❤️😢
It’s midnight.
My pale yellow walls,
Illuminated by a faint,
Yellow glow.
My bed feels,
Like a wired rug.
Digging into my back,
Like a shovel dug to dirt.
Each fraction of movement,
Sends groans through its frame.
My pillow won’t,
Sit my head right.
My blanket is too much.
I’m worried,
it’s too late in the night.
My thoughts race like a car,
Too much to tame.
I fear the voices in my head,
Are making me go insane.
It’s midnight.
It’s late.
The world is quiet.
Except for my head.
I JUST WANT
TO GO TO BED! :(
TO INFINITY AND BEYOND
——————-
-for Toby-
Busy days,
Long nights,
Laughing at your high-pitched barks,
At all your funny quirks,
Or the way you give me that one side-eye.
You are my star,
You are my shine,
You are, and will always be,
Mine.
You aren't just a "dog,"
You aren't just tail, paws, and fur.
You are the toothy smile,
You are the light like the stars
When the nights were long.
How you chase the tennis ball,
How you bark when the mail-people come along,
How you eat everything in sight,
How you give the best kisses,
How you endure the belly rubs each night.
Or finally, how you chase Mom and Dad around,
But never win the fight.


You've been cast as a star,
Because you're my shining light.
You, my baby boy —
I will always love you,
No matter the time of day or night.
Before bed,
Our daily ritual repeats —
And will forever live in my head.
Even when you growl, when your having a rough day,
I'll always be here, if you ever need a hug.
Your heart hums my favorite song,
And plays in my mind
When the days seem long.
You rest now,
Body weak,
Your cancer growing,
The throwing up
Never seems to deplete.
Your love wraps each of us in.
My baby boy,
Getting sick now —
I'll be with you till the end.
I have you in one necklace,
And in my memory,
And in my photos —
But life won't be the same
Without you to hold onto.
Your bark remains the same,
So does your smile,
But I can tell you're getting worse,
Because your love sometimes doesn't go the full mile.
"To infinity," we always say.
"And beyond," is always said —
No matter if it's during the day,
Or near bed, when everyone retreats.
“Love” is a word we use a lot, it depends on how it's used. But in this case it means a WHOLE LOT MORE than “alot”
It's a tradition
That will always live on —
Like your perfect face,
Your bark,
Your paws will.
Forever.
No matter what.
To infinity,
And beyond.
To: my younger self.
From: 2025 self.
…………………….
Stay strong
People will try to hurt you

DON’T stop reporting them
They NEED to learn there lesson
DON’T go to picture day
They WILL take advantage of you

Love yourself
NO MATTER WHAT

Trust your parents
They will ALWAYS be there for you

DONT EVER take no for an answer

DONT believe the “security camera” lie

KEEP writing
And NEVER stop
(You’ll be famous 1 day)

Speak up about your health issues
(You’ll finally get the help you need
EARLIER ON!!!)

Be a child for AS LONG AS POSSIBLE
you WILL lose that eventually

KEEP listening to music
It WILL be your free time
AND your way out of bad situations

DONT listen to
The principal and counselor there
They lie and are hurting you
Even IF you can’t notice in now

be WHOEVER you want to be
DONT let anyone stop you

Smile as much as you WANT to
you don’t need to pretend

Love the color yellow
It will become the color
And symbol of freedom

Come “out” in the pride community
DONT hide it!!!

Speak up when you talk
Let people hear you

Take self care days
You deserve it :).

Lose your friends
(Except for Steph)
They ALL will side with the “others”
And hurt you on “THAT day”

Feel free to cry
Letting it all out
Won’t hurt you

Go outside more
You will LOVE it

Spend more time with Toby
He WONT have long left

BE YOURSELF
LOVE YOURSELF
YOU GOT THIS
YOU ARE STRONG
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU ARE AWESOME
YOU ARE PERFECT—
JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. :)
There will be no grammar fixes— I am just free writing, cause I’m extremely exhausted.    :)
Valiant-
A poem By:
Olivia Williams.
——-
I try to be valiant
I try to be brave
I try to be someone important
I try to be a friend
I try to be honest
And kind
I try to be respectful
Creative, and unique
But yet I fall
And I get sad
That things aren’t going the way I planned
This person he controls
My whole personality
And always withholds
From letting me be myself
So I can’t be any of those
I try to be unique
I try to be myself
But most of all
I want to be valiant
(This is one of my first ever poems with horrid grammar! DONT judge :))
its NOT an imaginary friend.
It’s not a dream.
It’s not fake,
It’s a REAL thing.
It’s a voice in your head,
It’s visions you get.
It’s real pain you endure,
Whether those know it or not,
It’s true,
It real.
DONT call this a bluff,
I have had ENOUGH.
people TELLING ME,
to “get over it”.
Or Im “faking it for attention”.
DO YOU THINK I WANT THIS!?
DO YOU THINK I WANT TO BE HAUNTED!?
BY THE VOICES IN MY HEAD!?
24/7,
Day and night.
Alone or in public.
In a bathroom or in a mall,
It’s always there— taunting me.
Hoping I trip and fall.
The blood…
The eyes,
It’s all a disguise.
Only meant for my eyes.
So DONT YOU DARE!?
Tell me it’s fake.
Because I’m fighting,
Voices.
who GIVE NO grace.
Hello all poets-writers-readers-etc!!

I have been working on my new short story- “The
Sea Blazer”
I have edited it a lot- created chapters etc.. I WILL be deleting the old story. ADDING ONLY the NEW intro and working to keep up with updates on when the official story is out!
Thanks y’all for supporting me so far—keep checking in for updates-
Love y’all-
Olivia :)
IM SOOOOO EXCITED!!!! 😆
I am igniting fire--flame.
You tried to test me,
Causing pain.
It is you--who I blame
Based off of "That" day
Yellow
a poem — by Olivia Williams
TW
———————
A trembling yellow rose,
fighting away pain from the past
Those who made fun,
Didn’t think she would last.

so bright,
so bold.
Despite bruises that go unknown,
Its petals are so soft, like silk — frayed and torn,
but itching to unfold.
Painted in yellow,
stories of the world,
yet to be told.
The color serenades a hopeful- eager tune,
of one where life
hasn't gone so wrong.


This quiet melody slowly swells like the tide
among these bruised valleys,
even echos dare not to make a peep
the melodies of laughter
For those who fueled pain
fill the silence,
piercing through– like glass to skin.
The color,
is pale, illuminating light.
that shines into a
sad, dark room.
casting pale sunlit patterns on my walls.

The color brings flowers-
happiness, and love—hour by hour.
Still this ticking clock… never-ever stops
How much can my body take?
before my internal clock shatters like glass,
After being hit by lightning on a rainy day?
Fragile glass shattered in fury, and pain
What happens then? Do I lose not only my time but my color?

Time.
Time by time,
again and again,
I stare out into the vast void,
stars scattered in a hazy night sky —
so full of life,
yet I'm haunted by that day
that I didn't fight.
I feel trapped
In a place I called safe
yet the world
has been so cruel.
It tore that to shreds,
Like paper ripped in half.


A building storm
Hail-force winds, black sky
lightning rumbles and thunder clatters
Tornado raging through
Belongings ripped out
My hope, strength, love, all spread about
That then get worse
It’s running this same course  
The storm ravages around, scouring the area on the prowl
like a tiger looking for a meal —
but I'm left for dead,
for this tiger
to take me away.
And I’m next.


The clouds cover these bruises with their own.
Deep crimson red and pig pink, illuminate the shattered ocean.
Of falling happy memories.
Rain lashing and bursting into the ground-like a hammer bursting into concrete.
thunder's roar stomps and shakes like the roar of an oncoming train.
I reach out—fingers grasping,
clawing at the rain-soaked dirt,
as I fall down the peak of the jagged torn cliff into the bubbling and boiling water.
This has stolen that yellow spark,
that joy, that happiness— fleeing like a criminal escaping away in the fog-filled night sky.
I try and try
to be my best.

Their words still sting like knives,
each digging and plunging into my back
as they further stack stones
’til I'm about to collapse.

This buried treasure.
underneath gravelly, torn mountains.
Bruised and battered, deep blues, purples and greens run together and fade into a dark shadowed nightmare where pain and images dance with cruel intent.
I have sure had my share of pain
I am a canvas of scars
Internal fire,
External gauges.
They didn’t ask if I could be “claimed”
I was forced to fit into their mold.
So I could survive those years,
That pain remained bold.


I'm not even sure my candle will last.
My color, it shines, it flickers on —
sometimes less than the rest,
but it will forever live on
in my heart of gold.


The sky is as blue as the sea.
The wind brushing my,
light brown hair,
against my face.
pale brown eyes scan the sea,
of the graveyard of those,
Who carved scars until I collapsed.
Like signatures etched into my spine.
all adrift among the bubbling sea
like splintered—discarded driftwood
from a dismantled ship.
From which I thought was home
They wail, plead, and call,
but I ignore their cries-
Tangled within sea foam,
And broken lies.
like they once did
when I was sinking
Underneath a horrid storm.

I stand on this ship,
Made from survivors like me.
Looking out into the sea,  
Hoping that one good person survived,
But all of them betrayed and hurt me.

I walk around this ruined ship,  
Wooden frame- weathered and cracked.
Broken glass and bottles cover the claustrophobic halls,
Planks of this wood are warped from time and pain.
Engraved is the blood of guilt and shame.
I hear them call- “PLEASE HELP, WE‘RE SORRY! ”
but they stole my trust the way they’d steal from the mall.
The sails hang in shreds of fabric, torn by storms of fear,
Open crevasses lead below deck,
Filled with rain, blood, glass, and a permanent echo of “what’s next?”
The hull groans and mumbles under the weight of the pain,
Of the shame— for not standing up straighter, than it thought it could handle.
The ship had finally crumpled, under the weight of the “betrayed” they were carrying.

I step off this ghost ship,
And run away from the cries and blood-curdling screams.
I’m not rescuing someone who pleaded and caused me to start drowning.
And I push on, so I can be who I want to be.

I will stand up,
let my rose unfold.
My petals will open
to a day of promise.
I just need time to gather,
to find a day where breathing,
Feels like a flower blooming on a spring day.
That glitter inside me —
the gold, dust, hope, and fire
Come together.
Rising within me
Trying to find power
Bursting through concrete
Like an earthquake does
So strong,
it unlocks the inside of the earth,
like a key.

The cold of pain had passed.
The sun will rise now.
I stand on this ship,
A new one called “hope”
New sails, new wood, new life, my future is still unknown,
on this very bow I stand, tall and strong.
And if I may,
I will let myself be brave,
be loved
be myself,
be unique,
be me.


This ship will lead me home.
The lighthouse beyond this sea.
full of those who remember,
—care about my name,
waiting to welcome home,
not who they thought I was
But the raw-real-new me.

Months slip by
And brush the sandy shore
The rocks have slowly faded
Leaving only a few more.
recovery blooms.
And I start to catch my breath
Knowing that pain will come
But I have to take care of myself
And I know I can.
Each new month shapes my fate.
I have a new rose, golden and yellow,
Fighting for life.
Frayed petals now healing,
From my past fate.
I will fight now like the flower,
Like the color in one.
Always- forever,
I will let myself be that flower- that sun.

I’ll fight the pull of happiness and pain
I’ll push against the days, where the pain is beckoning
I stand strong
I speak up
I will fight the ghosts,
the dreams.
my life.
And who I want to be.
I want to unfold my shadow
Stand in the sun.

I will love myself,
To infinity.
Even if that means,
I fall for a short time.
I am stronger than they all say.
I will always fight, here in healing is where I lay,
It is, and will always be,
a Yellow
kind of Day.
You can’t just say that…
It’s not how it works.

I am speaking my,
Pain out loud.
So I can get the help I need,
So someone can lead—
Me down the right path.

This is how you talk though.
When I needed help,
All your lies,
“Its a disguise”
“You just want attention”
NO ITS NOT!
It’s REAL!
it HAPPENS!
I’m HURTING!
PLEASE LISTEN!!!

And DONT say these things..
This is what I’ve been told.
DONT make these mistakes,
When someone shares,
The pain,
That life has caused to unfold.
WHY!!! People say these things to people including me not realizing the affect it has in the future….goodness…… it makes me SO mad….
Waking up,
Is your freedom.
Waking up.
Is your heart.
Waking up,
Is your life.
Keep fighting—
No matter what.
Cause your a star.
Dad, your my strength
In so many ways
Your love
As bright as stars
They light the way
You use your strength to guide me
When I fall
Far away
Your my hero dad
More than words could say
All you’ve done
You’ve worked
So hard
To put food on the table
And to offer us safety
When we lost ours
You’ve offered your strength
You’ve offered your love
You’ve offered your heart
And your kindness
That shines through
Like a dove
Your hearts so big
To carry this much
But I can’t be more thankful
As your always there
Even when we can’t be in touch
I love you dad
More than words can say
Your my hero
No matter when my fails get in the way
I love you
To the moon and back
Past the stars
Love surpasses that
Especially ours
No I'm not.
I'm human,
I made mistakes,
So don't tell me I'm "perfect"
When I have,
Told lies,
Spread gossip,
Held onto darkness.
And am taking responsibility
For it.
Then trying to spread positivity.
Your scars,
Deep rivers,
Etched with veins and blood.

Your storm,
A raging fire on your ship,
Screams hidden
Beneath the fiery roar.

It's YOUR fire,
A smoldering core
Of you—
Born from your heart,
Soul,
Experiences,
People you meet.

It's your flame,
A fierce flame,
Licking at your weaknesses,
Boarding your ship
And burning it—
Not giving up the fight.

You're not broken,
Only shaped by your fire—
So is your boat.

You're reborn,
Shaped like molten metal
Through your wildest flame.

Your story is never "soft"—
It's your sword,
Carved from
New-found courage,
Love,
Hate, and strength
After each rebuild.

We all break,
But then we bloom,
Like dandelions
Bursting through
Cracked concrete—
They stay alive no matter
How many times they get crushed.

You can rise
From blood—
The crimson ink
Is now your story.
You shed
It all
As your power
Of writing.

The sky will
Turn blue,
Washing away
Raging waves
Who roar
Like the largest lion.

Cotton ball clouds
Will patch your wounds,
Gently soothing
Your battered heart—
Shattered boat.

We'll all come together,
Helping to build
Your sails back up,
From frayed, worn threads,
Repairing the wooden boards
With boards
Like bones,
Holding strength inside.

Your storm is beautiful,
Just like you.

It's your storm—
We'll be here --always--
To help you fight through.

— The End —