Yellow
a poem — by Olivia Williams
TW
———————
A trembling yellow rose,
fighting away pain from the past
Those who made fun,
Didn’t think she would last.
so bright,
so bold.
Despite bruises that go unknown,
Its petals are so soft, like silk — frayed and torn,
but itching to unfold.
Painted in yellow,
stories of the world,
yet to be told.
The color serenades a hopeful- eager tune,
of one where life
hasn't gone so wrong.
This quiet melody slowly swells like the tide
among these bruised valleys,
even echos dare not to make a peep
the melodies of laughter
For those who fueled pain
fill the silence,
piercing through– like glass to skin.
The color,
is pale, illuminating light.
that shines into a
sad, dark room.
casting pale sunlit patterns on my walls.
The color brings flowers-
happiness, and love—hour by hour.
Still this ticking clock… never-ever stops
How much can my body take?
before my internal clock shatters like glass,
After being hit by lightning on a rainy day?
Fragile glass shattered in fury, and pain
What happens then? Do I lose not only my time but my color?
Time.
Time by time,
again and again,
I stare out into the vast void,
stars scattered in a hazy night sky —
so full of life,
yet I'm haunted by that day
that I didn't fight.
I feel trapped
In a place I called safe
yet the world
has been so cruel.
It tore that to shreds,
Like paper ripped in half.
A building storm
Hail-force winds, black sky
lightning rumbles and thunder clatters
Tornado raging through
Belongings ripped out
My hope, strength, love, all spread about
That then get worse
It’s running this same course
The storm ravages around, scouring the area on the prowl
like a tiger looking for a meal —
but I'm left for dead,
for this tiger
to take me away.
And I’m next.
The clouds cover these bruises with their own.
Deep crimson red and pig pink, illuminate the shattered ocean.
Of falling happy memories.
Rain lashing and bursting into the ground-like a hammer bursting into concrete.
thunder's roar stomps and shakes like the roar of an oncoming train.
I reach out—fingers grasping,
clawing at the rain-soaked dirt,
as I fall down the peak of the jagged torn cliff into the bubbling and boiling water.
This has stolen that yellow spark,
that joy, that happiness— fleeing like a criminal escaping away in the fog-filled night sky.
I try and try
to be my best.
Their words still sting like knives,
each digging and plunging into my back
as they further stack stones
’til I'm about to collapse.
This buried treasure.
underneath gravelly, torn mountains.
Bruised and battered, deep blues, purples and greens run together and fade into a dark shadowed nightmare where pain and images dance with cruel intent.
I have sure had my share of pain
I am a canvas of scars
Internal fire,
External gauges.
They didn’t ask if I could be “claimed”
I was forced to fit into their mold.
So I could survive those years,
That pain remained bold.
I'm not even sure my candle will last.
My color, it shines, it flickers on —
sometimes less than the rest,
but it will forever live on
in my heart of gold.
The sky is as blue as the sea.
The wind brushing my,
light brown hair,
against my face.
pale brown eyes scan the sea,
of the graveyard of those,
Who carved scars until I collapsed.
Like signatures etched into my spine.
all adrift among the bubbling sea
like splintered—discarded driftwood
from a dismantled ship.
From which I thought was home
They wail, plead, and call,
but I ignore their cries-
Tangled within sea foam,
And broken lies.
like they once did
when I was sinking
Underneath a horrid storm.
I stand on this ship,
Made from survivors like me.
Looking out into the sea,
Hoping that one good person survived,
But all of them betrayed and hurt me.
I walk around this ruined ship,
Wooden frame- weathered and cracked.
Broken glass and bottles cover the claustrophobic halls,
Planks of this wood are warped from time and pain.
Engraved is the blood of guilt and shame.
I hear them call- “PLEASE HELP, WE‘RE SORRY! ”
but they stole my trust the way they’d steal from the mall.
The sails hang in shreds of fabric, torn by storms of fear,
Open crevasses lead below deck,
Filled with rain, blood, glass, and a permanent echo of “what’s next?”
The hull groans and mumbles under the weight of the pain,
Of the shame— for not standing up straighter, than it thought it could handle.
The ship had finally crumpled, under the weight of the “betrayed” they were carrying.
I step off this ghost ship,
And run away from the cries and blood-curdling screams.
I’m not rescuing someone who pleaded and caused me to start drowning.
And I push on, so I can be who I want to be.
I will stand up,
let my rose unfold.
My petals will open
to a day of promise.
I just need time to gather,
to find a day where breathing,
Feels like a flower blooming on a spring day.
That glitter inside me —
the gold, dust, hope, and fire
Come together.
Rising within me
Trying to find power
Bursting through concrete
Like an earthquake does
So strong,
it unlocks the inside of the earth,
like a key.
The cold of pain had passed.
The sun will rise now.
I stand on this ship,
A new one called “hope”
New sails, new wood, new life, my future is still unknown,
on this very bow I stand, tall and strong.
And if I may,
I will let myself be brave,
be loved
be myself,
be unique,
be me.
This ship will lead me home.
The lighthouse beyond this sea.
full of those who remember,
—care about my name,
waiting to welcome home,
not who they thought I was
But the raw-real-new me.
Months slip by
And brush the sandy shore
The rocks have slowly faded
Leaving only a few more.
recovery blooms.
And I start to catch my breath
Knowing that pain will come
But I have to take care of myself
And I know I can.
Each new month shapes my fate.
I have a new rose, golden and yellow,
Fighting for life.
Frayed petals now healing,
From my past fate.
I will fight now like the flower,
Like the color in one.
Always- forever,
I will let myself be that flower- that sun.
I’ll fight the pull of happiness and pain
I’ll push against the days, where the pain is beckoning
I stand strong
I speak up
I will fight the ghosts,
the dreams.
my life.
And who I want to be.
I want to unfold my shadow
Stand in the sun.
I will love myself,
To infinity.
Even if that means,
I fall for a short time.
I am stronger than they all say.
I will always fight, here in healing is where I lay,
It is, and will always be,
a Yellow
kind of Day.