In The Asylum
——-—————
The white-brick walls
Stained red
with thick, scarlet-colored
blood
I— covered in my own blood
and caked in thick mud.
Brown mud—dripping
Engulfing,
Down my black-ripped shorts
Pooling into the metal chains
Is this some sort of game!?
I don’t remember my name
—or ANY names
I stand against the wall
Left hand gripping—
the thin-white mattress cot
With blood and dirt stains
surrounding the corners of the grey “pillow”
Oh gosh…what else have I forgot?
cold steel—on purple, swollen ankles
I try to walk,
But metal tangles.
Leaving my leg strangled.
my wrists- chained.
turning my hands blue,
Each step I take—
I think I'm losing it,
more too.
Thinking this is why I’m here,
I’m crazy —Im one to fear.
My room—unlocked.
I roam the halls,
Ear shrieking screams,
Bounce—echoing throughout the walls.
Blood drips down from the wall, and floor.
even leaving a trace—
On my own “room” door.
The demons roam the halls
Fussing around
Making unrecognizable calls
Blood drips slowly from the weapons
Leaving trails on the floor
No one dares to talk about
Or mention
Why the mumble
In their own language
As ****** weapons
Stay at their sides
I have no one here
—at least-
none that I recognize
With the thick skin
And blood
Seeping into the mix
of wood and concrete floors
Not even the best cleaner could ever
Get this fixed
Each board
creaks under each bellowing scream
Each hole in the ground
Like a little craven
or each trembling step in the damp
No way out..
I used to have a map
But now it’s ******, wet,—
and smudged.
The voices in the cages
Are screaming to run
But I don’t budge..
I try to move
But my body—
Refuses.
Like I’m paralyzed
….I’m TERRIFFED
NO windows.
NO way out.
No way out fight back,
The demons are roaming about.
Gunfire—thunder,
All shakes with no mention.
Like an earthquake,
The room.
The tension.
The smell of must, blood, tears, and smoke—
Fill my lungs, eyes and nose.
I gag. as I try to stumble further,
Down the dim hallway.
JUST hoping that it’s less potent.
Each breath
Is war
From my own body
A growling-gurgle for air
That never comes.
Suffocating
With no escape
I’m locked in here
They sealed my fate
I have lost all control
I don’t have
Hope anymore
I thought I had a chance
But all life gives out is “lasts”
I think mine is..next…
I stand—
The middle of the
Dim-light steep hallway
The shrieking growing louder
As minutes pass
The demons
Mocking-laughing-mumbling
Twisting each bloodied weapon
In there black nails
Blood pooling faster
Like the noise from the “others”
SUDDENLY
silence
The rooms only sound
Is the sharp jagged breathing
my own thoughts
Like “I’m grieving—
my own room,”
The blood flowing from every crevasse
Every person—
ever hole in the floor,
known to be in this asylum
Plus the light clanking of metal
against bone and flesh.
I look around
Wondering why they stopped
The lights flicker
The chains seem to be piercing DEEPER
into my flesh
They keep calling me
“Keeper”
Cause I am forced
to come back.
Lesions forming
From rusted metal
Creating gashes
The sizes of small
Rivers
That carve
Like a woodworker
Deep into my veins
If I move— blood starts to boil
under the rusted metal chains
—pain illuminating
Like a new lightbulb
In a cave
They stare
With red-hollow eyes
Like fire
Not having moved an inch
In what feels like an hour
I blink
I start to cramp
Tears drip down
My bruised-swollen face
But I don’t move
A slow smile begins
Slipping into each face
One after the other
****** teeth and gums reveal
As more blood
slides down there face
They slowly turn
—Looking at each other
Muttering, something…
I can only imagine.
The shuffle back together
Like soldiers taking orders
With one.
slow…deliberate…nod.
Weapons unveil their full selves
Crimson blood now pouring out of the floor, ceiling, walls,
Them, me– with cuts I NEVER knew existed.
SO. MUCH. BLOOD
it starts to flood the asylum
I run
BAD. MISTAKE.
They sprint after me
Weapons drawn
Blood to ankles now
Tumbling through corners
Like playing hide and seek tag
Jumping over rotting cots
Along with dead-open corpses
I can ONLY recognize
As my family
I sprint around sharp turns
Recognizing only the faces of the bodies
My mom..
My dad..
My brother..
My grandparents..
My uncles..aunts,..cousins..
They KNOW
They want .ME. next
now—I’m pretty sure it is too late…
I still bolt down corridors
Prettified screaming
Enveloping each
Turn
Blood bleeding up to my knees
It’s like I’m trying to run a marathon
Through thick mud
After a rain storm
Soon— a dead end
I turn around
Gasping
At the building-bursting pressure
Lighting inside my ribs and chest like fireworks
Head pounding so loud
I debate if they can hear my thoughts
A glint of a knife rounds the corner,
All three
Dash to surround me
Knowing there’s NO. WAY. OUT.
I shutter for breath
As weapons are pressed against my kneck
With them shrieking knowing they have me
I slump to the ground
Knife plunging into my kneck
A little farther
now Blood tricking down
I soon realize
My hand is caught underneath me
The cracked and rotten frame
Im bending it
I slowly inch my hand around the slivering gap
While I keep eye contact
With the hollow men
the boards are stuck together
With my last strength left
I shuffle to a stand
Knowing—that they know I can’t go back..
But I have found a way…
I tear The boards
I— go with it,
Crashing into the ground below
They stare down at me
Mouth—Agape
Then slam down to join me
I crawl to the blooded wall
That now covers
My upper chest
Even though
I’m doused in blood
The weapons pierce into my kneck,
My chest, and my head
I blink
Trying to clear
The blurry—thick
Crimson from my eyes
They speak to me
“Your not loved”
“Your useless”
“Your our toy”
“Your not alive”
“Your not human— so come join us”
“Your too much”
“Your too childish”
“Your to immature”
“Your an idiot”
they blabber
As I pain ignites deeper
Through each wound
They laugh
Then squabble together
“COME SEE US AGAIN.
—WE WILL BE WAITING.
YOUR CONTROLLED NOW.
all lights known to the universe puncture
Through me as pain erupted like a volcano through my chest,heart, and head.
I WAKE UP
Sooo…I had MANY, WHEN I SAY MANY..I MEAN MANY seizures today..severe pain etc.. I AM NOT doing the grammar right now..it’s 11 PM, i feel like Ive been struck by lightning.. but this needed to be done.. I STILL need to TRY to function.. BUT OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 😭🤢😵💫🤕
(THIS took ALOT of energy, time, and strength out of me over the last month and a half..writing this made me cry..made me have PTSD attacks and panic attacks BEYOND normal..I’d APPRECIATE an feedback BESIDES grammar rn… thanks 😥😑☺️)