You helped me blossom into the flower that I am
I may not be the the brightest color in the field
However, I am beautiful amongst the others
My beauty attracts those who see my worth
Past the dull colors that I have blossomed
Dull colors can be beautiful too
-A.D

How messed up can you be
Always changing your mind
Like I turn on and off a light switch
Playing these mind games
Like I play video games
You make me want to scream
As if I was a lion faking pain for my cub
You are Katy Perry’s song
You are hot then you are cold
You are yes then you are no
One minute you want me
Next minute you don’t
You are autumn
It doesn’t know whether to rain or be sunny
To snow or be cloudy
Doesn’t know how to be aligned
Just like your mind
-A.D.

Something fragile yet so strong
Been through the worst
Yet still manages to stay intact
A little beat up and some cracks
Small yet so large
Takes control of the knowledgeable thing
In my entire body
Makes knowledge and common sense
Go straight out the window
Oh, my heart can give so much
Yet receives so little
As it manages to go yet so beaten
Oh, how my heart loves to love
Everything that is imperfect
Which cause cracks within itself
Not knowing how to receive love itself
Since the love received isn’t the love it gives
Wanting what is best for myself
My heart neglects reason
And focus on its feelings
Knowing the bad from good
Choosing bad to try to make them good
How foolish of my heart
Why can’t you stop making the same mistakes?
By listening to your feelings
Instead of listening to reason
These same mistakes cause these cracks
Yet you still manage
To love and care as much
And as hard as you do now
Regardless of what happens
You are foolish yet so strong

-A.D.

It’s not easy being me
Seeing life in beautiful colors
Yet also in their dullest colors
People find dull colors hideous
I find all colors beautiful
I can see life as others can and cannot
I can help those with their sight set on dull
Yet I can’t help myself when I’m dull
Moment in my life have the brightest of beautiful colors
But on other days it’s dark
I embrace the dark with sleep
I embrace the dark with eating
I embrace the dark with silent cries
I embrace the dark entirely
I live my life with this darkness
And I’m ok with it because I can cope with it
But not everyone can cope with it like I
Sometimes, just sometimes
Forcing myself to see beautiful colors
To mask the pain and sadness
Starts to reveal that I’m no longer masking
It’s all reality
You mask your true emotions
So, you don’t receive a
“What’s wrong?”, “Are you ok?”
Every single day of every moment
Masking causes problems for me
Sometimes I cannot mask my emotions
Which effects relationship with people
Friendship, Partnership, and Family
It affects those around me
I apologize for the inconvenience
It’s not easy being me
-A.D.

If only he knew
How much I suffer
Inside my heart and mind
Just to see him smile
To hear his beautiful laugh
It brings me joy to see him happy
Enjoying life
Without me
Without me saying a sound
To anything I have to say
To help him understand me
How I am and what I don’t like
I must keep everything inside
Be a quiet little doll
For his sanity
But little does he know
I’m losing my sanity
-A.D.

Today you finally did it
You took the knife and pierced my heart
You've done your damage
You say you care about me
You say that you love me
If you loved me you wouldn't be hurting me
If you cared about me you wouldn't have abandoned me when I needed you
If you cared about anything that has to do with me
You wouldn't have broken me
You have done it, ***.
You have finally broken me
But guess what, ***,
I'm not going to be crying or down
I'll be smiling and prancing around
Because I know that it is time to go and to never come back
I have people here who will appreciate me
I'll learn from you
You are my mistake
-A.D.

When I wake up in the morning..
I long to see your face...
I love to see your smile...
I love to hear your voice..
I feel the warmth your smile gives me..
I long to spend the day with you..
When I suddenly catch you staring at me..
My face slowly heats up...
Your eyes just makes my heart melt..
I love spending time with you at home...
Just cuddling and sleeping together...
You look very adorable when you sleep..
When it is time to go to bed...
I am in a rush to wake up..
To start the next day..
To see your face..

Even though..
We mainly have downs than ups..
Even though..
You hurt me emotionally...
But you don't even realize it...
Even though..
When you upset me when we argue...
I know that I love you because..
My heart burns with love and hate for you..
-A.D.

I hate myself majority of the times...
Just because I keep hurting what I love...
I keep trying to apologize but that isn't good enough...
I wish you could understand why I'm like this...
I just want you to accept me for me...
I don't like being changed...
I understand you don't like this about me...
That about me..
But I can't help it...
The things I've been through made me this way...
It made me who I am now...
Even though I hate myself majority of the times...
I love who I am
-A.D.

If only people understand..
Why those who have been broken too many times...
Can't really trust or love again...
It isn't like we don't try..
It is just we are scared to go through what we have been through before...
Those painful memories still floats in my head...
Of the time we spent...
It ruins the chances of me trusting someone again...
These experiences weren't the best in my life...
No one should go through these experiences...
But it makes us tough...
-A.D.