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RJC 6d
Beneath my skin, a silent scream,
A war that steals the will to dream.
Each thought a blade, each breath a chore,
I fight the same fight as before.

The morning breaks, but not for me
The light just burns what I can't see.
It blinds, it mocks, it calls me out,
While I sink deeper into doubt.

I walk through life in shadow’s grip,
With cracks along my sinking ship.
I smile, I nod, I play my part,
While drowning quiet in my heart.

"You’re not enough," the voices hiss,
"No one would notice what they miss."
And though I know they like to lie,
Some days, I still believe I’ll die.

But not today though I am numb,
Though all I feel is what's to come.
Some thread still holds me to the ground,
A fragile tether, barely bound.

It’s not a spark, it’s not a flame,
Just something small I cannot name.
But it's enough to keep me near,
To face the dark, to fight the fear.

So when the weight begins to press,
And I am lost in hopelessness,
I'll grip that thread with trembling hands,
And plant my feet in shifting sands.

I may not shine, I may not soar,
But I will crawl back from the floor.
No finish line, no perfect track
Just breath by breath beneath the black.
RJC May 29
I wake beneath a leaden sky,
No reason clear, no answer why.
Just one more day inside this head,
That whispers soft: you’re better dead.

The mirror shows a ghostly trace,
Of someone lost behind a face.
I fake a smile, I fake a laugh,
But feel the break in every half.

My limbs are stone, my breath is thin,
The war begins beneath my skin.
A thousand voices crowd my mind,
So cruel, so loud, so unkind.

"You’ll never change," they start to say,
"You’ll always feel this slow decay."
But still I rise—though slow, though weak
With no grand words I need to speak.

Some days I crawl, some days I stand,
Some days I need a steady hand.
But even when I barely move,
It counts. It hurts. But it’s a proof.

That I am here, despite the tide,
Despite the ache I try to hide.
I walk through storms no one can see,
A quiet war inside of me.

And though I fall, and though I ache,
And beg the dark to give me break
I push, I fight, I breathe somehow,
I may not win, but I won't bow.

So let the night come, cold and wide,
I’ll brace myself and still abide.
No crown, no cheer, no perfect light
Just one more step.
Just one more fight.
RJC May 29
Each day I wake, a silent war
No marching drums, no lion’s roar.
Just heavy limbs and hollow eyes,
And dreams that fracture when I rise.

The sun feels distant, cold, and cruel,
Its warmth a lie, its light a tool.
My thoughts, like chains, wrap tight around,
And pull me down without a sound.

Depression waits behind the glass,
It whispers truths that never pass:
"You're worthless now, you'll always be
A weight, a wound, a mockery."

I wear a mask, I play the part,
But cracks run deep within my heart.
They smile and speak I nod along,
While inside me, nothing feels wrong.

Not wrong, not right just dead and still,
A vacant house atop a hill.
And yet I move, and yet I breathe,
While sorrow coils beneath my sleeve.

Some nights, I drown in silent screams,
In battles fought inside my dreams.
But morning comes I stand again,
Still stitched together by my pain.

Not healed. Not whole. Not shining bright.
But dragging shadows into light.
And if I fall, I’ll rise once more,
Though bruised, though bent, though ****** sore.

So let the dark come stake its claim,
I'll face it all, I'll take the flame.
For even if I lose the day,
I fought—I fought—and didn’t stray.
RJC May 28
Trapped in a love that won’t release,
Wounds still raw, no sign of peace.
Walls like armor, cold and tight,
Yearning for truth to pierce the night.

Haunted by echoes of whispered lies,
Beneath the silence, the heart still cries.
Shadows dance where hope once grew,
Waiting for light to break on through.

Chains of doubt that bind so strong,
Yet still I cling where I don’t belong.
In the wreckage, I search for grace—
A shattered soul in this empty space.

But somewhere deep, a fire still burns,
A restless flame that twists and turns.
It fights the dark, it breaks the chains,
Refusing to be lost in pain.

Though walls may stand and wounds may bleed,
This love won’t die, it won’t concede.
Waiting for truth to tear apart
The fortress built around my heart.
RJC May 28
Don’t ask me if I’m doing fine,
I buried that beneath the line
Where rage once roared, a silence grew,
Now all that’s left is residue.

I used to burn, I used to break,
I screamed until the seams would shake.
But fury fades like all things do
It leaves you cold and hollow too.

You taught me how to bite my tongue,
To swallow pain and stay unsung.
Now every word I don’t release
Becomes a chain that won’t find peace.

I’m not okay, I’m not alive,
I only breathe so I survive.
A statue made from smoke and stone,
A soul that’s tired of breaking alone.

There’s thunder under quiet skin,
A war I fight but never win.
So don’t mistake this vacant face
It’s rage, it’s grief, it’s my disgrace.

But in the ash, a spark remains,
A pulse defiant in my veins.
I’ll rise, not soft, but forged and true
Not who I was, but someone new.
RJC May 27
I walk through ruins made up of me,
Fragments of who I used to be.
Every step, a memory’s sting,
Every breath, a shattered thing.

Hope flickers low but will not die,
It hides behind a tearless cry.
I speak to ghosts no one can hear,
And hold my fears like souvenirs.

I am the fire, I am the flood,
A quiet storm beneath the blood.
I smile with lips I’ve taught to lie,
And laugh while breaking down inside.

No map to where I’m meant to go,
No anchor left in all I know.
But still I rise on fractured feet
A heart half-torn, yet incomplete.

If love returns, it must be real,
It must not ask my soul to kneel.
Until then, I will bear the ache
A soul rebuilding from the quake.
RJC May 27
There’s a war beneath my skin tonight,
No peace, no pause, no end in sight.
My thoughts collide like crashing seas,
The quiet screams, The begging pleas.

I wear a smile that doesn’t stay,
It slips and fades and melts away.
Each heartbeat’s loud, but never heard
Each hope, a ghost, each truth, a blur.

I trace the scars you cannot see,
Etched deep in places within me.
My chest a cage, my breath a fight,
I dream of calm, but wake to fright.

I question every word I say,
Then curse myself for feeling that way.
I miss the me I used to know
Before the fractures split my core.

And yet still I stand, though the soul is sore,
A soldier lost in love’s long war.

I carry wounds no eyes can see,
Battles fought inside of me.
My armor cracks with every breath,
As I walk a line between life and death.


Yet here I stand, though torn apart
A bleeding shield, a broken heart.
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