I've got a hole where my heart used to be
And a void fills the space
Thicker and blacker than any darkness you've ever known
Ask me if I care
Ask me if I feel anything other than a numb, hollow ache
I promise my answer will disappoint you

White ashes
Like stardust
Cover this place
A thin blanket

White ashes
Like old dust
Cover this place
Untouched

White ashes
Like snow
Cover this place
It's cold

White ashes
From old flames
Settled
Into their new home

A fire raged on
Burned everything
Ate wood and flesh
Took life and brought death

It started in the darkness
Illuminated the shadows
Leaving black coal
And white ash

Consumed
Until the earth was scorched
And barren
And lifeless

Roared
Like a beast
And feasted upon
Sleeping bodies

Died
When it killed
All that it could
Like a reaper

Gone
As easily as it started
Burned bright hot
Now cold as ice

All that's left
Is an acrid smell
Black coal and
White ashes

Here where I lay
Consciousness fades away
And in its place
Filled by an empty space
Is where I sleep
Lost in dreams so deep

I only feel good at night
When I can wear the shadows like blankets
And the solitude like a shield

I’m surrounded by sleeping minds
Ones wrapped up in dreams and other realities
And I’m sensitive to the possibilities
All their minds can conjure
And in my waking state
I capture all their imaginations can create
And I write it all down
In my little blue book

It’s not that I fight against sleep
Sleep is one of the only states I can bear
Unconsciousness is a welcome form of escapism

I seem to only write when it’s dark
Which may explain why all my concepts and ideas
Make other people shudder
All of us have an innate fear of absence
Absence of light
Absence of meaning
Absence of love
Absence of everything

I’m afraid of losing my mind
And not being able to find my way back
Mistaking my imagination for a warped reality

Lips trembling
I fake a smile
Because
It's much easier
Than answering
All the questions

"Are you okay?"
"What's wrong?"
"Can I do anything to help?"

I know what I should feel
Isn't what I'm feeling
And the whole world
Just wants to help
But they don't understand
I'm doing this to myself

"Call me if you need anything."
"I'll always be here for you."
"You have to talk about this, please."

I don't want to talk
But that's not because
I think no one will listen
It's because
Words sound hollow
And I'm feeling so empty

"You have to fight this."
"I believe in you."
"You're stronger than this."

I'm just tired
Of being told
That some day
It'll be better
And the pain will wash away
With each grain of sand

"Time heals all wounds."
"You're still so young, so much to live for."
"Tomorrow will be a brighter day."

I'm the only one
Who seems to see
I'm the only one who can fix this
Not you
Not time
Not talking

Me.

I can hear you singing
And reaching out to me
Through the grace of this breeze
And in the warmth of the sun
It’s like your hand is gliding against my skin
My mouth is empty
Full of things it can never express
And I owe you so much
It doesn’t seem fair to leave you this way
But I’ve walked, and I’ll keep on walking still
Until there’s an entire Earth between us
I’ll stay where there’s no wind to carry your voice
No sun to touch what skin has been burnt
And I won’t say a single word
And I’ll try not to feel anything
Because I owe myself that much, at least.

Cold compassion
Like a kiss that’s sweet
And a bite that’s raw
Cold compassion
It’s the only thing I feel
The only thing I have
Cold compassion
Fills me
Defiles me
Cold compassion
I’d die without
But it’s choking me
Cold compassion
Like a mist to cool the pain
And a fire to scorch my brain
Cold compassion
Is all ******* lies
Worn out cries
Something I love and despise.