Sometimes I feel like I’m floating
The things I hold on to so dearly don’t seem to stick
Or rather those whom I hold so dearly
Or rather him
I don’t have any big, existential troubles
I was always loved from the start
It isn’t that.
Everyone wants to share dreams
A hand to hold
A heart to warm
All the clichés.
Good things happen to me
Or rather great things
Even great people
Yet, sometimes I feel like I’m floating
I have a glad heart
Tinged with sadness
Unsure of that caress
So I escape to the gardens
My feet firm on the earth
To feel my skin glow in the sun
To breathe my being out into a whimsical escape
I have learned--
I am learning--
It’s all ok, everything in stride
Always one more stride
To round the corner
To see those eyes
That warm spark in the eyes
That sure caress
I may recognize it
It may be new
But one thing I know
Whatever the result
It’ll be ok

there doesn't have to be wrong and right
who we are is not a fight
pointing guns with trembling hands
waiting for the other to understand
love is more than a heavy heart
we're on the same side

there doesn't have to be yours or mine
always walking a thin line
slinging arrows of black and white
lying on tear-stained sheets at night
there is still magic to be had
we're on the same side

The passage of time
A whisper of wind
A budding violet in the woods
A vine creeping on an ancient wall,
Smooth, green shoots caressing cracked stone.

Stains and shadows
Hushed halls
A dusty page
In a once cherished book,
The bindings now loose

The whispering wind tells new stories,
New stories that link with the old
And create an intricate, mysterious, charming dance
Of life.
Whispers of light and shadow

Old blood, smoothed over
Green within the red
A new skin, a new heart, peeking out of the grass
They lift up their voice and add their whispers to the chorus
The pain is gone, the door is shut, the day has dawned anew.

The days where I still think about it
The days where it creeps up to haunt me
The days where I don’t look for it, yet find it
Around a corner, underneath a table,
Waiting to run me through like a ghostly mist,
Cold, cruel, and taunting

These are the days that still happen to me,
Once in awhile,
Though I am better.
I no longer wake to such shadows
I don’t have it pounding at my head
I don’t even necessarily remember what such misery feels like
I just know I never want to feel it again.

These days where it leaps out to grab me,
Clawing at my ankles, trying to pull me back
To the hell I finally escaped
Are just days.
A reminder to fight
A battle call to move forward.
So, I glance down towards the demons
And reach up towards the light.

Whip lash
Gutted heart
Gruesome, dripping
****** mass

Flashback
Opened door
Flaring scar
My stupid fault

Tired, so tired
******, push on
Fight fire with fire
Another step beyond

Things that don't matter
Steel your mind
Guard your heart
Let it go, you'll be fine

Deep breath
Slowed pulse
Clearing vision
Ebbing pain

Fading scar
Let it heal
Beating heart
Hope is near.

"Half-sick of shadows"
Yet incessantly longing for the night
A shadow-wrapped liaison
Our skin uttering what we have not

Half-sick of scars
Yet longing to kiss yours
Both of us healed, both of us unsure
Both longing for the clinging dark

Sweet nighttime
Love-drunk revelry
Hands tangled in my hair
Your hands clinging to my thighs

Moonlit heat
Love lit obsession
Lips caress my teardrops
Your pleasure curves my spine

Grasping hands and knowing hearts
In the shadows we find the truth
In the darkness,
In the shimmering stillness,
In the sweet nighttime.