Rupert McColl can do it all
If the object is to sell beer
But if you want it told like it is
Then I guess that's why I'm here


Cause I can remember the old Vickie Bridge
The Fishboard and The Palace
It was the Manhattan I think, where I had my first drink
And for that I'll bear them no malice


On a hot summers day, when we wanted to play
We'd all head to Davies Park Pool
If u hadn't the fare or just for a dare
The river was clean and cool


We played Cricket in the street, in our ***** bare feet
That's if we had a ball
And when the cars come past, they'd give us a blast
But we didn't say much at all


On the way home from school we'd all play the fool
That was always a habit
And if u could see some good fruit on a tree
You'd shinny right up there and grab it


Yes Brisbane back then was a wonderful place
But naïve like a novice, just learning
And I suppose I should see its just my reverie
And the days of my youth that I'm yearning


REDMAN

Don't do that you'll hurt yourself
Don't do that its bad for your health
I don't care cos I'm only young
I don't care cos I'm having fun


I'll be happy to live till I'm twenty
That I'll do me , that I'll be plenty
Twenty years that's a lifetime
Twenty years ill go in my prime


Twenty years that came around quick
I'm still having fun and I don't feel sick
Now that I've lasted this long I'm quiet sure
I can hang on for at least twenty more


I'm forty now and surprise, surprise
I feel as if I've just opened my eyes
Who's in charge, Who's running the show
Where are we heading, dose anyone know


How can I help with all my great knowledge
Forty years of living, a couple at college
I'll join a cause and I'll fight the good fight
I'll just see if I can put things right


I never thought I'd make three score
Now that I have I'm aiming for four
Well why not, You never know matey
Lots of people live till there eighty


Don't do that you'll hurt yourself
Don't do that its bad for your health
I don't care cause I'm really old
and I don't have to do what I'm told


REDMAN

Would you like coffee or tea Mr Electrician
The customer eagerly inquired
My wife and I feel so much safer
Now that our house is rewired


Oh thank you so much Mr Plumber
Wont you please come in out of the rain
I'll make you a hot cup of Bonox
Thank God you unblocked our drain


This is the way we were treated
When I was a younger man
But with the advent of globalisation
Respect has gone down the can


Now they'll ring twenty tradesmen
Ask them all for a free written quote
Then they'll pick out the cheapest
And to their friends they will gloat


They don't say thanks for a good job
They don't really acknowledge your being
They're just looking for ways not to pay you
The dollars are all that they're seeing


When and if they decide to pay you
You best be prepared to wait
Thirty days that's the minimum
It'll be sixty more likely mate


So I have come to a conclusion
And I'll give it to you straight
The Yuppies don't deserve my labour
And I'd rather sit on my Date



REDMAN

Mission Control!, Mission Control!
We're going through a ******* hole
Where did they go, the screens went blank
There's nothing in the memory bank


That's three this week its getting worse
These black holes are a real curse
But we'll keep trying, we've no choice
Of that opinion we're all one voice


Hurtling into the atmosphere
Adam knew this place was queer
he couldn't control Genesis 1
It lurched, it rolled, it tumbled, it spun


Genesis 1 crashed into the sea
And from the wreckage Adam and Eve climbed free
They found their way from there to land
And on this planet they made a stand


There was plenty of food to eat
The air was good, they liked the heat
This was a planet where they could stay
But the other animals looked on is dismay


"I think I know!" Eve then said
As Adam stood scratching his head
"Why the other animals don't admire us,
Its because they we're a virus"


REDMAN